To wish DH was not working from home on my day off?

[greatbellofbow]

Rare day off awarded as a goodwill gesture. And DH is working from home. Which means I will spend the day feeling like I’m in the way in my own home!

Does he work in every room of your house? When my partner is working from home I barely notice, just crack on.

I definitely notice even though he’s only in one room. I know others say they don’t notice but I always do.

I know what you mean OP. I’d like to spend it doing a few jobs around the house then chilling on the sofa catching up with Bad Sisters but I’d feel lazy if DH was at home.

He couldn’t care less, it’s me not him.

How is your relationship op? This seems like an odd reaction to have to your husband. Do you generally feel in the way in your own home?

I have got most of it earmarked for housework but it just means I can’t have Christmas carols belting out or anything like that!

Aww put the carols on and tell him to shut the door!

Only when he’s working there. I don’t think it’s odd, it isn’t him so much as the fact as he’s working and that makes my home a different place. If he had the day off too it wouldn’t be the same although then I’d have radio 90s blaring out!

I'm with you OP. I delight at being home alone, it happens so rarely. DH was due to go to the office on my last day off then didn't, I had a little cry about it! (Secretly, in the shower).

I literally never have any time at home alone. I think the last time it happened was 2022!

Change your plan. Who wants to do housework on their day off anyway? Book something outside of the house- cinema, theatre, dinner date with your favourite book...
But yes, I hear you. My partner was working from home at one point and it was horrid. As much as I love him, I just want at least a few hours of alone time.

These threads pop up every so often and are generally split into people who really don't see the issue, and people who also don't like it.

I'm afraid I'm someone who really doesn't see the issue. If I was off work and DH was upstairs in the office wfh, my day would look the same as it would if he was out of the house. Put the Christmas carols on!

Could you not base your day outside of the home... spa. Gym. Cafe shops?

I so get you. This is why my husband is back in the office.

Some people's jobs, for example those who have lots of meetings, turn the whole house into an office. Even if it's not intentional it's still stressful.

I both get it and don't see the issue. I get it because a house to oneself is a glorious thing and it's annoying to be denied it. At the same time I don't see the issue because I don't understand feeling in the way or like I couldn't enjoy my day off anyway.

DP and I have both had days off while the other WFH and the one off work just goes about their relaxation quite happily. Neither of us need total silence all day, but if there's a meeting for an hour it's no bother to keep the volume down temporarily. Any music played has to be stuff we both like (I would veto Xmas carols, sorry). That's about it really?

I think views on this vary because everyone has a different set up. Our home office is on the top floor and we both have busy jobs so actually work when WFH so it's not really very noticeable when one of us downstairs.

But I can see if you work from the kitchen or just downstairs more generally that it's more disruptive. Especially if you WFH in the manner that some mumsnetters do where you basically chill out and treat it as a day off

I completely understand, I love the rare time I am in the house on my own.
Could DH work from a cafe for part of the day just this once?

I get you

You can't do a deep clean and move things because you have to leave their access clear in a way you wouldn't for just you

You can't relax because it's someone's office m, you have to be mindful of the noise (or not but still aware someone else might hear you)

It feels like an invasion into your space

It's nothing to do with your relationship, it's more the idea of work being in the home

And you shouldn't feel you have to be "kicked out" of your own home for it

I get you. I would go out!

I completely get you, currently revelling on my DH actually working in the house for a change (he avoids doing so as much as possible).

But!! Don’t waste a rare bonus day off on housework! Go and do something fun.

God help me if I ever choose to spend a day off work on a deep clean.

It really does need doing or I’d do something else.

Our study / office is downstairs but to be honest it makes no difference.

When else would you do it? I don’t mean to sound critical (although you did of me!) but seriously when else would you do it?

Because if the answer is ‘weekend’ or ‘I wouldn’t, I’d get a cleaner’ we have very different lives!

You can't do a deep clean and move things because you have to leave their access clear in a way you wouldn't for just you

Why? If I'm going to the trouble of deep cleaning the house, DH can climb over some furniture.

Does he work in the living room or kitchen?
My DH often works from home (upstairs in box room) on my 2 days off, to save petrol costs. Toddler and I just carry on as normal really, as if DH doesn't want to hear us he can go and work elsewhere. I would say the same about your DH!

I get you OP
My DH very rarely goes into the office. We have an old house where sound travels even with doors shut.
I can hear him typing when I'm downstairs and can definitely hear all his Teams calls. His job is 'going' to meetings and taking the minutes. So there are a lot of meetings, that can go on for hours, and he needs to be able to hear.
I can't have my music on, housework is noisy - even stacking the dishwasher or the washing machine on a high spin are disruptive.
And yet if I decide to watch some Netflix or do some of my crafting I feel really lazy.
I also feel obliged to let him know if I am going out somewhere - it just feels polite. But then I feel I can't be spontaneous.