To hate secret santa

[Gotabadfeelingaboutthis]

So I work 2 part time jobs. Both small teams (about 10 people in each) and both places are doing secret santa. I hate it. It is literally a lose-lose situation. Because I work part time, I don't know any of these people on a personal level well at all. My options are;

1. refuse to partake which then sours relations with colleagues and creates an awkward atmosphere on the "exchange" when I'm sat there not joining in.
2. join in, spend ages trying to find a nice gift for someone I don't know that well, then get a shit present in return that inevitably ends up in the charity shop because they don't know me that well either 🤷‍♀️

If workplaces insist on doing this, why can't they at least let people give a few ideas of things they like/might appreciate. It's just £20 (10 for each workplace) that I'll never see again in return for probably a generic bath set.

I always think an Amaryllis is a good gift £3.99 in Lidl and they are good

It's really not that deep. If you want to get involved do it. If you don't, say no.

All the people scared of being pushed into it or live in fear office colleagues gossiping about them need to grow a pair.

I would really like hand warmers!
I think maybe you were a bit sensitive about your fling.

Well no because it means each person only has to buy one present (ok two in Op's case). And it's a bit of fun!

I absurdly hate it. I gave in last year and once again got something utterly dreadful. I am definitely not doing it this year.

YANBU.

I always find that I put loads of thoughtful effort in and then someone who has know me well for years gets me a crummy Home Bargains bath set. Or once it was some lip balms worth about £2 (£10 present). It really pisses me off. This will be the last year I’m taking part. I’ve got the CEO too so god ones what I’m gonna buy!

Haha no. Who the fuck in their 20s uses hand warmers?? I didn't even know they were a thing!

I hate it too. I invariably end up with something shit and i need that 10 quid to go towards my kids presents.

When the subject comes up, i always say "i won't be taking part, but thank you for asking." If anyone asks why i tell them money is tight. It's true, but also they can't argue with it.

You think they're good, which doesn't mean anything ,because they're people on here disagreeing about hand warmers 😁 which means save your money for people who you actually know and care about 😊.

Thank goodness someone at my old work suggested we all donate a gift to Mission Christmas instead. Next job someone had the guts to say they were uncomfortable with the waste involved, could we have a charity whip round instead abd everyone agreed. I haven't done a secret santa for years now.

Not when you wouldn’t ordinarily buy that person or any of your colleagues a gift – let’s be honest, the majority wouldn’t and only ‘have to’ because of secret santa set ups.

Our team does secret santa. We also have a document that gets sent out asking your favourite food, drink, colour, hobbies, restaurants, shops - and it also asks what you don’t want. Works well. Even the most clueless person can buy a voucher for a favourite coffee shop or whatever.

I’m another one who hates it. At one workplace I got around the problem of being given absolute crap by organising it and then making sure a friend and I get each others names (I took our names out of the pot before handing round 😁). We then bought ourselves something that we actually wanted and no-one knew anything about it.

At another workplace I told everyone I was opting out and donating to the local foodbank instead. The following year we all did that.

Or put the generic tub of chocolates as the secret santa gift.

NB - if you have a tesco clubcard, large taster box of Green & Blacks £9, purchased today, not for a SS😃

Last year & this, gift has to be second hand/from charity shop - separate organisations. This year has to be wrapped in recycled packaging.
Trend towards less disposable tat?
I cheated slightly and used Abe books this year, but no one will know it wasn't from a charity shop.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5208056-secret-santa-has-anyone-else-had-supposed-bad-luck-with-it-lighthearted?page=2

I got forgotten twice, and began a thread about this very subject recently. Just a load of tripe!

I didn’t enjoy the 1 I once participated in. The only other time I escaped by being pregnant!
I drew a lady from the admin office who I never even spoke to, I had only been working there for about 3 months (2 days a week) and the lady worked the other 3 days! I didn’t know the “etiquette” of Secret Santa as I was only 18, and had never done one before. When I researched it (as best I could bear in mind we are talking dial up Internet and asking my friends and family) I was informed that usually you have to “take the piss” which meant “something from Ann Summers”. To my stupid, only just turned 18 that summer and being a bit of a prude brain.
So I bought a box of penis pasta and some “lickable goodies” which were lollies in the shape of various sexual parts.
For a lady who I was later informed was actually HUGELY catholic and massively religious…
I received a box of Pro Plus and about 4 energy drinks, plus some lucozade and a box of plasters/bandages and a pair of pink fluffy handcuffs. I have never wanted to die so much in my life unwrapping that in front of my much older (most of them male) colleagues!!!

YANBU I am surprised that workplaces still do it. Just opt out. It's better for people to not take part than do it and give something random because they can't be bothered.
Maybe suggest next year you do a collection for a local charity instead. A food bank or present for needy children or maybe food and things for an animal sanctuary.

I would say if anyone is thinking of suggesting a charity collection in the workplace instead of Secret Santa that you need to be willing to do the organising. But it's worth it IMHO.

Just a suggestion use [email protected] my work team uses this and participants can put up a wish list and the person that draws them can buy something from the list. All done anonymously.

This is a brilliant idea.

I don't do secret santa, I am a nightmare to buy for and I hate buying for people I don't know very well. I find the whole thing stressful. Although, I absolutely love Christmas and I am one of the most christmassy person you could ever meet, I always feel a bit of a bah humbug refusing this. I am going to totally do this though. Thanks 🎅

Yeah Secret Santa is generally a crap idea.

I took place a couple of times in previous jobs. The first time anyone who wanted to participate was meant to bring a wrapped gift. Then at the Christmas lunch, participants were invited to go sit on Santa's knee (cringe, cringe, cringe) and were then handed a gift at random from his stash of gifts.

The second time everyone was given the name of the person they had to buy for. I got some guy I really didn't know at all. Can't remember now what I bought but tried to find something suitably generic and not embarrassing. Whoever bought for me presumably did the same as I got a Bayliss and Harding toiletry set that ended up being regifted for a raffle prize.

On the whole I really can't see why anyone thinks they are a good idea and I am really not a Bah Humbug sort of person.

i sat out of secret Santa last year. It wasn’t awkward in the slightest, it’s only awkward if you make it so.

It's simple just say no. I never join such a waste of money. I only work with these people they are not my friends

I don't join in and everyone is used to it now, you could always buy a box of chocolates for everyone in the office instead