to think that dh might spend some of his 'bonus' and other money coming his way on me??

[HappyNewYearFeet06]

Ok. At the moment we have just scraped through last month. As we have had a holiday and some other unexpected bills so it has been tight but we have made it, just! Not the usually month that we have and we are usually fine and comfortable, so to speak.

Dh is getting a bonus from work and also has some other money coming from somewhere else this month too. I have got a couple of things in mind thatI would like, the same as he has said there is a coupleof things that he would like.

Should he spend it on me as well as himself??

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My dh has his own bank account and I have mine. All I get is child benefit and £20 a week Working Tax Credit.

I think his work bonus should be spent on himself, as he worked for it. Wherever the other money comes from - I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for something out of that.

My ex never did. Wouldn't even have occured to him. But he's my ex!

As it is his bonus, it is his choice as to how it is spent.

If he chooses to spend it on you, all the better

We are using my dh's bonus to reduce our mortgage.

Good advice!

My dh wouldn't offer to buy me something out of it. I have hinted about a purchase I have in mind and its my birthday in a couple of weeks too.

He has worked hard for his bonus but he agreed to be the main eaner in the house wanting me to stay at home and look after the children.

This is what you have to expect if you become a housewife. It's an unacceptable situation to be in where you lose all power. I would get back to work and out earn him and spend your own bonus!

Jeeeez the sheer amount of married people living under the rule of the 'wage earner' is so depressing

How on earth do you do the shopping if sll you have is CTC and CB?

You need a joint account!

May be her husband does the shopping or gives her the exact money for the things that are needed.

Am shocked at all the sentiment that it is "his" money...

How would he have his children looked after while he worked if you didn't do it?????

His money is your money - especially since it doesn't sound like he's paying you a wage for bringing up his children and looking after his house.

Good god what flippin century are we living in?????

God, you don't have to expect this if you become a housewife! Presumably you both decided on your seperate roles, your husband as earner, you as home-maker, surely it's an equal thing, you share the money, he shares the home and family life that you enable there to be? I'd expect the bonus to go on family, or pay off mortgage etc

Dropdeadfred, nooname & kitsmummy I agree ... sheesh any money that comes into the household from whatever source is our money. I really don't get this 'his money' thing. Utterly depressing & women go along with it. Crazy.

OK boot on the other foot, I earn the £££ I get teh bonuses, in fact my money pays for everything just about.
When I get a bonus should I spend it on DH? Or me??

BTW DH does earn £ and he pays for his phone, pension, gym, life insurance, sky and new toys!! He soesn't contribute to joint account

I earn £££ so I pay for ALL household expenses (bar his stuff) from joint account, mortgage, shopping etc. All kids clothes, toys etc. Holidays/new kitchen, new sofas whatever.

I have my own account for my shoes/clothes/phone/pension/treats etc.

Tell me where should my bonus go?? (PS not enough to pay off mortgage, not a city bonus more in teh £100's

Also just to explain once I have put £ into joint account, plus various savings accounts, we both have similar left on our current accounts to soend, only I spend mine

When DH or I get an unexpected/expected bonus most of it goes into savings or share save, and we would split the remainder between us equally. Anything else is massively unfair.

Crunchie, your bonus should go into a joint account just like the rest of your earnings.

Seriously what does it matter that your husband earns £ and you earn £££, as long as your £+£££= enough to pay joint household expenses, then why should you have more expendable income that your DH.

That's absurd that he's worked hard for the money and so it's his! If they decided as a family that the OP would be at home raising the children then all income belongs to both of them, regardless of whether it's salary, a bonus or numbers coming up on the lottery.

In many jobs (mine included) the bonus is a standard thing each year - mine might go up but it never falls below a certain amount. As such, it's treated just as part of your salary by most people, not a special one off.

DH gets 10% of his bonus (or pay raise) to blow on himself if he wants. The rest goes into the family coffers for savings/pensions/essentials. He doesn't usually spend that much though. He works very hard and I don't have a problem with him having a treat.

Yes he should but if he is anything like mine he probably won t. Check out my thread "Is my H a selfish pr*ck?" here on AIBU. If H gets a bonus before this trip comes up I know what it will be going on.

Depends if bonus is regular and really just part of salary or whether an unexpected windfall bonus. In which case, really depends on how much. There, that clears it up.