Shoes on around the house

[ByGentleFatball]

So another poster said that shoes on vs shoes off in the house isn't an issue that people feel strongly about. Not my experience at all!

When my partner took me to his parent's house, he told me at the door to take off my shoes and he did the same. I'd never been in a shoes off home before that.

One day, much later on, his mum was talking about how disrespectful someone was for just walking in her house with shoes on and how it was her looking down on them.

I explained that I never would have done it either if partner didn't say so as I wasn't raised doing it. Her other kids piped up and said they reminded all their friends to do it if they knew they didn't at their own house or wasn't sure.

Since then, I've seen that some people do feel really strongly about it for respect and/or hygiene reasons. Some equally defend not doing it, and not visiting homes who have that rule.

Are you a shoes on or shoes off home? Have you experienced it as a divisive subject?

Not unreasonable: I know people feel strongly either way

Unreasonable: This isn't an issue anyone really cares about.

Don't most people wear slippers in their own homes anyway? I don't know anyone who doesn't.

Generally I'm the same. Only I moved recently from London to Frome where it's more muddy. I'm more 'shoes off' than I was, but only if shoes are visibly muddy. The house has beige carpets-not my choice at all but currently we're in rented so have no say. Once we've bought we'll be back to hard floors and not so bothered!

My dog never removes her shoes though 😂

I take my shoes off at the door out of habit but if I forgot something and walked through in them it would also be fine. Happy to take them off when at other peoples house. I’d feel very uncomfortable leaving them on if someone had a fairly new carpet

I always ask if I go into someone's house if they would like me to take my shoes off.
I dont care in my house if people have shoes on or off. I clean the floors and don't eat off them.

A lot of it is cultural, isn't it? I grew up in a country where it's either snowing or raining outside and if everyone wore shoes indoors, we would have to mop daily or replace carpets every week. Everyone is taking their shoes off.
If you live in a flat, it makes sense to take shoes off. Wearing outdoor shoes indoors is just not comfortable. You can't sit on a sofa with your feet up etc.
If you live in a country cottage, it makes more sense to wear shoes as you are more likely to be in and out of your cellar, pantry, garage, garden, shed etc.
I generally prefer (insist) shoes off for people who live in the house but comfortable for workers and guests to keep their shoes on. They are not likely to pop round to my bedroom where I really want to be able to walk barefoot. However, if we were in Japan, India or Middle East, wearing shoes indoors would be seen as extremely disrespectful.
But to answer your question, people do feel very strongly about it. They are just not likely to bring it up in a real life.

I'm a shoes can stay on in the living area (hard floor I can steam mop) not in the carpeted bedroom.

What irritates me is that I don't like wearing shoes, and some friends are offended if I want to take them off when I go to their (carpeted) house.

MIL likes us to take off our shoes. This despite one of her dog's favourite pastimes being to scoot its shitty arse across the rug. I have had to point out brown streaks and lumps of shit encrusted grass a few times. So that's one house I would dearly love to keep my shoes ON😬😬

People that feel strongly enough to believe it's a show of disrespect, have very little in their lives to worry about.

If someone wearing shoes is walking in their nice home and on their nice carpets...
BOO FUCKING HOO.
there's people not far from you right now starving, that are homeless, that have just been told they have cancer.

Grow the fuck up.

Why are you so angry?

Shoes on for me.
Ive always had multiple dogs and cats around and stepping in a pile of cold animal sick in just your socks is rather unpleasant (even worse if somebody had the squits and you dont find out til you are ankle deep!).

Having said that everybody I know is 'shoes on'. But none of them have carpet in downstairs areas so maybe thats the deciding factor?
Is it all about saving the shagpile!?

That old cliche. Haven't seen that in the internet for ooo 2 or 3 days.

I've got quite a lot to worry about thanks, I just happen to have a tiny corner of my brain reserved just for this subject 🤷‍♀️
Always shoes off, despite having hard floors downstairs I still prefer not to have muck walked all over if I can help it. I do enough cleaning without four people's dirty shoes adding to it.
I'm certainly not a germaphobe, I have multiple pets in the house but something about dirty shoes on the floor grinds my gears!
I always take my shoes off when visiting other people's home, I wouldn't dream of walking in with them on.

I think some cultures have it ingrained in their ethno-religious background that you should take your shoes off in places where you're meant to show respect. Like a place of worship and that extends into homes.

Other cultures hail from places where the climate is dusty/muddy, so bringing shoes in the house would dirty it. That's where my MIL is coming from: you'd only do that if the home you're going into is dirtier than outside.

They think people shouldn’t have nice carpets and take two seconds to take shoes off because other people are homeless

I want guests to be comfortable. They're pretty sensible about not traipsing clumps of mud in if we've done something like a woodland walk, but generally they've driven over in nice shoes so aren't covered in filth and won't destroy the flooring.

I don't lick my carpets often. The hall carpet is rather ancient and the previous owner had dogs. It's not immaculate. Our floors are often cold and draughty compared to the temperature above knee level.

I generally take my shoes off soon after coming in because I like to curl up on the sofa. The DCs are told to take theirs off and store them in the hall so they can find them again. Guests can do what they're comfortable with.

It's very unwelcoming to make guests teeter around in the doorway faffing around on one leg doing laces/ buckles. It's also embarasing in the summer when sandaled feet get dusty then sweaty and end up looking grubby even though they started off clean. Please just let me keep the sandals on, they're cleaner than the feet!

Slippers are awful. They make feet sweaty and then they go cold. By the time you buy them wide enough to get your arches in, they slop off all over because they're way too long. They have flat, usually plastic soles that stop you feeling the ground under you, and you just end up shuffling flat-footed on the ground. Nasty, nasty things.

In other words, all the people of Japan and Middle East have to grow up because your culture is the only right one? Only you truly know what we should all be worrying about. Did I get this right?

Thermal socks.

We are a shoes off household but I'd never expect a guest to take theirs off.
I was never raised like that and never bothered when I lived alone.
When I got with DH, he asked me to take my shoes off the first time I went to his and I was a bit surprised. Now it's just normal.

My dad makes a point of keeping his shoes on when he's round and the amount of mud he's traipsed through the house is vile. I always mop once he's left.

We are shoes off but it's an unspoken rule, we don't insist upon it at all. Always take off when we go to to others houses. I usually take slipper socks if I'm going to be staying a while.

Mine is a shoes off house because when we moved in and had the carpet laid my little one was just starting to crawl so I didn't want crap from shoes where he spent alot of time crawling round and putting everything in his mouth. It is definitely a contentious issue on here though😂

I only ask shoes to be removed if they are wet or muddy. Our house has hard floors which are easy to clean and are too cold to go round in socks. I will always remove my shoes if asked to in anyone else's house; their home, their rules.

So we're not allowed to be annoyed or upset by anything that isn't cancer, starvation or homelessness? If that's the case then why are you so upset and annoyed by a thread on a website? I think it's you that needs to grow the fuck up.

I'm a shoes off person and would always take them off at someone else's house unless they walked in with their shoes on themselves.

shoes off always at the door. i think its rude not to do so. i also think people shouldnt ask 'do you want our shoes off' when they walk in, especially in a carpeted home. just take your damn shoes off!

I always offer to take shoes off in other peoples house and really want people to take them off in mine.

I normally say somethinglike - you can leave your shoes there - so not a direct question, its a fine line. I think its rude not to ask in all
honesty. We have wooden floors but I still dont want people with outdoor shoes in my house.

This is a massive thing in SE Asia. When living in Singapore we don’t even step inside the front door with our shoes on.