Teenager wants to change their name

[Stressedgiraffe]

I don't know what to do. I've said if they still want to do it at 18 they can. My major worry is that what they want to change it to isn't a name it's a noun. I don't want to say the name but think 'table' ' truck' 'monitor'
I worry that they won't be taken seriously when they get a job/career.
They don't want it to stay as a nickname but as their proper name.
What would you do?

Good to know people think it's too stupid.
I'm going to push for 18 and they can organise any name changes themselves.

If you do end up having to do it, it's not that hard. We messed up naming my DS and had to change his name in a rush before he started reception. It's just downloading a form from the internet and getting a neighbour to sign as a witness. That's the whole job done.

Good luck there. It sounds complicated and you sound so sensible and calm about it all.

Can they make it an official Middle name, then just go by that?

most application forms I’ve seen have a preferred name section…….

They can do it now anyway

I would assume Tank was a name in Dutch or Danish or some other language I don't know. Or if i heard it, i would think it was Thank, short for Thankful or something like that. Or possibly a version of Dan.
Not necessarily the vibe she's going for.

Does he/ she/ they/ them have the body to go with being known as Tank . Short and skinny isn't really going to work

Not the body to go with it. Short v skinny. Attitude perhaps.

😂😂😂 reminds me of my toddler being very unhappy that Laurie, who came to visit, didn’t have wheels!

My neighbor’s son is nicknamed Disel. I think it’s a cool name. He coaches football so it works well.

They could add it as a middle name if they want it on their school records. I agree they may really come to regret it when they are older. Like the bicep tattoo I thought I wanted at 16 cos a Spice Girl had it.... what a massive mistake that would have been!

There is lots of literature on "the teenage brain" - that it is definitely in a state of development, shall we call it? So I would find some (Mumsnetters, suggestions please), read up, let them read and reflect..
Perhaps it was a mistake to go along with calling them that one at home for the last 3 years?

I don’t think you need to worry. Lots of people are called many different things nowadays and it is fine. In my role I do a lot of recruitment. Our HR team anonymise the cvs/ job applications before they pass them across for shortlisting. So we don’t see anything like names or dates of birth or anything identifiable. I believe this is standard in a lot of places so try not to worry overly.

My child changed their name when they were 16 as here in Scotland it is legally possible. They have a new birth certificate/passport and all other legal documents in new name. At first I found it hard calling them by new name but I was also given the opportunity to choose a middle name for them.
This was all done because they also changed gender. It has now been 4 years and feels as though they have always been known by this name.
If your teen is identifying as non binary and wishes to have a gender neutral name, perhaps try having a discussion about choosing a name that is gender neutral but also seen as a noun such as Cooper, Harper, Sage. Being supportive of your child rather than trying to fight this with them, will work out for the better. Its an adjustment for everyone and not easy at first but it does get easier.

That would be because everyone else is acting the "dick".
A young person coming out and having the courage to tell people they don't identify as the gender they were assigned at birth due to their genitalia is a big thing.
Its big for them to get their own head around and for their family & friends.
I am speaking from experience as my youngest has been through this.
I totally struggled with it at first as it's not something I had any experience of. There is a big age gap between my eldest 2 children and my youngest. I was hitting 40 with my youngest who is now 20 and me 60. I watched as they struggled with their birth gender and I struggled to try and understand what they were going through. I thought at first it was a fad, they were jumping on the bandwagon along with celebrities and others at High School but it never shifted.
They officially changed their name when they started 5th year in High School at age 16 along with their gender identity. I was worried sick that they would come up against opposition from school and ridicule from other pupils but I couldn't have been more wrong.
I have watched my youngest turn into a confident young 20yr old adult who is now in their 3rd year at University and so much happier within themself. I have addressed my own prejudices and ignorance about transgenderism and have learnt to become much less judgemental.
My youngest does appreciate that not everyone will understand the journey they have undertaken for the rest of their life but all they ask is that they be treated with the same respect as anyone else and not to be ridiculed or the butt of peoples jokes.
My child deserves that and has earned it. They are a law abiding, caring, hardworking young adult who I am so proud of.

Is she non binary? Is that why you are referring to her as they?. I think young women are very threatened by the online pornography and the risks of being female today which seem greater than they have ever been with few cultural norms in place to protect them. It is a very definite rejection of sexual stereotypes and I just hope she can get through this without harming herself. Tell her you understand and she is as strong as a tank. And give her a hug.

I just think of Tommy Tank = Wank

I'd definitely wait til she is 18