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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU.. Banning Teens From House

81 replies

RedVelvetIcing · 28/11/2024 13:03

AIBU..

We moved into our brand new build a few months ago and I have been easy going at having people over but the lack of respect towards my house is tipping me over the edge and is causing me and my child to fall out.

I’m aware some of these may sound like no big deal but I have OCD and I have worked hard to have nice things as a single mum and I don’t want stuff ruined or the expense of having to replace them.

•They think my house is a free for all. They come immediately after school despite me saying no and some nights they don’t leave until 8:45. At the weekend they want to be here most of the time meaning we have very little time without other kids in the house. I feel like this is affecting my child’s diet and school work as she will put her friends above sitting down for a full meal. I say no they come anyway.

•I’ve had extra kids sneak in during sleepovers. One was sick all over the patio doors when I had no idea they were even here.

•They are incapable of using the toilet without leaving skid marks.

•They have spilt drinks all up my fresh white walls and on my carpets. Some walls need to be repainted and I could do with having certain carpets cleaned.

•They’ve broken some blinds which need to be replaced. Again these are only months old and now I need to spend more money to change them.

• They vape in the house and it stinks - I’ve told them not to vape in my house but it falls on deaf ears. They think my kitchen is a free for all too.

•They crash and drive around and the house thuds - No matter how many times I tell them to stop banging they continue and I don’t want to annoy my neighbours.

I could give more examples but they are much the same. The lack of respect is pissing me off something rotten but I don’t know if I’m being irrational. It seems everytime they are here something else breaks or a new stain appears somewhere.

I’m well aware having OCD is part of the problem but am I a crazy mum to say that my teens friends aren’t welcome in my home?

OP posts:
BessiePage · 04/12/2024 16:48

Ocd or not , do a full on rant , boundaries is needed , make sure your neighbours hear you , they might be suffering too , you might get support then .

Piwi1625 · 04/12/2024 17:36

RedVelvetIcing · 28/11/2024 13:03

AIBU..

We moved into our brand new build a few months ago and I have been easy going at having people over but the lack of respect towards my house is tipping me over the edge and is causing me and my child to fall out.

I’m aware some of these may sound like no big deal but I have OCD and I have worked hard to have nice things as a single mum and I don’t want stuff ruined or the expense of having to replace them.

•They think my house is a free for all. They come immediately after school despite me saying no and some nights they don’t leave until 8:45. At the weekend they want to be here most of the time meaning we have very little time without other kids in the house. I feel like this is affecting my child’s diet and school work as she will put her friends above sitting down for a full meal. I say no they come anyway.

•I’ve had extra kids sneak in during sleepovers. One was sick all over the patio doors when I had no idea they were even here.

•They are incapable of using the toilet without leaving skid marks.

•They have spilt drinks all up my fresh white walls and on my carpets. Some walls need to be repainted and I could do with having certain carpets cleaned.

•They’ve broken some blinds which need to be replaced. Again these are only months old and now I need to spend more money to change them.

• They vape in the house and it stinks - I’ve told them not to vape in my house but it falls on deaf ears. They think my kitchen is a free for all too.

•They crash and drive around and the house thuds - No matter how many times I tell them to stop banging they continue and I don’t want to annoy my neighbours.

I could give more examples but they are much the same. The lack of respect is pissing me off something rotten but I don’t know if I’m being irrational. It seems everytime they are here something else breaks or a new stain appears somewhere.

I’m well aware having OCD is part of the problem but am I a crazy mum to say that my teens friends aren’t welcome in my home?

Oh hell to the no!! How old is your child?

ScarfsAndHats · 05/12/2024 04:34

RedVelvetIcing · 28/11/2024 14:57

Thank you all so much for your replies, I really do appreciate them.

I would like to add that none of them are allowed to have each other over at their houses like this as when they were allowed they were even worse.

Quite often they force themselves upon one of their grandparents which I don’t think is fair. I have no idea what their parents must think as their kids are rarely with them and my child only made friends with them when we moved here. I’m single so I don’t have anyone to back me up.

My daughter says she feels pressured to have them here or to spend so much time with them and as a result she bombards me until I give in. This is a whole other issue which I’m trying to deal with as she is burnt out from having no time to herself.

These teenagers are 15 and turning 16. My DD is the youngest and an only child.

There has been times when I’ve snapped and told them all to get out after they’ve damaged something/continued to vape/make too much noise. Sleepovers are no longer allowed.

I do have diagnosed OCD but I’ve worked hard to control it but some of the things they do triggers it.

My daughter says to me that she doesn’t want them ruining our things either and that she often says she doesn’t want them in anyway but she can’t say no to them.

I will definitely be taking full control back. Thank you all again

Op you’re letting your daughter down by not stopping these kids coming over. She’s literally said to you she doesn’t want them over but can’t say no. Help her.
tbh it sounds like bullying from their side.
Help her make new friends.

these sound like teens from hell. Not all teens are like this. Many arn’t this bloody disrespectful and rude.

ChristmasFox · 05/12/2024 04:42

AttachmentFTW · 28/11/2024 13:08

Do you literally have OCD (obsessive, intrusive thoughts that something awful will happen unless you engage in a particular compulsive behaviour) or are you using it in that really offensive way people do, when they just mean they like a nice home or are abit obsessed with cleaning?

Also, you say you so no but they do all these things anyway (have friends round, vape). What are the consequences for these behaviours? Your child is so disobedient, it's really rude. How are you putting down the boundary? Because they seem to be running all over it.

Do you literally have OCD (obsessive, intrusive thoughts that something awful will happen unless you engage in a particular compulsive behaviour) or are you using it in that really offensive way people do, when they just mean they like a nice home or are abit obsessed with cleaning

She’s not being very offensive, and if you wanted to try to educate her on this, there are better ways, and to be honest, probably better times. In fact, you’re coming across as pretty offensive yourself.

Edited to add, I see the OP actually does have OCD which makes your post even worse. Imagine that.

MyJoyousBiscuit · 02/03/2025 21:02

Your OCD isn't a problem here! Maybe you're like me and don't have enough good people in your life supporting you so you tend to blame yourself. Those kids are taking the piss out of you and do not let anyone gaslight you to think different. You've worked hard to give your family a good home, be very proud of that and don't let anyone ruin what you've built. Stand up for yourself and tell them to go and disrespect their homes. You can't allow this!

louisbalfournice · 04/10/2025 19:14

They don't need to come into your home. End of. It's your home

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