Husband doesnt wear his wedding ring

[NavyFox]

Hi, I got married a year ago. My husband always takes his wedding ring off for football, taking a shower, washing the pots. However, he often doesn't put it back on. He can go for days without wearing it until I say something. Last week I said you're not wearing your ring and he put it on. Later that night it was off again and he said its coz he washed the pots.
I am very hurt by it and took my rings and his and put them away in a box. I told him I won't be wearing them and if people ask why I'm not wearing them, I will just tell them the truth. He doesn't care and hasn't asked me about them since. I raised it again the other day and he just looked at me. Again, he hasn't asked about them or offered to wear them. I am really fed up at the moment and to be honest have considered leaving. I've told him so many times it's an important thing to me but he doesn't seem to care.

It's not about a bit of metal, is it. No.

What else is going on that makes you contemplate leaving?

Being able to set it all out can be very helpful.

Why does he need to take it off to wash up?

I understand more from your update OP although I do also think it's ok to be miffed that he isn't wearing his ring if that's important to you.

Perhaps start a thread regarding the actual real issues you refer to and see what the consensus is then.

You’re considering leaving because he doesn’t wear his ring?
Are you very young?

Op, lots of men don’t wear their wedding rings, it doesn’t mean they want to hide the fact they’re married. It’s a piece of jewellery and some people simply don’t like wearing it.

My Dad never wore his wedding ring, ever. He was an engineer and worked with his hands. So pretty much since the day he and my mum married his ring was in a box in his bedside table drawer.

Then he met and married my stepmum years later and again never wore his ring. Now he’s long since retired he does-and he’s still very happily married decades later.

I can understand what other posters are saying. But everyone has a different relationship with rings! My husband and I have both worn our rings every single day since we were married 15 years ago. I've only taken mine off twice - once about a week after the wedding to get it tightened, and once when I got an injury underneath it (even then, it was only off for a few hours!)

I wear mine in the shower, gardening, swimming, washing up, cleaning etc... it never comes off.. DH occasionally takes his off to wash up or garden, but it goes straight back on.

I think we both see our rings as being part of us. When I'm out I often look at or twiddle with my ring and think of my husband.

I love being married, i love my husband, and I love my ring ..

I think maybe your relationship with your ring is similar to mine, but your husband is on a v different page. Which is a shame

So what?
Neither of us do and we have been happily married for 20 years 😂
There are more important things.

Neither me nor my DH wear our wedding rings. He started to take his off because of his work (he'd have to wear gloves otherwise and has dermatitis) but I know he wasn't keen on the ring when it got here from America. There wasn't time or money to replace it, so we used it in the ceremony and now he doesn't wear it. My own ring broke a few months after our wedding, so I got it mended and it kept breaking as the rose gold made it brittle. I never replaced it (I keep meaning to but the money is better spent elsewhere atm) so I wear my engagement ring. We've been married five years.

Your vows are your vows whether you wear a ring or not. ❤️ It's a very personal thing and very romantic to have someone promise to always wear a ring, but he probably feels like he's your husband regardless of whether he wears it or not. Just like you can be married and not change your name.

It may be worth thinking about the things that really matter to you. I think it's a bit much to think about leaving a good man because he keeps forgetting to wear his ring. Genuinely, if he supports you and respects you then nothing else matters.

Have you asked him if he likes wearing a ring? It may be it just isn't very him. My FIL wears his on a chain as a necklace.

I wear mine always, DH doesn't unless we're out as a couple (not just grocery shopping). He finds it uncomfortable and doesn't like wearing jewellery. I really don't care. He looks after me when I'm sick, cooks me lovely meals and is my best friend. Wouldn't trade that for someone who is happy to wear a bit of silver around a finger.

If he doesn't like wearing some jewelry, then he shouldn't have to wear it.

If you have other issues with him, then deal with them, the ring really shouldn't be a problem.

Total over reaction. The whole time we’ve been married my husband has worn his probably about 5 times then it’s back in the box.
taking yours off to prove a point is pretty petty to be fair.

Neither DH nor I have worn a wedding ring since we got married 20 years ago. Don’t like the feeling of anything on my fingers. We’re no less married for it.

I’ve only recently had my ears repierced in my 40s and don’t wear any other jewellery.

Sounds like you don’t trust him and think the ring will brand him as “taken”. You’re not dealing with the root issue.

(ETA - there’s nothing less likely to make me want to wear a ring than being told to.)

DH only wears his if we are going to a wedding and I dig it out of the drawer for him. He knows he is married and doesn't need to wear a ring to remind him of it.

Why would he wear it just at weddings?

This isn't about the ring
A ring doesn't mean he's committed or otherwise
Neither of us wear ours, stopped with all the hand washing during covid now forget to bother as everything I wear it reminds me me fingers, and the rest of me, aren't as slim as they used to be. Doesn't mean anything re: commitment

Counselling for both of you to address all the issues might help.

My DH doesn't wear his, it annoys him, he doesn't wear any jewellery apart from a watch. I really don't care. I often don't wear mine either, particularly when the weather is cold and I'm using hand cream all the time.

We've been married for 22 years and I trust him. Plus, if someone is going to cheat on you, they will. Wedding ring or not.

I take mine off to wash up or whatever and sometimes go days before I remember to put it back on. I think it would be a bit odd if my DH started having a go at me about it, we're still married whether I'm wearing it or not!

You may have other issues but that doesn’t mean that is why he’s not wearing his wedding ring . My husband is not a jewellery wearer , he took his wedding ring off about 2 weeks after the wedding and hasn’t worn it since (35 years) . We are extremely happily married with absolutely no issues . About 10 yrs into our marriage I developed a lot of allergies and skin issues and also had to abandon all jewellery and watches so now our rings just live happily together in a little box . It never bothered me that he didn’t wear a ring .

Op, your post came across as a rather extreme overreaction, so I looked up your username.
First of all, now I understand why you’ve reacted in this way to something so insignificant, but secondly-are you still pregnant or have you had your baby? Either way, you absolutely do not need to be under any stress right now

Over 35yrs married here .I'm not wearing my wedding ring have little bursts of remembering about it and putting it on .Retired nurse so was always washing hands and underneath it got soggy .So left it off and habit just didn't stick tbh. Dh wears his. It's a ring, behaviours matter way way more

This is clearly not really about the ring.
Together 10 years, married one, and thinking of leaving? Did you get married thinking it would ‘change things’ and he’d be ‘more committed’?…. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Stop focusing on the ring and sort out your real problems, together.

My DH never wore his. In the early days it was because his job - too easy to get it caught in mechanics, and eventually when he had a desk job, he didn't wear it because wasn't used to it.

Same as me. I wore mine for a few years but I don't really like rings and took it off more than 30 years ago.

I think you are making this issue so important to you that you are not able to have a frank discussion or listening to what he has to say. You are making a confrontation instead of having a meaningful chat with him.

I'm sorry but you sound about 12, he won't wear his and it's hurt my sensitive immature feelings so to get him back I'm going to take mine off. You need to grow up, it's a ring for lord's sake. I only ever wear mine if I'm going out somewhere "dressed up", I used to take them off to washed the dishes, then take them off to clean out the animals, then take them off to shower, then take them off while riding, then take them off to bake and it got bloody tediouss so now they stay off unless it's a special occasion.

Talk to him about the actual issue that is bothering you which isn’t really the ring. I suspect from what you have said in your update that the lack of the ring is a symbol for a sense of a lack of commitment or buy in to being married and the relationship. If it wasn’t the wedding ring it would be something else.

DH and I rarely wear our wedding rings. He hates anything on his hands, he won’t even wear a watch. I put on weight so I took them off and I haven’t yet tried them back on now I’ve lost some. We’ve been married nearly 25 years.

This isn’t really about a wedding ring is it.

You’ve been with him for a decade, married for one year. Presumably he’s not used to wearing rings. I don’t know. What I did read is that you’re fed up of him after a year of marriage and a decade of being together. At some point you told him this list of stuff that you’re fed up about. Yes? But you married him a year ago anyway. But he’s the bad guy for not wearing a ring🤔. My lovely it’s not the ring.

This cries ownership. If you trust him, it's just an item of clothing.