Scrimp and save to pay mortgage off or live now?

[Easypeelersareterrible]

Prompted by thoughts from others threads, I thought I’d pose my current dilemma.

Early 50s, big earners, 3 teens kids, big mortgage. We are a bit stuck about what to do financially. The choice is:

1. Keep working hard in not very satisfying jobs. Don’t spend extravagantly (but not really living frugally). Get the mortgage (£400k) paid off in 5 years or so.
2. Keep working hard and pay the mortgage off in the next 10 years or so but take slightly more exciting holidays, buy the kids more kit etc while they are home, make a chicken last 2 meals instead of 5 etc.
3. Downsize, move to the country, take much lower paid jobs but have more free time to have fun, no mortgage, lots of savings, more laid back pace of life etc.

We’re currently doing 1. I worry that the kids will leave home and we find we pay the mortgage off, have lots of money and time but no kids left to enjoy it with. Do we just have more fun now, treat them more, but the stress of a mortgage for longer. It’s so hard to know how to gauge things.

What are others philosophy on this?

Option 2. Teens are expensive and you don't need any addtional pressures.
Countryside life Is tricky for teens not used to it. That's an adult dream.

Do your teenage kids actually want to move to the country? It's a hard time to uproot them.

2 sounds like the best option- less disruption and a bit more balance. Once they have left school you can think about next steps. When are you hoping to retire?

I'd go for 2 if it means that you can have a good quality of life and let you make the most of the time you have with your teens.
3 isn't fair on your kids, I really don't imagine they'd want to be uprooted to the countryside they don't like where you live now.

3! It’s a no-brainer for me, I can’t see a downside!

Option 2 here as well.... Was our plan and costs changed due various things and ended up spending less on holidays/travel than hoped but enabled more support around activities and education....and extension which made house better for us to live in

Mortgage paid much later than originally planned but hey that's life we had choices.... Some decisions i would possibly not do now in hindsight... But can't go back in time... And nothing major..

Other than interrupting schooling at vital ages, losing their friends, having fuck all in the way of activities to do, stifling their independence...

Do you honestly think three teens will be happy to be uprooted from their friends and all they know? Not to mention some of them are likely to have started GCSEs.
If the kids were under 7, perfect. But do you honestly not see any downsides at all?

I live very rural and do more driving than I really want to and that's without teenagers! It would be a nightmare with older children, you'd be constantly ferrying them around.

I'd go too. Yes, you have to plan for the future, but it's really important to enjoy the present as that's all that's guaranteed.

Once kids leave home, I'd do 3 then.

I’d do two, then three once the kids have flown (unless they’d all like to do 3 now)

We are paying ours off as we don't know how long we will be fit enough to work, or how long we will want to work- u never know the minute

That's just our personal choice!

1 is no way to live. Life is too bloody short. You’d regret it if god forbid something happened and you never managed to enjoy things.

2 is your best bet with your view to aim for 3 further down the line.

We were lucky enough to pay our mortgage off about 5 years ago (we're late 40s now). To be honest, it hasn't been the life changing experience I expected.

Yes, it's been great not having to worry about all the interest rate hikes and we've had less impact from the COL crisis than most but it's all very intangible stuff - we know we should be grateful and we're lucky etc etc but given the choice on what to have done with that money, I think I'd have spent it on the fun stuff. I'd love to take DC to Florida, for example.

I think the more money you have, the more you just adjust your lifestyle to it. Not sure I'm really making sense here but basically I'd say enjoy life with your kids.

Enjoy your life, especially while your kids are at home. I speak as somebody whose mum died at 60 with lots of plans for "retirement" that she missed out on. I've seen too many tragic situations to assume that things can't go wrong. I'm sorry to sound maudlin but you have some really good options there and I'd be taking advantage of that. For me it would be the downsize and financial security alongside a better work/life balance.

I doubt very much your teens will want to be uprooted and have to live in the country.

Option 2 gives you more options (and more money to cope with the most expensive child years coming up).

I would do 2 for 5 years and then 1 for 2.5 years as I'm guessing you will have fewer mouths to feed and fewer people to entertain/dress in 5 years time so should hopefully be able to save more year by year. Although if you have 13 year old triplets now then I'd say do 2. Don't do 3, the teens will probably not like it.

Your life will.change.

You will never get back the opportunities you lose now.

We paid our mortgage off in about 18 years.

Iworked part time so I could drop kids to school and pick them up, so had all the time with them.for activities etc. We went on nice holidays but the children remember camping as much as Florida so they don't have to be ££££. We ate well but I shopped at sensibly priced places. We didn't eat out much or have takeaways.

So I guess you say we hit a happy medium.

Now the children have flown the nest so any time with them is very different than it was. I'm happy our mortgage was paid as I've been able to retire early and now care for my Dad. You could say it's bought us choices but I wouldn't sacrifice spending time with your children now but I also.wouldnt overspend and I'd use that saving to.overpay the mortgage.

Our mortgage wasn't that large. We have almost paid it off. We are mid/late 40s.
Pai d of 220000 or thereabouts within 7 years. ( this is our 2nd property together and we already paid a fair bit off the 1st mortgage)
I wish we hadn't and had enjoyed life more and done some lovely holidays and worked less to enjoy life more.
I am looking back at it and while financially it makes sense I wish we had prioritised our relationship and the kids and theses needs more.
We had repeated conversations about this and my OH didn't want to downsize/ have a less stressful job etc. I wish he had!

Do 2 now and 3 when the children have finished uni.

2.5- pay no more than the regular/minimum mortgage payment, take good holidays while kids are teens and will appreciate and learn from them, eat good food but not extravagant, save for your share of their Uni costs (as high earners they will only get minimum loan and you will need to top them up), then when empty nesters sell up, move to country and slow down with less stressful jobs and no mortgage.

The kids say thry would love to move to a rural village. They are really into their mountain biking. They also like cheap GB mountain biking holidays too so we are hardly ‘deprived’ now. They have all they want, but we’re not really showing them the world when we could be.

I think they’d regret a country move in the end as we are in a big city and where we live now would be a great place for them to ‘boomerang’ back to as adults who are saving for a deposit which would only work if we still have a big family home.

I cannot stand having a mortgage. We both work in the private sector in an industry with fairly regular redundancies. If either of us lost our jobs we’d probably have to move. Stressful. Want to retire at 60. Private sector pensions aren’t great but we could probably make it work. But I admit we are in a more fortunate position than most.

For me, no2. Enjoy life while you can you never know whats round the corner. We live for holidays and doing fun things together. As my dad used to say “your a long time dead”

I vote 2, we cleared our mortgage before we had DC (not forward planning just late with becoming parents) and it was freeing but it would be really hard to do with DC whilst also providing opportunities around clubs and sports, holidays, experiences like tickets for this or that. I wouldn’t give up the stuff that makes life nice for your kids.

We are doing 2 but still making a small overpayment on the mortgage. We made great inroads into the mortgage during Covid but are now more focussed on enjoying our last few years with the kids at home and still wanting to go on holiday with us. I’d love to move but will wait until the kids have moved on now.

My dh is very set on being financially secure.

our mortgage was paid off in 2 years of having it (we owed 340k) as he worked and worked and worked.

hes now convinced we need to more financially secure than what we are (180k in savings).

the result?

• he’s barely done anything with the kids (12 and 7)
• he’s taken the kids to the park or some with us 5 times in 12 years
• been to the cinema 3 times with us
• had one holiday in 12 years
• no social life and no friends
• unable to communicate at the very rare times he’s attended a family occasion due to being so closed off from the outside world and people in general.
• never leaves the house as he’s worried about losing money if clients call.
• the kids don’t know him as a dad that attends activities or plays with them.

yes the mortgage may be paid off but it’s been at a massive sacrifice.

financial security is important, but so is everything else in life so I would pick option 2

If your kids like cheap GB mountain biking holidays take a 50:50 approach.

review the amount you are currently putting into option 1 and take a third to a half away. Keep this in a separate account for fun adventures.

this way you are paying down the mortgage still, but have created a larger fun money pot monthly/annually to allow you to do more travel or experiences with your children.

mine are younger than yours and I had a costly divorce so currently I am in idea 1 of yours. If I lose my job I want as little mortgage as possible.but as the kids get older and can appreciate a holiday that isn’t just beach/pool I will be changing that to give more flexibility to mortgage overpayments so I can have fun with the kids whilst they are small.