Husband doesnt wear his wedding ring

[NavyFox]

Hi, I got married a year ago. My husband always takes his wedding ring off for football, taking a shower, washing the pots. However, he often doesn't put it back on. He can go for days without wearing it until I say something. Last week I said you're not wearing your ring and he put it on. Later that night it was off again and he said its coz he washed the pots.
I am very hurt by it and took my rings and his and put them away in a box. I told him I won't be wearing them and if people ask why I'm not wearing them, I will just tell them the truth. He doesn't care and hasn't asked me about them since. I raised it again the other day and he just looked at me. Again, he hasn't asked about them or offered to wear them. I am really fed up at the moment and to be honest have considered leaving. I've told him so many times it's an important thing to me but he doesn't seem to care.

My DH does the same thing, he'll take it off to wash up or have a shower etc, and doesn't put it back on for a week. It's no big deal. I really wouldn't read into that particular thing too much 🤷🏼‍♀️

I don’t wear a ring, haven’t in 10 years, love my husband very much and don’t have eyes for anyone else. YABU.

I think you know that in a happy marriage wearing rings or not is meaningless. You need to stop focusing on that and start thinking about whether the marriage is what you want. Does he bring anything positive to your life?

I love my ring, I hate wearing it. I hate wearing jewellery. My husband has never even mentioned it. He wears his all the time. I wear mine on special occasions. We still love each her exactly the same.

Happy marriages don't care about these things OP. You're focusing on rings when it's not really about the rings. It doesn't sound as if he meets any of your needs.

I don't wear my ring for a few reasons (DH wears his) and it doesn't mean anything at all. I'm a long time, loyal wife. But it does sound like you have wider issues than this.

One of the many ways you can divide us up into "two kinds of people" is those who think wearing a wedding ring is important versus those who don't. You happen to be on opposite sides of that divide. Only you can decide how much of a fuss you're prepared to make about it, but it's not a hill that I personally would choose to die on.

It seems to me that only on MN do married women not wear wedding rings . Every married woman I have ever known ( and I am ancient) has worn one .
that may be an old fashioned view but that’s my experience.

My DH has never had a ring. Married 47 years. He worked for a supermarket when we first met and jewellery was not allowed to be worn for H and S reasons. He thought the ban was pointless, till a few years later he met a worker with a finger missing. He had jumped down from the loading bay, 3 or 4 feet, and heard something tinkle. His ring had caught on something as he jumped, and it stripped the flesh off the bone of his finger. I think, if you are not used to wearing jewellery, it is difficult to get in the habit. Don't worry about it, unless of course, he is pretending to be single when he is out.

😂😂😂

My sh doesn't have one, his choice, doesn't like rings. It's really not a big deal. I know a couple of women who don't wear them either, one has eczema and the other just doesn't like them

YAB massively U.

@Moversnotshakers we didn't even bother with that, there's wording for when there's only one ring available. Men wearing rings is pretty recent, only the last 50-60 years

People don't change when they get married. He didn't wear a ring before, so he probably can't see why it matters so much.

It matters to you though, did you think your relationship would morph into married perfection or you feel more secure? Perhaps unpick what being married after 10 years was supposed to achieve, for both of you.

We've been married 35 years and neither of us wears a wedding ring. I know I'm married and don't feel the need to prove it by wearing a ring. It doesn't mean he's not committed! Obviously, if you say there's real problems going on, you need to address those.

Did you get married because you thought that things would improve?

Point is, your DH is who he is, you know that, you've been together for ten years. If you are unhappy then leave but don't stay with the expectation that he will change.

How else does he demonstrate his commitment to you? Are you happy with this? And how do you reciprocate? Are you secure in your partnership ? It seems a trivial thing to bother about.
(Married 30 years and my husband has never had a ring for practical reasons, our fathers and grandfathers didn’t either).

Mine hasn't worn his for years and even then it was only on special occasions. He's a builder and never wore any jewellery before or after we got married. I never wore mine for years after we had kids as my fingers remained a bit swollen after childbirth (or maybe I just put on weight!) it's never occurred to me or bothered me that he doesn't.

You're massively overreacting and being quite controlling.

My husband and I often don't wear ours. It's no big deal. If he started badgering me about it I would get annoyed. I can wear whatever jewellery I like.

I haven't worn mine since I first was pregnant 20 years ago. Never stopped loving DH an inch.

I know a few women who didn't ever wear a wedding ring. I don't wear mine any more unless I'm leaving the house and sometimes even then.

I remember a jeweller telling me that women should remove their wedding and engagement rings as soon as they get home.

DH wore his for a bit but never liked wearing a ring so hasn't for many years. Wouldn't fit him now anyway!

@NavyFox it sounds like you have much deeper problems than the non-wearing of a ring. You probably need to have a long think about that and how you want to move forward. Is the marriage dead in the water or is it worth trying to save it?

Maybe him not wearing it just signifies to me that there are problems and he isn't committed. There's no communication, he doesn't talk or open up. I've told him I don't feel like I even know him.

Oh, I really relate to this I married a man like this and I felt upset when he didn't wear his ring - for exactly the same reason, it just symbolised everything that was going wrong.

Ten years is a long time, though. Do you feel your relationship was already getting more estranged before you got married?

We’ve been married over 20 years. DH hasn’t worn his wedding ring for years as broke his finger and it no longer fitted - we did have it made slightly bigger but it still didn’t feel comfortable on his finger.
I haven’t worn my actual wedding ring for a while as I can’t wear it to work as it’s not a plain band and I work out a lot with weights so wouldn’t be sensible to wear it.l as could get damaged or I could injure myself!
some are very sentimental about them. I treasure my ring but don’t wear it often but to me it doesn’t mean I feel any differently about our marriage.

i hope you work things out Op

My husband and I are chefs, so we never wear our wedding rings😅 I'll put it on for a special occasion but other than that I never wear it

Me and DH dont really wear ours, but we are happily married and it doesnt really bother either of us.
Do you think your DH wearing his ring will magically make all your marital problems disappear? Because obviously you know that's not the case. Maybe its time to address the actual issue here instead of making such a fuss about something so insignificant. If you were happy then maybe you wouldn't be taking this so seriously. But I do understand that this is probably the icing on the cake.
If youre already having problems after 12 months I assume the problems were already there to begin with and you probably shouldn't have even got married. Time to have a serious think about whether this is really what you want.