Scrimp and save to pay mortgage off or live now?

[Easypeelersareterrible]

Prompted by thoughts from others threads, I thought I’d pose my current dilemma.

Early 50s, big earners, 3 teens kids, big mortgage. We are a bit stuck about what to do financially. The choice is:

1. Keep working hard in not very satisfying jobs. Don’t spend extravagantly (but not really living frugally). Get the mortgage (£400k) paid off in 5 years or so.
2. Keep working hard and pay the mortgage off in the next 10 years or so but take slightly more exciting holidays, buy the kids more kit etc while they are home, make a chicken last 2 meals instead of 5 etc.
3. Downsize, move to the country, take much lower paid jobs but have more free time to have fun, no mortgage, lots of savings, more laid back pace of life etc.

We’re currently doing 1. I worry that the kids will leave home and we find we pay the mortgage off, have lots of money and time but no kids left to enjoy it with. Do we just have more fun now, treat them more, but the stress of a mortgage for longer. It’s so hard to know how to gauge things.

What are others philosophy on this?

@TheHeadOfTheHouse gosh that’s so sad to read! Is he aware of the fact he has sacrificed parenthood for work? He sounds like a workaholic!

Oh yeah, he believes he’s done it for the best as he never wants to be in a position were he’s no money and homeless ever again so I think there is some trauma there as he has previously been homeless

Live now.

My parents sacrificed their married lives together (Dad worked abroad) for money in retirement. My Mum died 6 months before her retiral date.

Two, because one sounds miserable and three is a terrible idea with teenagers.

You may not have your health in a few years time to be able to travel. Imagine scrimping and saving to pay off your mortgage and then in five years time - God forbid - you have an accident or are diagnosed with a condition that makes adventurous travel almost impossible. Go and trek the Andes and scuba dive in French Polynesia or backpack around Australia or do music and food tour of the Deep South now. Tomorrow might never come.

So, option two now and then downsize when they're adults allowing you to go part time or work in less stressful jobs as you get older.

OP didn’t mention they would have to move school, I guess I imagined the countryside to be a commute 🤷‍♀️

2 with a plan for 3 once last child goes to University

Well commuting is in itself a downside for most people.

If this was countryside with an excellent bus service back to the city and all their friends, and all the things they might want to do of an evening, when they've been mountain biking all day, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad for the DC.

My experience of rural living teens is that either their parents spend a huge amount of time ferrying them about, or they miss out on things their friend are doing. If they'd always lived there and were used to it it would be one thing, but completely different to move to this.

2 then 3 when the kids go to university.

I now know people who haven't lived to retire - in a couple of cases they put back their retirement by a 2-3 years, died soon after retiring or got terminally ill within 2 years of retiring.

The happiest ones sought a balance between working, paying of their mortgage and seeing their children - if they had them when they were healthy. (Oddly they all made time for grandchildren if they had them.)

We didn't start to overpay our mortgage until last year. Our children are now 21 and 18. One graduated from uni, one just started uni. We definitely lived for the now. My lovely friend suddenly died of sepsis aged 39 she was the same age as Dh and a year younger than me. It really brings it home that tomorrow is not guaranteed. We also both lost our Mums too so you never know when the last Christmas you spend with someone might actually be their very last Christmas.

We knew the children might not want to continue doing holidays with us or weekends out and about so we prioritised having fun with them a lot of it on their terms and enjoyed ourselves but also through their joy too.

I vote option 2 for not but consider option 3 but take into account the whole ferrying them around aspect.

Why would it be living unhappily?
Op says not living frugally
Most stuff people buy is a waste of money, kids move onto the next thing quickly
Be balanced, pay off mortgage, one nice holiday,less tat.

We paid ours off at 48, best feeling ever!
All our money is our own,option 1 gives you financial freedom, ability to look for what you really want in life

Don't do option 3, disastrous for DC at this time

1. There is no way on this gods green earth can you make a chicken last 5 days (how big is this chicken? Teens as well) IMPOSSIBLE
2. Pay the mortgage off now as the teens will grow up and need cash for uni, first house, marriage and their own kids.

2 or 3 depending on the kids. There could be a trade off with a cheaper city and good place to be.

2 sounds the most sensible- 1 sounds like you’re being too tight and I think you’d regret 3.

Im also not sure why you’re so desperate to pay off the mortgage when you’re so close to being able to access your pension. If anything I’d be ploughing the money into pension for the tax relief and then using the tax free lump sum to clear a big portion of the mortgage. I certainly wouldn’t be overpaying when you’re only a few years from being able to access tax efficient money via the pension. Overpaying now seems to be a really inefficient use of the money.

We did number 1 and the relief has been immense. We did get a couple of big holidays in before we knuckled down to it. It's been a huge weight lifted. We're now free to save for DSs future and our own.

It sounds like you'll still have a good quality of life while you focus on the mortgage.

I just think you never know what's around the corner-illness, death, redundancy. If you're in a position to get your mortgage paid early I think you should go for it.

Re.the chicken comment, the OP was obviously joking about making it last 5 meals!!

We are late 50s and doing 2.

DCs are now adults. 2 are married. One still lives with us.

I thought we would downsize when youngest went off to uni. Instead we extended! Then came covid, weddings. At some point we may be blessed with DGCs.

3 was our lottery dream.

Now I'm a little bit older it has less appeal. We have a sizeable allotment which keeps us busy. If at any point it becomes too much then we can give it up and walk away.

The idea of rural isolation would frighten me. My DGPs did it and it was lovely until it suddenly wasn't.

@Easypeelersareterrible , I would go with 2 as well.

what struck me is that you think you should be offering a more exciting life for your kids but it sounds like they are quite happy with the one they have. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.They can do all that visiting new places when they older and paying for it if they want to. So perhaps you can find a way to do 1
and 2 and once they have left 3

2 and then 3 once the children are grown, at uni, off doing their own thing.

Enjoy your life and your children now,

For me, 1 is what you do before you have children and 3 is what you do when you retire. Save some, spend some is what you do in the middle.

In your position, I would aim for 7.5 years.

A bit of balance - still allows for some fun money bit not an unnecessary amount.

2....the teenage years really whizz by. I wouldn't ever move London/urban teenagers to the country. And I hate the idea of living super-frugally just to pay off the mortgage if you don't have to - life's for living now. Our youngest is at university now and we'll pay off the mortgage next year when our fixed rate ends. I feel a bit robbed of the 'great holidays with teens' thing as Covid interrupted that, but we did still some fantastic road trips and city breaks with them, by accepting that paying down the mortgage could wait. We're still only in our mid-late 50s and not retired yet; actually we've found our (demanding) jobs easier now the dc are older. No regrets.

3 all day long for me . Life’s too short!

2 for sure

you need to enjoy the time with your kids! And you’ll still have the mortgage paid off early (?) 60s. Sounds like you are financially comfortable so it’s doable.

I’d do 1.5. Pay mortgage off in 7.5 years and have moderately exciting holidays.