Going NC with Ex again

[Booskiepoo]

i contacted an ex after a long time , for a benign reason as the break up was bad , he was a player who didn’t treat me well and I thought it might be helpful for my mental health

the conversation went a bit left field as I wanted to understand why he’d done some of the things he had done , but he wanted me to get back with him and said always missed me loved me etc

I did love this guy a lot so that was a difficult conversation and I explained that I’m married , never called to get back with him and that my DH knew about the conversation.

some of the stuff this guy said was really deep and he seemed depressed, he hadn’t found happiness and was lonely , I said let’s be friends and keep in touch but I’m not available and married

he’s now gone NC, which I’m not sure I wanted to do , but also think it’s the right thing

AIBU to feel sad and worried about him , and have a whole host of feelings.
the honesty from him did stir up some feelings I think

Today I cried . I know the NC is the right thing to do but I also care a lot and I’m struggling with my emotions

AIBU to feel like this

Easy to mythologise a man who remains a ex boyfriend. He doesn’t have to do parenting or emotional labour. He gets to be the hot ex, one you wonder about. He’s still single because of him. You’re not responsible for his relationship status, he is

you changed jobs. Vanished of SM. Because of him he must have been a complete head fuck. Don’t minimise that

Honestly, stay out of this, OP. You're married now and picking away at old relationships can only be painful and unsettling for you and possibly damage your marriage.
If Ex still misses you then the last thing he needs to do is be in touch again, so there's nothing you can do to help.

Are you unhappy in your current relationship? Because if you weren't you wouldn't care about any of this

Ok so he is a liar, but a sentimental liar, is what this says. Or its more accurate to say you are extremely gullible and don’t understand that a certain type of person has an enormous well of self pity that they can tap to display to you as they try to wheedle you out of sex or money. The “raw” and “deep” things he said were lies. He lies easily, you knos this because he cheated on you. You are foolish to think he could change or you could get s true word out of him.

You really believe all that twaddle 🙄

Na clearly I don’t believe the twaddle because I said no thank you , but reaching out to my mum ladies to keep me strong when the wobbles happen . Maybe am weak sometimes but not completely gullible : )

you seem nice im going to send you flowers, actually im going to give you a thousand pounds and a nice holiday. why have i said this is to show you anyone can say anything doesnt mean they are telling the truth, mean what they say or deliver what they promise. he is a player he hasn't settled with anyone because he is a piece of shit. who uses nice caring kind empathetic women like yourself who think you can help him or make him better. newsflash thats not your job to do that, you have a husband who loves you for you and you should be grateful youve found that. you should block/delete and put your ex in the trash where he belongs.

We are always here to keep you strong, OP.