Shoes on around the house

[ByGentleFatball]

So another poster said that shoes on vs shoes off in the house isn't an issue that people feel strongly about. Not my experience at all!

When my partner took me to his parent's house, he told me at the door to take off my shoes and he did the same. I'd never been in a shoes off home before that.

One day, much later on, his mum was talking about how disrespectful someone was for just walking in her house with shoes on and how it was her looking down on them.

I explained that I never would have done it either if partner didn't say so as I wasn't raised doing it. Her other kids piped up and said they reminded all their friends to do it if they knew they didn't at their own house or wasn't sure.

Since then, I've seen that some people do feel really strongly about it for respect and/or hygiene reasons. Some equally defend not doing it, and not visiting homes who have that rule.

Are you a shoes on or shoes off home? Have you experienced it as a divisive subject?

Not unreasonable: I know people feel strongly either way

Unreasonable: This isn't an issue anyone really cares about.

Ironic when you've just become far more worked up about it than anyone else on the thread. 😂 Perhaps you ought to take your own advice?!

I don't care what other people do in their homes but definitely no shoes in my house.

Mumsnet posters who won't allow outdoor shoes in their house, then say they wear crocs as slippers so they can take the bins out/turn the compost heap/pick up the dog poo.

I do a lot of home visits for work. I always shoe off unless explicitly told not to by the homeowner. I’m sure that was something I was told early on to do at work as in some cultures shoes on is very offensive. Generally if you start to take your shoes off the minute you get through the door home owner will either appreciate it or say ‘don’t worry about that…’ I figure there’s nothing to lose by taking them off, although I did occasionally have a visit where the house was filthy so would make a note and keep them on the next time I visited!

Wait, my family are Scandinavian, not sure if these things are related.

I don't wear crocs as slippers and I do genuinely carry shoes to the back door if I need to put the bin out

Brought up that it was ok to wear shoes indoors, used to allow them indoors as an adult in own home(s), since getting new carpets we're now firmly shoes off (except for tradespeople, but I do point out the newish carpets and provide plenty mats/offcuts to wipe feet on!
Each to their own but I do wish we'd gone shoes off sooner.

Couldn’t have put it better.

It very rude not to remove your shoes

We have hard floor in the hallway and kitchen (front door, through to kitchen then back door) so here people can leave shoes on - we all have slippers or sliders (hate slippers personally 🤢) to wear. Carpeted areas are living room, bedrooms and stairs/landing; these are shoe free/off BUT given some traders (boiler upstairs) I'm more relaxed if a dry day - most put shoe covers on if raining and ask if dry. We had a suprise visitor recently who had walked through to lounge with (albeit, what looked like new shoes from the box, so less twitchy 🙊) shoes on before could say anything - living room door is just off from front door/entrance. I admit, I was sat with SOCKS ON occasionally glancing at their shoes in judgement having not asked and I, for not mentioning 🙈 one friend keeps a pair of socks in their bag incase wearing barefoot shoes 🤭 I approve, all feet are ick 🤣🤣🤣

Hard floor, shoes on; carpet, shoes off

It didn’t bother me if people wanted to keep shoes on, I did. However I now have pale carpets so prefer shoes off, or at least make sure they are clean

never had anyone complain about taking shoes off or covering them

I’m in the shoes on camp - partly a sensory issue, and partly because of inattentive adhd I’d end up outside in slippers anyway.

My dc are shoes off since lockdown when they went feral. Sensory reasons more tgan anything.

I will take my shoes off if it’s pointed out - it just wouldn't occur to me though. And it feels very awkward. The worst thing is when people insist on loaning slippers - shoe sharing is grim but they were grossed out by potential sock and feet germs (I never went back)

It wasn't a big deal in the 60s and 70s. It has become a bigger deal over the years.

The DC's friends used to take their shoes off and it was expected but they tended to put their feet on the furniture!

We wear slippers inside and I have clogs for the garden for when I do the bins, etc.

Most workmen nowadays either take their shoes off or wear shoe covers.

If we have supper with friends we all tend to take our slippers nowadays. If there's a party, it's shoes on.

I don't have particularly strong feelings.

This post should open all shoes off on threads.
You just can't argue with this.
If you walk outside you will get dog food pooh residual on your shoes at some point.
(And your carpets get dirty)

Always shoes off inside for us

Yes exactly
Very expensive
And with that in mind I very politely ask guests to remove their shoes - no one minds
My neighbour brings her slippers

We are shoes off but only upstairs. I wouldn't ask guests to take their shoes off though.

Shoes off definitely and I do the same to others

Shoes off house here; carpets are ivory so would last about a day with shoes on. Also, I guess it is a cultural thing, so grew up in a shoes off house.

This is what I mean... We're a firmly shoes off household and if someone like your beloved pa takes a wander round our house in his muddy shoes, where does that leave us with my little girl who potters round in her bare feet and socks, clambering on and off the nice clean sofa?

We therefore just always ask guests to remove their shoes if they don't offer and they can stay in the garden if they don't want to 😅 (I'm not a total monster btw, a very elderly friend visited recently and it is an ordeal for her to take her shoes off so we didn't ask).

Yes, same. Only my brother and wife do this because she is Polish and he has picked up the habit from her. To be honest, I’d prefer if they left them on in my house but I never say this.

Thanks for all the replies. I thought it was something that people talk about. I will say that I notice the wear on other people's carpets from shoes now. Also when I hoover at my friend's "shoes on" house, I notice how much quicker the canister fills. We have matching Sharks so it's easy to compare. She can't get her kids to change though.

Where I live the majority of people have carpeted houses, and have had for my entire life. I'm 65 and have only once or twice ever been asked to take my shoes off before entering a house. Even the most house proud of my acquaintances wear shoes inside.

We’re a shoes off and slippers on family and guests always notice this and take their shoes off, even though we never ask them to, and in fact always say they should feel free to leave their shoes on when they’re downstairs. We have hard floors throughout the downstairs, and we want guests to feel comfortable. We do ask children on playdates not to go upstairs in their shoes because it’s carpeted throughout upstairs, though.

I don't get this obssesssion with "nice carpets". Carpets are normal here and have been for as long as I can remember, and people don't obsess about them the way Brits seem to do.

Just because I take my shoes off at home doesn't mean I expect visitors to. I don't sit with my shoes on all day every day.

We have a shoes off policy for us and our family but I wouldn't expect friends or distant family to remove them.