To walk to nursery with two toddlers in the cold?

[Chillyoutthere]

I like to walk to pre-school/nursery with my 3 and 1 year old children whenever possible. I enjoy it, I think they enjoy it, and I believe it’s better for us all to be outdoors instead of in a car.

The walk is about 25 minutes to pre-school, and then a further 15 minutes to nursery with a buggy and buggy board. Sometimes my husband will take one child and I’ll take the other (older one scoots in this scenario), which makes each journey about 20-25 minutes. Traffic is awful so it’s only about 5 minutes quicker in the car.

Obviously, it’s getting colder, which is leading lots of input from my MIL regarding our commute. She feels very strongly that it’s bad for kids to be outside in the cold (1C this morning). I am being told / texted multiple times a day that they will get ill, this is bad parenting and that I am selfish.

I disagree. I was brought up to believe that there’s no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothes! Both kids were both wearing hats, gloves and snowsuits this morning.

So, dare I ask… AIBU?

Er what? Does she think kids should stay inside all winter? I grew up where it was much colder and we walked. It's much better for your health and theirs!

As long as it’s not raining or snowing wrap up and enjoy it

If children in Scandinavia or Canada avoided cold weather, they'd never go out during the autumn/winter!!! Your MIL is being ridiculous! Fresh air is good for children. As long as they're appropriately dressed, I don't see an issue!

How does she even know these finer details of your day?

We live in Sweden, our just turned three year old is walked to nursery no matter the weather, her nursery is outside apart from toilets and mealtimes as long as temperatures are above -5. It also means fewer colds as she doesn’t spend the day stuck in a room with the windows shut.

Just got back from a walk with my 92 year old parent, so we're at the other end of the age spectrum! Fabulous blue sky and winter sun. All wrapped up with hats, gloves and scarves, with thick insulated coats. It was lovely just being outside and looking at the changing colours of all the trees and berries.

Just ask yourself how my parent's generation coped. I'm 56 and growing up in the 70s most households only had one car, which the husband took to work. Lots of women couldn't drive. We walked. Decent shoes and coats, job done.

I have a theory that lots of homes are overheated because people never go out in the cold and get used to it, or if they go out, overdress. How many people do you see wearing bobble hats in the summer.

She lives too close! 😂

I don’t drive so she knows walking is my only option if husband has an early start at work. Oddly enough, we have always managed just fine on people power/public transport, even when we lived further away and couldn’t be assisted.

Our difference in opinion regarding temperature perception is very longstanding (she also disagrees with me taking them to the park outside of July, refusing to put heating on before October, any kind of water-based play outside even in the summer 😂). I just don’t think I’m going to be able to get through to her that we WANT to walk. I have explained it so very many times.

What does she think people who don't drive do? I didn't drive when ds was small, we walked everywhere. When it was time for middle school the children who were ferried everywhere in the car found it hard and had little road sense.

Just tell your MIL you're using the car, she won't know!

My mum didn't drive and dad left the house at 7, I hated the winter walks to school.
It was depressing. Looking back it still depresses me!
I class my children as very lucky having a mum that runs them to school and collects them.
In summer, I park further away and we walk a little, due to where we live, we can't walk the whole way.

Exactly!! These are all my arguments.

Yesterday, my eldest taught me a new song with actions whilst we scooted home. This morning, we stamped on some icy puddles and they were loving the sparkly frost in the sunshine.

Being stuck in traffic is warmer but way less fun.

I don’t drive! That’s how she’s on to my outrageous behaviour.

Yes, the entire northern Europe is abusing children. Dear lord, memories of being taken to the nursery on a sled in -30 are the happiest memories of my life. I am still here, largely intact, with all my fingers a toes present.

I don't drive so my children were used to walking in all weathers and still are as young adults!
I'd be tempted to tell her to bugger off but I'm sure her intentions are well placed, so maybe not the best idea!
When I've been on school trips with young children, it's blatantly obvious which children are used to walking and which children are ferried everywhere in cars. It's good for them to be outside! You can have such lovely conversations while you're walking.

There's a proportion of people who think children will melt in the rain or freeze to death in minus temperatures

We live in a village the furthest road out isn't even half a mile away. Many who live in this village drive in during inclement weather and then drive back home...

I wish a few more parents thought like you, then there wouldn't be the ridiculous parking issues outside schools.

I live in a village 1/2 a mile from the local school and virtually every parent on the street drives their child to school. There are quiet roads with pavements all the way. It's bonkers.

Oh, trickier then! Just tell her you'll ask if you need help , she sounds lovely wanting to help and a bit further into winter you might well appreciate a lift. If she's anything like me dad you just have to get used to repeating yourself .

My MIL is similar and I told her that Scandinavian babies sleep outside in their prams as it boosts their immune systems

www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21537988

She sounds like an absolute pain. What does your husband say about it? I think you need to politely ask her to back off and preferably with your husband's support.

It was great fun though!!

Has your husband had a word?

Tell your MIL that numbers of children go to forest schools - my GC do - and it's not just the walk there, they're out all day. There is a covered place with open sides for rain/sleet and for the babies to sleep. All well so far.

I was put outside as a baby

I'm still here

I don't understand how she has the audacity to text you and turn up unasked like this, so judgemental and rude to you.

Your DH needs to tell her to stop because you can't live like this. She needs to accept you are the parents, and constant texting you the Dil is inappropriate and disrespectful.

It's none of her business unless she's asked for her opinion.

You could say- If you want to help wrap up warm and come and join the fun - make sure you have sensible shoes.
Singing and your son's new song all the way should help convince her you really are doing it because you enjoy it. (and probably embarrass her so much she wont do it again)