Scrimp and save to pay mortgage off or live now?

[Easypeelersareterrible]

Prompted by thoughts from others threads, I thought I’d pose my current dilemma.

Early 50s, big earners, 3 teens kids, big mortgage. We are a bit stuck about what to do financially. The choice is:

1. Keep working hard in not very satisfying jobs. Don’t spend extravagantly (but not really living frugally). Get the mortgage (£400k) paid off in 5 years or so.
2. Keep working hard and pay the mortgage off in the next 10 years or so but take slightly more exciting holidays, buy the kids more kit etc while they are home, make a chicken last 2 meals instead of 5 etc.
3. Downsize, move to the country, take much lower paid jobs but have more free time to have fun, no mortgage, lots of savings, more laid back pace of life etc.

We’re currently doing 1. I worry that the kids will leave home and we find we pay the mortgage off, have lots of money and time but no kids left to enjoy it with. Do we just have more fun now, treat them more, but the stress of a mortgage for longer. It’s so hard to know how to gauge things.

What are others philosophy on this?

don't want to limit my life too much just to have a shit ton of money in my 50s and 60s when my kids are grown

Our shit ton of money has meant we have been able to comfortably support through uni and provide house deposits, we are also able to work PT whilst we are still young

Each to their own, zero regrets here

We were high earners who spent spent spent
often had £100k credit card debt (all at less than 2%). Once bought a flat on credit cards

children travelled the world
bought what we wanted

DH diagnosed with cancer at 54 and now twice more
dont regret it for a second

Just to add the current rise in mortgage payments that many are experiencing makes it far less likely anyway.
People are now having to find even more just to meet their monthly repayments
If you can get it down its a very wise decision IMHO as it gives a buffer in case of illness, redundancy etc

Number 2. There is a balance to be struck between living for today and living for tomorrow.

Some of the unhappiest people I know/those with the most regrets fell into the spectrum extremes. Ending up working until 70 with no pension because they 'lived for today'. Or sitting in their mortgage free house at 60 with plenty of money going 'gosh I wish we'd taken the kids away more when they were little'.

It's an MN joke; the paragons who can stretch a chicken to feed a crowd for a week.

I wouldn't be moving to the country with three of this age, even if you can be confident they'd be happy there. Reason being, from reading posts on here it seems to involve a huge amount of driving when they get to that age. It's hugely easier for them to have a social life without you ferrying them everywhere if they're somewhere more built up, and the logistics with three could be a nightmare.

@TowerBallroom it used to be quite a common thread in here, I remember because it worried me we had the wrong approach, I think for those the generation above me (who had experienced higher interest rates in the past so were likely more scared of the balance than me as a millennial used to lower interest rates, but also my generation are used to bigger house prices that were less likely to be paid off in a shorter time, especially as my generation has bought later) so I think generation plays a big part.

For me as well, for our circumstances we are high earners, comfortably 6 figure household but still in the relatively early stages of our career, we had children unusually young for our generation, have pretty much the best pensions you can get and bought our large "forever" home for the price many in the SE spend on their starter homes, so with all that in mind it is comfortably within our risk appetite to let our mortgage run longer and take the hit on interest, with a view to over pay when the kids are grown (as I do understand the desire to pay off sooner now we are experiencing some higher interest rates ha!).

We are saving for university so that won't be a problem, but admittedly not saving for house deposits for ours at this stage, again balancing between now and future, but we may have other means to help with that as and when they get to that stage but right now it's not in the plan.

@TowerBallroom and apologies I didnt mean it as antagonistically as it came across, typing in a rush before school run 😂 I agree it's balance, we did overpay a little before we upsized (and it is amazing what a relatively small payment can do) but having upsized just as rates increased we are reluctant to do so right now, but do intend to do so.

*when the kids are grown or if we did have another bump in pay

Don't move teens to the country.

I agree with this

My parents ended up inheriting when we were all older. I know they would have loved to have taken us away more when we were younger, helped us with uni and house deposits etc but it came later than that. Having loads extra at that age is not that exciting I don't think.

I would definitely do 2. I really feel the weight of knowing that in a few short years our teens will not want to have family holidays where it's just oir little gang. They will either be busy, have their own plans or want to bring partners etc which will change the dynamic.

If I had extra now I would be using it on cultural enrichment, holidays and memory making.

You already are financially secure and if you can continue to earn and pay your mortgage anyway, use the extra for life.

Just to say I agree it should be option 2 and it's a no brainer for me!

2 or 3. Life is for living. Downsize when they leave home (or when you want them to leave home as I’ve known some parents have to do).

Thanks@auberginepeel

Just a FYI the teenage/ young adult years are horrifically expensive, you will long for the bucket and spade years 😂

As I said no one in RL knows, it's not something we shouted about and I'm really fussy so no boiled rice and beans here!

Still 1 for me-Op stated not super frugal so still a nice standard of living and the security and ability to help them as young adults is priceless.

Live for now. We've had a depressing last few years where so many friends have died. You just don't know how long you have with your children.

@TowerBallroom haha yes that's what I'm finding, mine are teen and pre teen now which is partially why I am excusing us from overpayment right now 😂 his school trips alone cost more than our first family holiday 🙈 bracing myself for the young adult years...really want to be able to help as much as we can, we didn't really get that (financially speaking, lovely families!)

Third one!

We are about to do similar- we will downsize to have no mortgage and go on lots more holidays and work part time. Life is too short, I've recently had a health scare and although I should be fine - I know my children need the memories and time with me.

I feel very lucky to be a position where this is an option for us and I intend to make the most of that.