To think no one does this - Christmas toys related

[EvilsElsasPetSnowman]

So MIL once did a judgy shock-face at me when, after asking if I take all the toys out the boxes and test them before Christmas Day, before wrapping them, i said “No of course not!”. She said “Oh I did with all of my kids’ toys! I made sure they had batteries in and that they worked because there’s nothing sadder than if a child can’t enjoy their present on Christmas Day”.

I pointed out that as a SAHM she probably had more time to do stuff like that than I do, and that if a toy doesn’t work I’ll replace it at the earliest opportunity, and the kids will have to live with the disappointment and that it won’t kill them, that’s life.

Anyway she went on to say that not only did she un box and then re box the toys, she would also read Lego instructions so she knew how to build the sets, and get this - if they were getting a computer game she’d set up their consoles and play the game so that if they needed help on a level she’d know what to do to help

She just kept (rather smugly) saying “I always made sure I was prepared when it came to Christmas and that my kids knew I was always there for them if they needed my help with something”. I REALLY felt like saying “Funny how you weren’t there for them when you left their dad and moved in with your new fella and his kids for a year, completely ignoring their existence and not even turning up to parents evening or their sports matches, emotionally scarring all 4 of them, but the real failure as a mother is me as I don’t play Animal Crossing before my son gets to”. But I didn’t.

I think this is totally bonkers? Does anyone actually do this?

Also how in the actual fuck would you ever get toys back in the box?! I asked this and she says “it’s easy they just go in the same as they came out”. She clearly hasn’t met vacuumed toy packaging of the 2020’s some of which needs a hacksaw to even open

YABU = Yep I do this you slovenly woman
YANBU = that’s bat shit crazy and no one does it.

Genuine question, how are kids supposed to learn delayed gratification and patience if they never encounter situations where it's required? It's not like we're talking about making them wait till the shops are open again to get batteries (which I agree wouldn't be fair on them).

Oh come on. They will have waited all month for Christmas. There are plenty of times in the year to learn these things.

If it helps parents to have a good Christmas Day there is nothing wrong with choosing to set toys up in advance!

"And sorry but SAHMs DO have more time for domestic stuff. It’s fine, it’s not a bad thing but I don’t see the point in pretending otherwise. Because parents who work deal with the above too."

You're right OP. Anyone who argues otherwise has not worked full time and raised children. I've been a working mum and a SAHM (although the latter only briefly) and I can tell everyone bloody straight without any qualms which is easier.

I'd like to know how the adults saying kids should learn to wait for told their long awaited gift didn't work because the buyer couldn't be arsed to check I worked before giving it them and they need an instant gratification check. Can imagine the thread now

“Sorry it doesn’t work sweetheart, I will take it back first thing thing.” Thats life. I’d be very worried if a child couldn’t cope with that (although I don’t think it’s ever actually happened IIRC)

I reckon she's riddled with guilt over her terrible mothering your poor DH. Some great tips there though, I hadn't thought to do anything beyond making sure we have batteries.

No because half the fun is figuring out how to open it . I think she's talking rubbish

It wasn’t a dig, it was a fact 🙄

@gamerchick right?? so far I’ve had 2 instances where parts were missing (out of 4 yrs of Xmas with kid) . Last thing I want is hassle to deal with after the holidays when everyone else is also returning etc even if my kid doesn’t mind waiting.
also am I the only person who wants to sit and enjoy their coffee in peace instead of dealing with toy assembly even though it’s Xmas morning?

I think people must be hyping their kids up too much. We had lovely Christmases with our kids. If something was ever (rarely) broken or needed making, my kids waited. Happy to play with something else from their stocking etc. They would never have acted like brats over this stuff. And we have never found making toys up, stressful. Young kids get up soooo early! There is loads of time to make toys and put batteries in.

I think some parents need to relax a bit and not get into a panic that they need to have every present ‘ready to go’ and perfect. If your kids cannot wait an hour or so to play with their new gift, then maybe you need to think why they are behaving like this… Goodness.

Quite.

My dad used to set up our computers as they might have needed an update. I'll probably do the same when my children are older and I can return them if they are broke. Some games now take hours to update and download when you buy them.

My daughter is only 3 and my son is 6 months so I'm opening their presents and putting batteries in before wrapping them this year. I do it when they are in bed and I'm watching I'm a celebrity. I felt last year me and my partner spent ages putting batteries in toys and cutting them from their packaging, that along with getting the dinner ready, I spent very little time playing with them.

This isn’t about batteries and toys or whatever.

you both just sound as if you need to make more effort to get on with one another.

Have done both SAHM and FT work with medically complex children. Whatever the situation of course I had more time to do child/home oriented things as SAHM - that’s the whole point! 😂

We absolutely get on? She just says daft things sometimes and I think this is the daftest by far

I suppose the original question was ‘ Aibu to think that no one does this’ and since a fair bit of people do ‘this’ YABU to think your mil was the only one. YANBU to do what works for you and your family though.

get the hardest console she got her babies. see if she can actually play 🙄

You said you ensure there are batteries etc as needed, that’s the best I can do as well. She sounds annoying AF, but there is really no need to point out she had more time than you etc. It’s possible she has immense guilt over what you revealed about her and the human brain makes up for its regrets. ‘that’s great, but i don’t bother’ is enough of an answer.

My kids eyes do light up at receiving a wanted gift.

They don't suffer for waiting 5 minutes.tingwt it out of the packaging or whatever.

You get on with her? That’s impressive tbh

So I asked DH today in a conversation about Christmas, what the Christmas without his mum was like. He had absolutely no recollection, he was only 9 but can remember Christmases aged 8 and 10. Poor fella.

Playmobil is like Lego why would you build it?

I totally agree with this. It’s indicative IMO of the hyper-over commercialism of Christmas. Heaven forbid the children wait for something their parents have spent an arm and a leg on or have to wait for a day if something needs replaced. It’s almost as if some kids are taught Christmas is only about presents

I was gonna say the same! She may have done some of that stuff but playing a video game so she can help them - absolute rhubarb! Checking out lego instructions can be done as you're building, who's gonna remember a full book of instructions??

Edited as have just spotted you said some kids, which is fair, some probably are. Not all though for sure! Everyone's on their own journey, what works for you may not for others and vice versa. Hard to see with something like this why either way would matter so much to the other.

We do it. My children do not act like brats. They've each asked for one gift and some sweets on their Christmas list. Hardly over commercial. They have plenty of opportunities to wait, share, deal with disappointment etc throughout the year. I don't give in to every whim, or even most of them. But on Christmas morning having the Father Christmas gifts ready to go is part of the magic for us. Not that there's much set up or testing this year with a hot wheels car and a doll.

I remember the excitement of a toy on Christmas morning and my hands being too small to open the plastic and deal with the fixings. Then having to wait for an adult to get batteries etc when they were also busy cooking, hosting, celebrating etc. It likely wasn't a long wait in fairness but as an excited kid it felt like an age. We were raised not to nag adults or be asking for stuff multiple times. There were 5 of us and our mother had little patience. Wasn't worth it to get in trouble so you'd sit there with your tantalising toy you were desperate to play with waiting for someone to help. Guess it's part of me trying to make little things better for the next generation that that's something I try to avoid with the FC gifts. But again just me, you do you.

Great summary!