Teenager wants to change their name

[Stressedgiraffe]

I don't know what to do. I've said if they still want to do it at 18 they can. My major worry is that what they want to change it to isn't a name it's a noun. I don't want to say the name but think 'table' ' truck' 'monitor'
I worry that they won't be taken seriously when they get a job/career.
They don't want it to stay as a nickname but as their proper name.
What would you do?

Yes, but not here. We don't really have a culture of making good decisions at a young age here.

Can they afford all those new documents themselves? Because I wouldn’t be parting with money for that nonsense.

My DD goes by a different name with her friends and at college. Within the family she is still known by the name that she was given when she was born and that remains her legal name. She is now over 18, but her passport, driver's licence, bank and savings accounts, investments, etc are all in her legal name. If she wants to change her name legally, she can now, of course. But she will have to sort it out for herself and pay for it where there is a cost.

It's all very easy to get a 'preferred' name put on the college database. Making the change formally and legally is a bit more involved and requires time and effort. I suspect that her legal name will not be changing.

The 'chosen' name has evolved, by the way. It's slightly different now than when she was 16.

You've told him he can change it when he's 18. If he's still determined at that age and undertakes the hassle himself, it's sort of on him.

You can have a known as name, college will respect that, don't need to officially change. Yes exam certificates, drivers licence etc are in formal name but everything else can use the known as - gives options

Where is "here"? You realise the Internet is worldwide?

@MaroonyBalloony

All stuck to it for different lengths of time, I think only one persists - named for an item of clothing.

Was it Cardi?

Or am I showing my age? 😂

A bit more background is required.
Does the name have any connection with a hobby of his or her? Like, does he or she like painting and like being called "brush" ?
Does anyone in the household use this nickname or is it just you? What about the father and siblings? Friends? Other relatives?
The more people are using it, the harder it is for you to stop using it for now.

Stop trying because you have made this rod for your own back.
Call them only by their name and truck no nonsense.

A 16 yo can change their name by deed poll without the consent of a parent or anyone else, just FYI.

Yes this. And there's no money involved.

Id be trying to convince them to wait another couple of years at least. But technically you can't stop them.

E-Scooter?

In the uk? Your child can legally change their name at 16.

It's easy enough to change your name and change it back. I'd let them take the responsibility for this - I wouldn't get involved in paying for it - updating passports, informing school etc.

Depends on the noun.

Pepper, for example, isn't too bad. Neither is River. Calculator is a bit risky. Tadpole will be sniggered at and Onion openly mocked. We need to know. At least give us a clue...

Thanks for sharing this. I was unaware.
In that case, I stand corrected and I would encourage him or her to go ahead and to make the change as soon as possible.
If it is a stupid name, he or she will get their fair share of mocking as teenagers are quite brutal with this kind of nonsense. Maybe its for the best and he or she will learn the lesson the hard way.

I would let them do it, let them see how it pans out. Let them see if people remember to use it, whether people laugh, whether people are indifferent. They can always change it back if it does not work out the way they think it will

You got it in your first guess!

I would explain to him the long-term benefits of using his chosen name in his social and social media life, and his legal given name in his professional life and career.

He can be Diesel Smith on social media, and as long as he's reasonably careful no employer is going to make an obvious connection to his social life, opinions, and banter.

In the meantime, Mark Smith has a passport, driving licence, LinkedIn profile, etc. and chooses to answer to either Mark or Diesel depending on the situation.

FWIW I have two very different names, my legal given name that I use for work, family, etc. and another one that I use on social media that dates back 20+ years. I've been told that prospective employers/clients have found me "quite boring" online. Socially it's a 50:50 split as to which name people know me as.

@MagpiePi

I am assuming that because school and doctors are involved and that you are calling them they/them in your posts, then this also has something to do with magical gender woo, and so of course HAS to be taken seriously. 🙄

I just read it to mean school and doctors are using the name; as has OP been for 3 years.

I'd be wary of having a different name on any official documents. My eldest has changed their name twice since 14. They are now at Uni and all their acceptance documents etc are in their preferred name.

Legally (like on their driving licence and electoral role etc) they are still their birth name.
I recently tried to apply for single person discount on council tax as they are still full time student although over 18. However I couldn't prove they were a student as all student docs are in their preferred name. It's a bit of a mine field. Will be same issue for things like GCSE certificates. if they decide to change their name again in the future - it will be very difficult to prove those GCSE's are theirs.

IMO Schools are to flippant with allowing pupils to change names on things like GCSE certificates without considering the implications later on.

Assert your authority. Use their actual name. You’re the parent, you have that special position so take it. Let their friends call them whatever they want.

Apologies @heldinadream this was a reply to you.

Diesel's just another surname-as-a-firstname thing. Like Jackson, Tyler, Walker etc.

Lorry?

There are so many wild and wonderful names these days that I don’t think it would hold them back professionally.
I know of a medical professional named after a chocolate bar and someone in the police force with a name that is a monarch title.

Is your surname Van, and your child wants to change their name to Karen?