To walk to nursery with two toddlers in the cold?

[Chillyoutthere]

I like to walk to pre-school/nursery with my 3 and 1 year old children whenever possible. I enjoy it, I think they enjoy it, and I believe it’s better for us all to be outdoors instead of in a car.

The walk is about 25 minutes to pre-school, and then a further 15 minutes to nursery with a buggy and buggy board. Sometimes my husband will take one child and I’ll take the other (older one scoots in this scenario), which makes each journey about 20-25 minutes. Traffic is awful so it’s only about 5 minutes quicker in the car.

Obviously, it’s getting colder, which is leading lots of input from my MIL regarding our commute. She feels very strongly that it’s bad for kids to be outside in the cold (1C this morning). I am being told / texted multiple times a day that they will get ill, this is bad parenting and that I am selfish.

I disagree. I was brought up to believe that there’s no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothes! Both kids were both wearing hats, gloves and snowsuits this morning.

So, dare I ask… AIBU?

Ask MIL What the difference is between getting suitably dressed to walk to nursery and getting suitably dressed to play out in the garden while at nursery.

Surely MIL knows that nurseries and pre-schools encourage (or should) outdoor play whatever the weather.

There's no such thing as bad weather. Only bad clothing!

As long as you're all wrapped up, and it's not dangerously slippery or similar there shouldn't be an issue. Besides, if they're at nursery chances are they'll be going out to play anyway.

Ridiculous on her part. How is she otherwise? Are you sure this isn't just an excuse to criticise your parenting and undermine you?

Your kids are getting fresh air, exercise, extra time outdoors in daylight - all so important. So long as they have appropriate clothing they will be all the more healthier for having this morning routine.
I also spent part of my childhood in a Scandinavian country where we were outside napping, playing, walking to school, in sub-zero temperatures. No one ever got ill from it, the opposite in fact.

Did she actually text that your parenting is bad and you're selfish? Or is it the way you interpreted it?

Either way, there's no doubt about whether walking to school is better than car regardless of whether. It's a no brainer.

The “selfish” accusation was voiced, rather than written down last week when she arrived unannounced in the morning after I had declined the offer of a lift, and then I insisted on walking anyway as we were halfway out the door.

The message that particularly annoyed me this morning (sent after I said no to a lift yesterday evening and again by text today) was as follows:
“Lots of ice and frost outside. I think some help might have been better for babies and you”.

Lucky your mil did not grow up with me and have to walk to school, two miles away, through the snows of 1963... now that was bloody cold!

The cold crisp air will help wake up your eldest for school, the walk sets them up so they’re not falling asleep in school. Wrap up warm, I loved walking to school with my dad when I was younger, we spoke about all sorts and I really enjoyed it. Unless the kids are getting distressed in the cold I would keep walking. 🙂

At my DC’s nursery they napped in a pram outside!

Wait til they start school and want to wear shorts all winter, a lot of the children do. One of mine did.

And you can’t catch a cold from being outside in the cold.

You're starting the habit of a lifetime for your children so your choice will probably stand them in good stead when private cars are not available to the general public in 50 years time!
I think the issue is grandparents often want to feel like they are being useful/indispensable and if they feel a bit sidelined then they look for any little opportunity to "help" even if it's not what you want.
Perhaps you could think up a task for them that's actually useful and say no thanks on the lifts but if they really want to help out can they do xyz instead that would be super helpful.
Then at least they can scratch the itch without driving you mad!

It is known as friluftsliv. As the scandics say, no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing. As long as you are all wrapped up warmly and have appropriate footwear, I think it's a lovely thing to do.

I never drove my kids to nursery/school whether it was cold/ wet/ roasting hot. They were pushed then walked/ scooted rode the 1 ish miles each way. This was from 6 months for my first and from birth for my second tagging along.

and they are still alive so I am sure you will fine.

I did, however, used to strap a hot water bottle to them on really cold days! Ahhh the memories! 😂

I didn't have a car when mine were small and husband worked away so we walked to school rain snow or sunshine! It's not going to make your children ill, fresh air and exercise will keep them healthy!

I was about to mention that saying, and while it's not 100% true, (as evidenced by some hazardous weather in the past 10 days) clear, frosty weather is when its applicable.

This type of weather is the best on offer for daylight quality. It's fitness. It's fresh air. It's so good for body and mind.

I'm finding an increasing number of people increasingly squeamish about going out in normal range weather conditions. I'm also finding the traffic and parking around school time getting worse! Also children without decent weather-proof coats because they're seldom outside long enough to need them (not a cost issue)

The message that particularly annoyed me this morning (sent after I said no to a lift yesterday evening and again by text today) was as follows:
“Lots of ice and frost outside. I think some help might have been better for babies and you”.

Aargh! Some people are so desperate to "help" they don't realise how much frustration and annoyance they are causing.

Could you try "it's so kind of you to offer help but why don't we agree I will ask when I need a lift to save you asking me each day. It's really important to me that the kids get fresh air and exercise in the mornings and we all have appropriate winter clothing."

I loved taking my babies out in the cold! They were snug and slept like a log when they’d had some fresh air.

Do watch out if you’re walking alongside busy roads as vehckle fumes tend to cling in cold air, and are all at a young child’s head height… just something to think about in winter

Same temp here this morning

All the kids at school running around outside, loving it

As long as you're well dressed it's fine!

It is absolutely better for you to have a walk every day

Fresh air and exercise and all that

Yeah, that is past making a kind offer ajd well into judgmental and interfering!
I'd maybe just keep replying to a link to nhs guidelines on the benefit of outdoors/exercise for young children. But also be tempted to reply quite firmly something like ' I disagree, the walk is good for all of us and no one was cold as we dressed well. I appreciate the offer of help and if I feel the need I won't hesitate to ask, however currently we are very happy with our current arrangement and do not need any help or advice on how to manage our school run'

I would be tempted to reply…what would be more helpful is less badgering from you on this point when I have told you many times that we like to walk and will be walking.

Mil is ridiculous

You're setting such a good example to your kids and getting them into good habits young. Crack on and leave MIL to her odd ideas.

We definitely used to walk that length of time to school or nursery. And sometimes there was proper snow.

I don't remember ever even feeling the cold until I was about 17 years old and probably wearing a stupid coat. Or no coat!

It really is better for you and your children to walk, rather than drive. It's healthier, cheaper, better for the environment and safer for other pedestrians. I loved the conversations I had with my kids, walking to and from nursery and school - we practiced numbers and colours, sang songs and put the world to rights. I didn't drive so we had no choice.

Mum of twins who did their toddler years in much colder winters than here. Just wrap them up and keep the walk. My boys were playing outside everyday in the winter, and it only benefited all of us.

Now they insist on wearing shorts to school in the middle of winter and still love being outside!