Shoes on around the house

[ByGentleFatball]

So another poster said that shoes on vs shoes off in the house isn't an issue that people feel strongly about. Not my experience at all!

When my partner took me to his parent's house, he told me at the door to take off my shoes and he did the same. I'd never been in a shoes off home before that.

One day, much later on, his mum was talking about how disrespectful someone was for just walking in her house with shoes on and how it was her looking down on them.

I explained that I never would have done it either if partner didn't say so as I wasn't raised doing it. Her other kids piped up and said they reminded all their friends to do it if they knew they didn't at their own house or wasn't sure.

Since then, I've seen that some people do feel really strongly about it for respect and/or hygiene reasons. Some equally defend not doing it, and not visiting homes who have that rule.

Are you a shoes on or shoes off home? Have you experienced it as a divisive subject?

Not unreasonable: I know people feel strongly either way

Unreasonable: This isn't an issue anyone really cares about.

It's an issue people feel rather ridiculously passionate about on MN,

there are many, many, many threads where posters can't just accept that people are different and many posters are quite rigid in their views and lack the ability to see that other folk are different.

My parents's house was always shoes off. My house is shoes off unless you need to pop back in for something after your shoes are already on.

Since I got a dog, I've realised the crap that could get stuck on your shoes. When my dog poos, sometimes there's a residue left on the floor that I can't pick up. Anyone could stand in it and not notice.

Really? Another poster said it wasn't a debate they'd come across.

Done to absolute death on MN, then dug up and done again and again.

Take them off or leave them on in my house. I really couldn't care less.

I literally only posted it because someone said they'd never come across any debate. I am aware of it being a wider internerlt debate and was wondering if it really missed here.

Having my shoes on in the streets dodging dog poo, wee, vomit, just general dirt, I can't imagine feeling relaxed if I have them on in the house. I would never force anyone to remove their shoes as I'm too polite but I am quietly aghast when I see people with their shoes on inside in TV dramas. I don't think I have experienced a shoes-on household IRL.

Also, we have a dog so it's not like we're super clean!

Are you new to MN? I suggest you do a search for the millions of threads about shoes off or on.

Unless you already knew that and are a bit bored.

We are a shoes off household for family members.
I don't expect guests to take their shoes off. However, I always offer to take my own shoes off if I am the guest.

Yes new.

Carpets cost thousands to replace and get fitted and cost money and time to clean. Shoes also have millions of bacteria that you’re trekked in from outside. It is disrespectful to wear shoes in someone’s lovely house.

@ByGentleFatball You clearly live in a very dry and clean part of the country.

I don't ask guests to remove shoes, they just do because it is the done thing around here (edge of Pennines where it rains a lot).

What ever you normally do it is ALWAYS polite to ask the host whether they want you to remove your shoes. Quite frankly, I'm surprised that you don't already know that.

I think people should be told in advance when you invite them.

It’s cold.

I’d hate to sit with frozen feet. I’d rather not go.

It's a widely contentious issue, I would always offer to take shoes off if visiting someone's home, I don't make people do it at mine because I have wooden floors and sweep/clean them twice a day anyway.

I couldn't care less either way (and have lots of animals so floors are never going to be pristine).

This is an old MN chestnut, next only to "how often do you wash your towels?" and "do you take your kids with you when paying for petrol?"

I just don't get why you'd risk tracking in mud, stones, grass and poo. But then I have always lived in carpeted houses.

I’d hate to sit with frozen feet. I’d rather not go.

We went to a friend's house at the weekend for dinner and took our slippers with us. This is normal in my circles. To be fair it was pissing down and we had very wet and muddy footwear, and it would have been rude and inconsiderate to walk into the house wearing our wet and muddy boots.

The only people I know IRL who care about shoes in the house are my parents - well, my dad. Everyone else is happy for you to just wipe your feet and come in.

Part of my job is going in/out of people's homes all day and I have only once been asked to remove my shoes.

Welcome to Mumsnet OP! You're allowed to ask a question that's been asked before :)

We're a shoes on/don't care household.

My mum is shoes off upstairs where she has carpet. DP family all leave shoes on all over their homes.

I totally get that outdoors can be gross but I just don't connect that to any risk. I don't lie on the floor or eat off it (much).

I'm not from the UK and honestly don't remember it being a thing growing up but I live in London and always offer to take shoes off when visiting someone.

I hope the shoes off people are also not the no heating on and windows open even if it's below freezing outside people. My feet are cold with the heating on just now.

Shoes off wasn't something I grew up with but when I think of how much muck gets on shoes it's only logical Ty o take them off

Get slippers if your feet get cold

Im a shoes off in my house person, now. But I didn't grow up with that rule. I'm pretty laid back about it though and unless somebody is tracking enormous amounts of mud or snow through the house I'm fairly happy to let them carry on and just clean the floor later. I have a dog so if I was too precious about the floor I'd have given myself a hernia by now. I would never ask a tradesperson etc to remove shoes or expect them to.

I used to live on a farm and the entire downstairs was tiled because I was in and out so much that I didn't always have time to take boots off. Pop in Tu grab horse tack, pop in to get medicine from the fridge for one of the animals, pop in to make sure the fire isn't about to go out before getting back outside etc. I would have lost hundreds of hours to taking shoes on and off if I had to stop each time. I didn't wear shoes upstairs though.

I was brought up in a shoes-off household, and to be honest, despite having friends of all different cultures and having lived in different places within the UK, I’ve never met anyone from a shoes-on household. I’ve met people who don’t absolutely always take their shoes off at the door, but never experienced anyone who sits and relaxes on the sofa/goes into the bedroom wearing their shoes. I’ve only heard about these people on mumsnet!

On a personal level, I can’t think of anything worse than walking on the pavement outside in towns/cities/villages where there are traces of animal muck, vomit, drugs, urine, various food and drink etc. and then just strolling all over my house where me and my family live! We clean our floors regularly but I can’t see how anyone can possibly do it often enough so that a trace from the bottom of your shoe doesn’t make its way onto other surface areas.

edit - I wouldn’t demand guests take shoes off, I would clean up specifically after them when they’d left. Also can’t think of anything worse than chilling in my dressing gown with shoes on!

I’m in Ireland and the only people who remove their shoes when in our house are my partner’s English daughters.

Heating on and carpets here, but I wouldn't ask a guest to remove shoes anyway. Although, I would raise an eyebrow if you walked in with wet and muddy feet and make you feel guilty at making a mess of my carpet