Xmas hosting

[Julz1981]

I had surgery earlier this year, quite major,partner works shifts and my parents unfortunately passed away, mum and dad both passed within 18 months. Iv friends who have very large extended family the type that, if theyv a cold, they get homemade meals dropped off etc, iv really struggled at times, and had to get on with things. If friends visited I was hobbling about making hot drinks etc. Now if asked if I'm having xmas drinks for everyone this year I said no, why should I, no one was around when I needed the support

Now if asked if I'm having xmas drinks for everyone this year I said no

Who is asking you? Who is ‘everyone’?

Why are they asking? Presumably because you always do Xmas drinks for ‘everyone’? Why?

Fair enough Julz

Who asked? Friends who have extended family support? Your family? It sounds perfectly reasonable than you should decline their kind offer for you to host. Usually people invite you to their house, not the other way round. Put your feet up this year.

Just say I'll be at the pub Christmas Eve and/or New Year's Eve, so drop in for a pint if you're free. Then leave them to it.

If you don’t want to have people over for drinks then just say you’re not up to it this year. I’m sure your friends will understand.

Just say no.

If friends visited I was hobbling about making hot drinks etc I mean this with kindness, but you’ve made out to them that you’re coping fine. It’s not much of a surprise that they believe you. If you’d said ‘I’m struggling so if you want a hot drink, you’ll have to help yourself’, then they’d probably have realised that you needed a bit of support.