To think it’s rude to put the tv when you have a guest?

[worriert]

Whenever I go over to a friends house (and she’s done this when me and a mutual friend are there), she’ll say let’s watch an episode of x.

This can be episode 10 of something I don’t watch and have no interest in. Like Love Island.

Like I’ve driven the 40 minutes to see you, not to watch a program I have no interest in and zero idea as to what’s going on.

Wow that's utterly bizarre behaviour. I don't think I'd go over again....

My late DM would have described having the TV on with guests in the house as "the height of ignorance".

2 TV situations have happened to me:

1. Pil invited us and another couple for a meal on New Year’s day one year.
   They have a tiny house, no dining room so fil set up a dining table in the living room, also tiny. Table was all set, they had made loads of effort….
   but, fil sat at the head of the table knife and fork in hand waiting for mil to serve him while facing the TV at the other end of the table with a football match on.
   Full on football match, volume turned up, roaring crowd throughout the entire meal.
   No conversation took place as no one could hear anyone talking anyway.
   Meal finished, football still on, fil sat there, didn’t move, still sat there watching it.
   Everyone left the minute they had finished the meal.

2. invited for a coffee to a friends, there were 4 of us. 2 of us baked so we had coffee & cake.
   we all crammed into the living room where friend’s husband was also sitting.
   fine, but, he was watching the Simpsons.

Because we were talking, he couldn’t hear the Simpsons SO he turned the volume up. Right fucking up.
We all stopped talking, friend who invited us over proceeded to watch the Simpsons too. So after being at her house for about 20 minutes, I got up and said I was leaving, then so did the others.
Friend and husband didn’t even take their eyes off the TV to say goodbye.
Weirdest fucking thing ever.

My mil thinks we are unsophisticated and are boring when we don't out the telly on

I mean, it was considered rude when we were young, and back then you watched TV programmes at the time or you couldn't watch them at all.

Now you can catch up at any time with a programme you missed, there is no excuse.

I think it's nice to have a bit of background music on.
It's awful when you walk into a house and it's deathly quiet with no atmosphere.

Yes! She could watch on demand!

Yeah, I have a friend like that too (add in the kitchen tv) it's just what they do. But I've known her my whole life (her parents would have thought it properly rude!) Drives me mad as I find it distracting and all the noise overwhelming, but her house, her choice💁🏻‍♀️

Oh well, I'll meet you elsewhere then. I hate background noise.

YoubTELL them to turn the TV. off in THEIR house.

they are not the rudest ones in that situation.

My relatives have been known to subject other family members to Filipino sports channels and then clear off out of the room (my uncle married someone from the Philippines and they used to have some TV package that showed Filipino channels, I don't think they've kept it up though). That got annoying.

I was invited to a friend's place one Saturday night. She gave me some warm squash and looked at Facebook on her laptop, sometimes reading out things people I didn't know had posted.

Another time I was at someone's house and his mum wanted to watch Coronation Street. She turned up the volume to drown us all out.

Other matches are important if you follow a team because of the impact of the league positions. Half the guests did want to watch it you say.

I think it's a bit weird yes. I once had a friend that did this, I was a bit taken aback. The message is that talking to you is not much fun and / or too much effort.

You can just look it up online after, it's not 1970.

Nit the same as watching live though. Yiu can really spot the non football fans on MN by such comments.

Well then don't invite guests when matches are on if that's your preference!

Saying that would be far ruder than having the TV on.

You think? When they invite us over to socialise and then sit there in front of the TV with column on loud noise can think straight? I'm in my own right to ask them to turn it off if they want to chat properly and not stare empty at a screen.

Especially when the kids just stare at it too and we all literally sit there twiddling our tumbs. What's the point in being there otherwise?

It being on it the background is slightly different, you need to calm down!

Hmm, my 23 year old does this. She recently bought her own place. She has a massive TV and likes to have it on. I think it's a comfort thing, because she felt a bit lonely at the start.
I don't like it and consider it rude, but she doesn't see it that way ... probably because of her age and high functioning autism.

I've never seen a younger person do it, but my older family do this - foreigner DH was a bit confused when we visited my auntie for the second time and the telly was on, he thought she was hinting that she wanted us to leave and I had to explain that in an old school Glasgow family, them not putting the telly off when you visit is a sign that they've accepted you as one of their own 😊

MN is a funny old place. The scenario you describe wouldn't bother me in the slightest, OP. TV is a social activity for lots of people.

If you’ve already been there an hour or so, I’d say “oh if you want to watch that, I’ll just head off now as it’s not something I’m into” or if you’ve just got there you could try saying “any chance we could have a catchup first?”

It's rude with a friend you've arranged to have a catch up with.
Not rude if it's someone you see regularly just to hang out with at each others houses.

If there’s an important football match on, then invite people round another time.

I’m not good with loud noise & I really hate having to deal with two sources of noise at the same time. If the TV is talking and people are talking, I struggle. And that’s quite apart from finding football boring.