Secret Santa-has anyone else had supposed bad luck with it? Lighthearted.

[Noodge]

I have been in four including this one.

First one, new team member got me and didn't get me anything. Blank stare when he was asked why (by me and others). I had got some lovely hair accessories for the woman I got, which were well received.

Second one, again I didn't get anything. This time the excuse was that his shift pattern meant he didn't have time. We all had differing shift patterns.

He was a smoker and I had bought him some very well-thought out smoke related things. I ended up giving them to my lovely manager who was also a smoker.

Third one, I as always bought some thoughtful presents-I was presented with a box of cheap brown hair dye. I dyed my hair bright colours at the time. There was no 'joke theme' or such for which it would have made sense, and I had no desire to dye my hair. Binned, and had cost a fraction of what I had spent and much lower than the budget given.

Two different work places.

This year, obviously not complete yet but a different workplace, and I have been given the name of a woman who really doesn't seem to like me. I have posted about her on here before, the way she addresses me is rude and unprofessional and she often allocates me more work than others. I like everyone else I work with!!

I end up with her. SO typical!

I almost opted out but nobody else seemed to want to and they're all excited about it so I didn't want to be a scrooge.

Anyone else?

A lady I worked with got a copy of the Kama sutra from her secret Santa who was a young male colleague she was mortified when she opened it Christmas morning in front of her dh and teenage dc

None of us revealed who we were so never knew 😅 I'd usually wear any socks that came my way but they were a strange rough material, the kind that go solid with one wash.

@potatocakesinprogress

Her ears were pierced but clearly they were not to her taste. I understand that but in her shoes I would have smiled and politely commented that they were lovely. It’s just that she looked so annoyed by them 😆

I was so disappointed one year. I had my Nigerian colleague to buy for. Now I'd spent a week in Lagos with work. The food was amazing, but so very hot and spicy. So I bought him a lovely gift set of super hot sauces and chutneys from a Devon chilli farm. Turned out he couldn't stand spicy food. Gutted. How he survived growing up in Nigeria was a mystery to me!

Honesty is always the best policy in my view 😂 That way you don't get the same shit present twice.

Secret Santa at my previous workplace was my idea of hell. Organised by a small group of fairly senior members of staff who liked everyone to think that they were fun/friendly etc but were actually inappropriate and unpleasant (I will refer to them as 'The Arseholes'!). It was made clear that opting out would not be OK and there was a compulsory team 'training' lunch where gifts were handed out and opened one by one with everyone watching. It was, in theory, anonymous but The Arseholes kept a record of who was buying for who, and also asked who bought any gift that stood out to them for any reason. The Arseholes and their followers always bought what they considered to be hilarious gifts and made sneery comments about lots of the other gifts (eg. too boring, 'common' brands etc). Everyone feared being asked to buy for one of The Arseholes as there would be nasty comments if it was something neutral but also great offence taken if there was an attempt at humour that they didn't appreciate. I managed to avoid that, but one of the Arseholes bought for me several times. Once was a sachet of some sort of powdered animal bone which according to the label was an aphrodisiac (perfect gift for a middle aged vegetarian) and another year I received edible underwear. Both of which had to be unwrapped and handed around for everyone to see whilst attempting to appear to find it all such fun.

One year someone's gift was a charity donation in the recipient's name. I would have loved that. But The Arseholes decided it was not in the Xmas spirit (!) and made a new rule for future years that there were to be no charity donations or other 'worthy' gifts. I am very glad to be out of the madness!

I know some companies work this way-I think for all of them you don't reveal who you have got to buy for, but often afterwards people do know who their gift is from. I was surprised at that, I thought it was meant to be a secret, period.

Similar to my experience in a way.
It does affect work relations when people get it so wrong.

Generic may be the way forward, knowing my luck I'd buy chocolates for someone who hates them or wine for someone who doesn't drink/doesn't like wine-but I guess as you've said, they can be regifted at least.

I'd appreciate wine unless it was horrible, I'd not appreciate chocolates as I just don't have a sweet tooth at all.

I always bought nice gifts for my recipient. One year the person who was meant to buy mine forgot and quickly went to the shop opposite and picked up a cheap digital clock thing. The lot fell apart in a couple of hours but it kept beeping. Pointless crap. We had a manager who thought she deserved better than a toiletry set and made sure the gift giver knew. Always caused problems in our office

Thankfully my work doesn't do it any longer (thank you lock down) but the memorable ones were-my mate got a cute tin with peter rabbit on,with she assumed either sweets or biscuits in. Nope, just a tin. I got a used gift bag with a cheap shower gel (for men) a crunchie a twix and a flake-all from.a multi pack and three loose cinnamon (stinking) tealights-again from a pack. Limit was a fiver, they must have spent a whole 2 quid if that. Then a teacher known for being a bit of a joker got a mankini three years in.a row. He said "If I get one next year I'll wear the fecker on sports day"

I've had some lovely presents

However the last draw was really disappointing - I was regifted what someone else qas given last year. We're a small team and i recognised it. It was some pointless mini candles and a coaster.

I felt pretty hurt as i knew who had given it and i always put lots of thought and effort into my gifts. Maybe they were caught short - but it wasn't in the spirit of the rest of the team who always made an effort

Probably my worst experience was a team where it was roughly a 50/50 male/female split, so some bright spark suggested all men would buy for a woman and vice versa, then it was lucky dip.

Lots of thoughtful gifts from the women, the men bought (amongst other junk) 3 bottles of blue WKD (not even spending the budget) and a giant marshmallow penis (ditto).

There was some surprise when I declined to take part after that!

I once got a “grow your own sunflower” kit from a partner in a law firm (again, way under budget).

Thankfully I have avoided them for the last decade or so.

Die Hard 4 DVD (used). At my leaving do someone gave me a hair dye in a big size promotion box and she didn't hide it that she had received it for free.

Last workplace I gave a lovely and thoughtful gift, exactly what he wanted, and at the top of the budget and the guy just left it at work. It was left there for ages before the senior manager took it for himself. He didn’t get me anything though and when challenged he said he didn’t think I’d want anything.

Another workplace I was being bullied badly and got a generic box of cheap perfume and a ‘you literally stink’ keychain. I raised a grievance against the person who gave it to me and HR gave him a final written warning.

This workplace has been fairly decent so far in that we’ve not had a single secret santa since I joined

Surely you have been doing secret santa wrong if you know who has been letting you down and definitely very wrong if the person you are buying for is also buying for you.

It's (a) supposed to be secret who is giving to who and (b) not possible to participate without buying a gift.

I'm no longer in a big organisation but used to do it every year when I was. It helped that there were two similar-sized departments where the Department Secretaries were friends and each one of them was "Elf" for the other department - It's good to have an "Elf" who isn't participating in the circle but there's also apps/websites that will do the legwork of assigning each person a giftee and ensuring that everyone participates, which for us involved getting a random gift label to attach to the gift, which had to be brought in the day before so that there was time to check that the santa sack had the right number of gifts.

We were always advised to buy with the person "in mind" but to get something that had a broad enough general appeal that you would be likely to be able to swap with someone if you happen to get something inadvertently unsuitable. In the event that someone was off sick or didn't participate the gift theoretically bought for the person who wasn't doing it would get given to the person they were supposed to be buying for so everyone who gave a gift got a gift.

Over the years I have been asked by younger colleague new to the whole office Secret Santa thing about suitable gifts for people you don't know (in largely female environments). My advice is a nice scented candle never offends so get yourself along to TK Maxx.

I figure that even if the recipient wasn't keen it would come in useful for a hostess gift, small thank you present, etc, at some point and save them a few pounds.

However, this being Mumsnet I have no doubt someone will be along to tell me scented candles are the devil's work or not up to scratch unless they are made by an artisan using the tears of unicorns.

A few years ago I worked somewhere with a lot of forced fun, and we didn't really have a choice but to take part in Secret Santa.

We could put ideas on a website which meant whoever received us could get ideas. The woman I got said she wanted a specific item on there, so I bought that. Easy peasy.

But when she opened the gift in the office she wrinkled her nose and showed her friends with a strange expression on her face. I heard her friend say 'why would someone get you that!'

I was puzzled as she specifically asked for this item, it wasn't something I would have got her otherwise. It wasn't offensive, just a bit niche. I wished I'd just given a mug and socks.

I've only ever been in one, about 25 years ago. I don't normally do office work, but I had a load of analysis and reports and was in an office in Aberdeen. The limit was a fiver and as I'm a Bah, Humbug! I was browbeaten into it.

I'm crap at presents, but I found some really nice chocolates in a chocolatier and spent a bit more than a fiver.

In return, I got a cheap and nasty deodorant - shower gel kit, for the princely sum of £2.49. The label was still on it.

My workplace do secret Santa and it’s £20 budget, so far everyone has been really thoughtful, however we also do a like and dislike list so it gives people an idea.

makes life much easier especially if you don’t really know the person.

I’ve had in the past…

A pair of kids mittens coupled with some alcohol filled chocolates.

A massive tub of mince pie yoghurt, which had sat in a hot staff room all day.

Nothing.

I always made a big effort to get something I thought my recipient would appreciate, but eventually I just opted out!

I once drew the name of a woman in the team I really didn't know well at all. I put a lot of effort into finding out what she'd like, instead of buying generic crap.

She loved her present and went around telling everyone how great her secret Santa present was... from our boss!

He got all the credit.

I eventually told her that I'd actually bought it. She responded with "no you didn't" and that was that. She was a prick.

It's (a) supposed to be secret who is giving to who and (b) not possible to participate without buying a gift.
@MarketValveForks Its perfectly possible to participate without buying a gift if you’re a dick: is say you’ll take part and pick a name, don’t bother buying a gift for that person, still turn up on the day to collect your gift.

@SBHon not if you have a proper organisation structure in place. In our situation the organising "Elf" knew exactly who was responsible for what (they weren't part of the team) and if a dick didn't bring a gift they wouldn't be given a gift either.

I’ve never had anything nice.

at uni, my person bought me a pack of skittles. The back story was, he asked me to wash something of his as I had space in my load (less weird than it sounds, all of us in the house used to share if this happened). He left a pack of skittles in the pocket and it ruined my top. Clearly he thought this was funny enough to commemorate with a gift!!

At school I got a necklace which completely wasn’t my style, given a day late so I thought I’d been forgotten.

at uni another time the guy did just not get me anything . Turned up to receive his gift though.

the best one I had was a little sewing kit. I was big in to sewing at the time so poor quality thread and cheap fabric wasn’t particularly useful but at least it was thoughtful!!

My favourite was being gifted some fzb cookie cutters (I like baking) and a spatula.

I was totally thrilled.
Easily pleased....