Teenager wants to change their name

[Stressedgiraffe]

I don't know what to do. I've said if they still want to do it at 18 they can. My major worry is that what they want to change it to isn't a name it's a noun. I don't want to say the name but think 'table' ' truck' 'monitor'
I worry that they won't be taken seriously when they get a job/career.
They don't want it to stay as a nickname but as their proper name.
What would you do?

I'm sorry but Tank is horrible. It suggests to me violence, destruction. Someone who steamrollers their way through life not caring who or what they crush in the process. It makes me visualise Panzers rolling through Poland in 1939. A vulnerable student in Tianenmen Square.

It can also be misheard for a bunch of other common nouns like bank, rank, lank, dank, sank. Wank. Your DC will spend precious hours spelling it out to people in crowded rooms.

Use it if she wants for as long as her phase lasts but don't let it be on any official documentation, would be my suggestion.

I haven't read the full thread, but a quick scan of the first page suggests that a lot of posters think your child needs to be 18 before they can change their name without needing consent. This is wrong. If your child is 16, they are entitled to change their name to whatever they want. They don't need your consent or anyone else's. You can try to persuade your child that the name is inappropriate or will cause problems for them when they are older, but you cannot stop them changing their name.

Is this your DC who is trans and had school troubles around alleged bullying @Stressedgiraffe ? If so, not entirely sure “Tank” is a good option, honestly. Although you’ve been using it for three years already.

My possibly controversial opinion is that changing a “normal” name to something arguably ridiculous is more attention seeking than anything. If it’s a family nickname, let it stand as that and they can tell mates that’s how they like to be called. See how it fits a few years on.

If a trans kid wanted to be known as a name relating to their new gender, or something androgynous like Kit, or Charlie even, I would understand that better.

But regardless, I’d take heed of what a PP said about the pain in the arse form filling to come if something is done officially.

Well they can be as silly as the law allows them to be. You don't have to help them in any way.

Yes though I don't believe that they are trans. Their birthday gifts were lolita dresses. I'm going with confused.
I have no objection to a nickname but not for official stuff.

Things are so different these days and I wonder how much of it is because as the generations get less strict, the craziness seems to increase.
If either of my two decided they wanted to be called anything other than their names (both have regular names, not random names like celebrities name their kids)
If on the other hand the child's name was something bizarre in comparison and they were named Rainbow Glitter Jones or something, they wanted a name a little less different so their CV or application letter seemed less like a character from my little pony or care bears and more like a person, then in that case the name change is acceptable. But being referred to as an object, "Come here Ottoman!" Or "Have you finished your homework Wheelbarrow?" I would have to draw the line and say, "if you want to have a nickname among friends, fair enough, but you are not changing your name to wheelbarrow. End of discussion. I will not have my will saying 'all of my gardening equipment and tools I leave to wheelbarrow'!"

I knew an Aragorn once. He's fine (a mutual friend told me recently).

GCSEs in that name might cause problems later on.

I had a pupil - let's say "Cynthia" who wanted to be a boy called "John". The regulations in Scotland are a bit different, so I did say to them that though they were called John by their pals at school, they'd need a letter from their parents if they wanted their SQA results to be for John.

Thank goodness they decided not to do that. Two years later, they were back to being Cynthia.

I actually had a colleague who answered to Chisel. He'd acquired the nickname because people had difficulty pronouncing his surname.

(It was one of more difficult to pronounce Slavic names. My own maiden name was Slavic, but it was never mangled as much as his.)

Jimberlorry?

I’d interview them whatever their name is. Bit shortsighted (and prejudiced) to dismiss someone because of a name. But I do know someone called Digger (nickname but no-one remembers his actual name).

My late husband's official name was different from the name he went by....Think "Edward" for official name and "Bob" for unofficial name. He never bothered to change his name officially - people were just told what he went by.

Apparently, at school and at uni, teachers and lecturers would tend to call him something like "Ed" or "Eddie". He just answered to it, though his pals all called him "Bobby".

So far as we could ascertain, the reason was that he was subject to a kinship adoption as a baby. We think that his birth mum had called him "Bobby" - what he was known as in infancy - but "Edward" was a family name which his grandfather had insisted upon for the birth certificate. (His grandparents brought him up.)

It didn't cause him too much difficulty. When we got married, the minister asked which name he wanted in the service. I expected him to go for "Bob", but he plumped for "Edward". (That's why I used "Edward" on his memorial stone in the end.)

A small woman called Tank is going to be called Tankini eventually

I have a different view as I changed my first and surname from my deadbeat dads name.

My father filled out my birth certificate and the narcissist made me a junior (think Alex Smith & Alexa Smith) which had never been the plan. I have gone by the name I was suppose to be called all along (so by Kat Jones instead of Alexa Smith), no one in real life has ever called me by his name. However it was always defaulted to for forms, legal stuff, school or medical stuff.

I wanted to change it all my life but wasn't allowed too until 18.

I finally did after I turned 18 but it was delayed didn't officially come through before I had my oldest child and I wasn't allowed to delay registering him.

His birth certificate literally has a name I fucking despise on it, that isn't my name and isn't on anything else (so does not match my passport, drivers license, bank cards etc...), that I have never even gone by... result being it looks like I'm not his mother because my details don't match his birth certificate.

Only way to change it is to have a sex change.

By 18+ you are much more likely to have lifelong documents under that name and its much harder or impossible to change them. It is why lots of women with published career (writers, researchers etc...) or academic certificates (Dr. etc...) choose not to change their names after marriage because it can cause issues with things lining up.

A toddler wanting to be called 'sparkle-fairy' you can laugh off but a child that has gone by a name consistently for years and is old enough to understand the process they likely aren't 'playing' around. Identity is a big thing and your name should be a reflection of you not whoever named you.

What is it to do with the GP? Flat no to GCSEs in a stupid name.

So maybe not a strange name after all. 😂

Does anyone else love the episode of the Regular Show where Rigby changes his name to "Trashboat"? It's one of my favourites

I also guessed Tank, there aren't that many vehicles that really work as names and there are a few Tanks in films (The Matrix), not to mention fighting dog names

That's great, but would most employers be as broad minded as you? That would be my fear if this were my child.

Well, nowhere in the opening post did the OP mention it was a vehicle, she just provided three example nouns and one of them happened to be a vehicle.
It is a remarkable how quickly the other poster guessed the name of OP's daughter.

Couldn't help thinking of this thread when we saw this.

https://mastodon.social/@regehr/113556072677400173

To be honest, Tank was a name I’d already considered as OK reading the thread before you mentioned it.
I wouldn’t call myself Tank if I looked like a 5’ tall girly girl, they’re just asking for immature people giggling at them. But they can always change it again and it’s at least a real name (not like Table),
I wouldn’t facilitate the change by paying for it though. That’s asking for recriminations years from now.

Put your foot down

16 year olds are not mature enough to make decisions like this

Tank my arse

Tank also means to fail, as in ' The actor knew the film would tank at the box office' so probably not giving people the best subconscious vibes.