To think no one does this - Christmas toys related

[EvilsElsasPetSnowman]

So MIL once did a judgy shock-face at me when, after asking if I take all the toys out the boxes and test them before Christmas Day, before wrapping them, i said “No of course not!”. She said “Oh I did with all of my kids’ toys! I made sure they had batteries in and that they worked because there’s nothing sadder than if a child can’t enjoy their present on Christmas Day”.

I pointed out that as a SAHM she probably had more time to do stuff like that than I do, and that if a toy doesn’t work I’ll replace it at the earliest opportunity, and the kids will have to live with the disappointment and that it won’t kill them, that’s life.

Anyway she went on to say that not only did she un box and then re box the toys, she would also read Lego instructions so she knew how to build the sets, and get this - if they were getting a computer game she’d set up their consoles and play the game so that if they needed help on a level she’d know what to do to help

She just kept (rather smugly) saying “I always made sure I was prepared when it came to Christmas and that my kids knew I was always there for them if they needed my help with something”. I REALLY felt like saying “Funny how you weren’t there for them when you left their dad and moved in with your new fella and his kids for a year, completely ignoring their existence and not even turning up to parents evening or their sports matches, emotionally scarring all 4 of them, but the real failure as a mother is me as I don’t play Animal Crossing before my son gets to”. But I didn’t.

I think this is totally bonkers? Does anyone actually do this?

Also how in the actual fuck would you ever get toys back in the box?! I asked this and she says “it’s easy they just go in the same as they came out”. She clearly hasn’t met vacuumed toy packaging of the 2020’s some of which needs a hacksaw to even open

YABU = Yep I do this you slovenly woman
YANBU = that’s bat shit crazy and no one does it.

I feel like unboxing the presents and setting all the toys up is part of the fun of Christmas Day. Figuring out if batteries are needed - yes. Anything else - no.

It’s just silly to bicker over how much time stay at home mums have got - it’s not set in stone just because someone is a stay at home mum, I’m one but I’m a mature student so I have very little spare time. I used to have loads. But equally there will be some working parents who have lots of free time because of the nature of their work/shift times etc and there will be some working parents who do 60 hours a week.

The fact that the mother in law was a stay at home mum isn’t the issue, it’s the competitive parenting she’s now trying to put on her daughter in law.

I think it depends on the child.
For some, yes. For others it is just stress. You have to know your child.

Either she actually did all this because she is an insane lawnmower parent or she’s making it up to make you feel bad because she’s toxic af.

I do make sure each child has at least one gift that’s ready to enjoy straight out of the box, but not everything. Partly that’s about our time & energy as parents, but mostly I just think it’s better if the gift enjoyment gets spread out a bit (and some toys I specifically don’t want getting played with immediately in the middle of family celebrations). For our older DC in particular I think that setting up their own stuff is part of the enjoyment - they’re usually eager to dive into the instructions and start figuring it out on their own. Me pre-playing games to make sure I could mow down any obstacles and they didn’t have to work to figure things out would absolutely ruin it. One of our older ones got a craft station with lots of drawer & wall storage last year, and she spent a whole weekend planning out her organization system (there were diagrams) and collaborating with grandpa & brother on which hooks, shelves, drawers, and cubbies to install where. If I had set the whole thing up on my own she would have missed that.

My 11yo is getting a kindle this year. It will be charged, connected to my amazon account and have some books downloaded to it (from her book wishlist).

We built stuff like the Dream house, or Little Tikes car when younger.

I'll check them, to make sure they work. It is not the first time something has a missing piece. I do my shopping in advance I don't want any crap that I can't have a refund if something doesn't work.
She may be a PITA but checking the toys is something I do. Not all of them has batteries included, never did when I was younger.
Some modern toys can be checked even before you buy them usually has a sticker or label that say press here. Other not.

I do that- put batteries in advance and assemble stuff that need assembling but only because when I didn’t it was a chaos and all I had to listen to was whining of when I’ll be done assembling or realizing I’m out of the correct size batteries etc. this way I have a peaceful Xmas morning as everything is already done on a calm night after kid bedtime.

Same!! Ask DH if she was any good at video games and helped him with levels!!

Yeah I test toys and make sure they have batteries and I'm not a SAHM.

I also make sure consoles are set up and the fuckton of updates are installed. It takes a fair bit of time.

I have to admit, I add batteries, cut any cable ties holding toys in place, and download any apps etc needed, as part of the wrapping process. I also dispose of excess packaging. Saves wrecking my nails on the day.

She sounds very performative. I have a mum like that. It was all big showy gestures and gifts and making sure everyone knew how devoted she was (she’s all about the grandparent memes on social media). Meanwhile, she was a fairly negligent parent in a lot of ways, put me in a lot of harmful situations, and hasn’t seen her only grandchildren in 5 years.

And no I don’t do any of that. If I’m really with it, I’ll remember to actually buy batteries, but that’s it.

Why? It’s true. A SAHM has an extra 40+ hours a week compared to a full time working mum.

That sums it up completely.

Reading the Lego instructions is a tad weird. Lots of reading to do.

I did used to spend Christnas Eve night making up Playmobil sets because the kids want to play with them immediately, they don’t care if they are in a box. And they get nothing from watching you assemble them. Believe me.

I do work too though 🤣

The one year my son had an Xbox driving wheel that didn’t work on Christmas day was awful. I spent hours trying to get it to work. His poor little disappointed face!

So in summary, your MIL is unpleasant but depending on the gift, she’s not wrong that it’s better to put effort in prior to the big day. If you can.

We don’t do this to the extent your MiL law does, and my son is only 3, so he only really has smallish presents, but we made sure the batteries were in everything, we built a playmobil cement mixer and built a toy car park so everything could be used and played with straight away. As he gets older we’ll do stuff like that as appropriate. I wouldnt practise a game or something though! My parents would do similar, not sure about my husband’s family.

Why?

Kids really don't car about materialistic things like packaging if they get the toy they want. Way to shame all the people who buy secondhand though for financial, environmental or just because why not it makes sense reasons.

If my kid was 'upset' that something was brand new and present in unpoened fancy packaging to prove it I would be questioning how I raised them so wrong.

We make sure our household battery bin is stocked (with all types of batteries and its set of little screwdrivers) then tucked away in the corner of the gift-opening room along with some heavy duty scissors, and there’s always at least one pocket knife handy in the group for lighter work.

Depending on the toy I will sometimes cut zip ties as I wrap. If assembly will take a long time on something (bike, climbing structure) we try to do it in advance. Except for our one child who loves building things more than presents themselves and would be dearly disappointed if it were done without them 😂 Actually that one loves that part so much that they’re going to get snuck out of bed one night next month, sworn to secrecy, and bundled over to GP’s to help build a couple of big items for the younger DC & cousins.

The prep we do is as much about making adult lives easier on the actual day than anything else, though.

And when the kids are school age? Of course a SAHM has more time that one working full time! That is not being offensive to SAHMs. All power to them! It’s just a fact!

FT working here and when dc were younger everything was wrapped, difficult packaging like cable ties removed, and where practical tested to avoid disappointment on Christmas morning. Don't see how anyone can say "lucky they were wrapped", there are hours every evening when dc are in bed on the run up to Christmas that working or SAHP can use for wrapping!

Things like x-boxes that took hours to setup/update/download games we would do in advance and put back in the box. When they were a bit older, maybe secondary school, they could do their own consoles, iPhones etc,

Sometime the fun of presents is unboxing it and setting it up, especially for special/big gifts like consoles. I think doing that, and playing the games, might diminish the experience for the recipient

I used cut all the stupid cable ties off the various barbie crap my DD wanted, same with action man, not sure about now but took ages to get action man out off a box.
I did test games consoles as they got older mainly because l bought them second hand and didn't want disappointment on Xmas day...and l was a working single mum.
I would do it over a few evenings in December.
I was happy when they got older and it was just a stocking and cash for boxing day sales.

I 100% did this for my Learning Disabled/ASD child. Nothing worse for DC than frustration!

Since did for LD child, did for the others. Fair is fair.

I’m a parent, do what I need to & what I can. Was full time working during some years. So SAH not required to unbox and test. Easy to put most things back in box without all the twist fixings etc.

Her conduct is definitely not something I'd find admirable or desirable.

It's a very worrying level of helicopter parenting, and sounds like she had some pretty deep seated issues and expectations. Children should be looked after bit also live in the real world.

I also just don't believe her. Even in the 90s I remember getting toys that came in boxes that would just be ruined really, once opened.

Getting stuck in a video game is part of the fun; figuring it out yourself is a great reward and is a very enriching experience.

I guess what I'm saying is, what she is claiming she did is absolutely the polar opposite of what I would do, for so many reasons!

Batteries is as far as we ever went, and the kids would do a much quicker and more efficient job of setting up their consoles than I ever could, so I left them to it - never seemed to bother them.

I’m a SAHM, I don’t have time to do this.