Teenager wants to change their name

[Stressedgiraffe]

I don't know what to do. I've said if they still want to do it at 18 they can. My major worry is that what they want to change it to isn't a name it's a noun. I don't want to say the name but think 'table' ' truck' 'monitor'
I worry that they won't be taken seriously when they get a job/career.
They don't want it to stay as a nickname but as their proper name.
What would you do?

To add to my PP, many workplaces now do blind recruitment anyway to prevent accusations of age/ gender/ race/ social class discrimination.

There are many, many people with names which are not aging well. I used to process applicants after they had the job and all the Mollie Maes, Jaydens, Haydens, Braydens, Jaxons, Renesmees and Neveahs are now entering the workforce and will soon be followed by the Archies and Freyas. It's no different to all the Traceys, Marks, Keiths, Pamelas, Clives and Sheilas, they have no trouble being taken seriously but you immediately know what age they are before being introduced.

Uber?

Lorry?

Forklift?

You can change your name without parental consent at 16.

Dear me, so much pearl clutching on this thread. At 16 he can change his name regardless of mum’s opinion. What is the reason he wants to change, OP?

It’s a name, it’s hardly a life altering decision. If he wants he can always change it back.

Also I think your concerns are misplaced. We live in a global society these days where people have all kinds of names; furthermore, there is a trend these days for parents choosing unique/ original names for their children. It’s really not a big deal, and won’t affect interview prospects.

”When you are 18 you can organise yourself to change you name. Start saving now for any associated costs - because you will also need to organise and fund changing your name on your passport, driving licence etc.”

DD knows someone called Blaze.
Blaze was Felicity when they were at primary school. They’re still the same person and I think Blaze is a better name personally. I can’t imagine it will effect their job prospects in the great scheme of things

Relevance?

I am wondering what your reaction was when you son or daughter came up one day and asked you to call him or her "tractor" or "truck".
Did you simply say "no, I am not calling you that because that is utterly stupid" ?
Maybe that would have sufficed.

DD legally changed her surname to mine on her 16th birthday by Deed Poll, so it can be done. All her GCSE's were taken in her new name and she is changing it on all medical records, passport etc as it is now her legal name.

Obviously you don't need to tell your DC this or pay for it.... the circumstances are slightly different if they want to be called "tractor" .

SUV?

I think you're over thinking this. I generally assume a person with a strange name (if I ever find a name stranger) had it chosen by their parents so why would I hold it against them? And many places redact names etc during the hiring process to avoid unconscious bias (generally racial/cultural but I guess in 2024 and beyond, for "strange" names). It's not that serious, except assuming your feeling insulted they no longer want to use the name you chose for them, but don't dress it up as concerns about them getting a job. Your feelings are a valid discussion to have with them, the job thing is a nonsense

Just that it's not that bad. As opposed to something like Hat which would be silly.

It was an example ffs.

I know someone who wanted to do this, he used the name as a nickname but eventually as an adult he made it official. That seemed a reasonable compromise but I can see the issue with things like GCSE certificates.

It's Tank.
Which isn't as silly as Hat i guess.

:-). You are calling your son or daughter 'they' already.

People can call themselves what they like. I wanted to change my name as a child and a teenager, it's normal to feel like that.

I'd like to change mine now and disappear where no-one could find me! Some hopes of that but an old lady can dream!

Sixteen-year-olds can do both in Scotland! Not saying it's a good idea, but they can do it.

Knickers McGee has a ring to it also😁

It sounds like U2 are living on The Edge.

I would do what you have done. For stuff like passports and so on then I believe it needs paperwork but provided that you don't do it with intent to defraud, you can call yourself whatever you like.

Not as silly as Hat, but still rather ridiculous! I completely get where you're coming from and I wouldn't be having it either. Do you have any idea what influenced the name choice? Or them changing their name at all?

It’s a name, it’s hardly a life altering decision. If he wants he can always change it back.

It can be a major PITA in future life though if you ever have to account for every name change in your life since birth. Which might not occur very often for most people, but will happen whenever:

• You apply for a first passport
• You apply for some types of visa or visa waiver (which will be required for pretty much everywhere outside the UK very soon)
• You apply for DBS or EDBS for a job that requires it (teaching, anything involving working with children)
• You apply for a job with security vetting or a background check
• You apply for a marriage licence
• etc.

Call them what they want to be called at the moment but don’t allow a legal name change until 18, on the basis that binding decisions should be made by adults.

They will change their mind or they won’t, but it’s better to preserve the relationship either way by respecting their decision and not making a big deal of it.

Sock? Such an interesting thing to choose to call oneself. Windsock. Sock it to 'em. Sock puppet.

Considering changing my name to frock now. Frock it to 'em?
Happy days. 😂
Crinoline. Bustier. Codpiece. Gown. Robe. Toga. Breeches. Ooooo I like how many possible words there are, one could get quite Dickensian or Shakespearean in tone. Mac! Mac MacIntosh, the detective. Turban Jones, famous exotic dancer.

I hope Sock leads a suitably fascinating life!

DD changed her name unofficially when she was 13. She is determind to change it offical but we came up with a compromise that she has to wait until she is 18 and therefore all documentation incl. GCSEs and A-Level are not in her preferred one.

Current plan is to change it at the end of the first year of uni so the uni papers are then showing her new one. And in the end of the day for the overall future this is what counts.

But - she chose a "normal" name, no idea exactly why this one specifically, she just said it called to her. Fair enough.

One of her friends is now called Blue instead of Sadie. It didn't seem to cause issues with applying at nursery for a early childhood degree.