To think no one does this - Christmas toys related

[EvilsElsasPetSnowman]

So MIL once did a judgy shock-face at me when, after asking if I take all the toys out the boxes and test them before Christmas Day, before wrapping them, i said “No of course not!”. She said “Oh I did with all of my kids’ toys! I made sure they had batteries in and that they worked because there’s nothing sadder than if a child can’t enjoy their present on Christmas Day”.

I pointed out that as a SAHM she probably had more time to do stuff like that than I do, and that if a toy doesn’t work I’ll replace it at the earliest opportunity, and the kids will have to live with the disappointment and that it won’t kill them, that’s life.

Anyway she went on to say that not only did she un box and then re box the toys, she would also read Lego instructions so she knew how to build the sets, and get this - if they were getting a computer game she’d set up their consoles and play the game so that if they needed help on a level she’d know what to do to help

She just kept (rather smugly) saying “I always made sure I was prepared when it came to Christmas and that my kids knew I was always there for them if they needed my help with something”. I REALLY felt like saying “Funny how you weren’t there for them when you left their dad and moved in with your new fella and his kids for a year, completely ignoring their existence and not even turning up to parents evening or their sports matches, emotionally scarring all 4 of them, but the real failure as a mother is me as I don’t play Animal Crossing before my son gets to”. But I didn’t.

I think this is totally bonkers? Does anyone actually do this?

Also how in the actual fuck would you ever get toys back in the box?! I asked this and she says “it’s easy they just go in the same as they came out”. She clearly hasn’t met vacuumed toy packaging of the 2020’s some of which needs a hacksaw to even open

YABU = Yep I do this you slovenly woman
YANBU = that’s bat shit crazy and no one does it.

The only toy I made was the barbie house (28 years ago) it took me all day, I was a childminder so did it on a day when I didn't have kids, I cannot imagine trying to do it around a job and the kids being out of the way. I did enjoy it to be fair.
I'm impressed you managed not to upset the smug cow.

Yabu to ask us!

Fair enough but MIL was a SAHM until DH (the youngest) was 8 and she was talking about his consoles, which he wouldn’t have had as a toddler. So she very much did have many years to do this when they were at school.

Never done any of this except the bikes. The kids want a new unopened box and discovering the bits inside together is part of the fun.

I'm not sure where this thing has come from where people think that not letting your child ever experience any slight discomfort or negative feeling is good parenting.

Playing a game so she can help with a level? God forbid they struggle with something for five minutes without superhero Mum flying in to the rescue.

I honestly can't imagine how hard being thrown into adulthood is for these children. Not to mention their cripplingly low self esteem because they've spent their childhood being told they can't handle even the slightest difficulty themselves.

OP she is absurd and what's she's describing is in no way good parenting to me.

I asked my own mum if she did that and her reply was we are lucky they were even wrapped (FT working single mum of 3 for a long time) 🤣

I would charge up electronics, although most come with a decent charge nowadays. I wouldnt set up a console because you normally have to choose usernames etc and part of the fun is them choosing their own

I made sure I had the right size batteries and a tool kit to hand to fit the flipping things.
The only things we did make in advance (for birthdays) once the kids were in bed were a large climbing frame and the trampoline, both of which we ended up having to complete in the dark 😆

The fact one of his brothers, a man who lived at home until 32 and was never expected to contribute financially when he was there, has a very poor work ethic, can’t parent his DD for toffee and breaks down at any tiny criticism, probably isn’t very surprising.

I'm sure she is all too aware of her own failings as a mother and is trying to score points against you because she is insecure and wants to feel like she was a good mum.

You both know the truth so just nod and smile and rise above it.

I don’t think you are slovenly OP but I pretty much did what your MIL describes (not the Lego) and I have always worked full time in a very demanding job. So you are unreasonable to make this a SAHM issue. Everyone has different priorities and I very much wanted the toy playing and building to go smoothly on Christmas Day. I recall reading up on the rules of games, checking things worked, putting batteries in so things could be played with straight away. Each to their own.

What's wrong with the truth?
SAHMs do have more time available than Mums who have jobs.

We did set up games consoles before as it’s a faff and did make sure to have batteries in but that’s it. I’m quite liking the fact she tried the video games first.

She’s off her head!

I’m a stay at home mum and the most I have ever done is installed the software on my sons PlayStation in advance last year because my brother in law told me it takes a few hours which it did to be fair.

Who’s got the time to read a Lego manual - my kids are lucky if I do that once it’s unboxed by them, never mind before!

We put together some stuff. For DD1, my husband built her dolls house etc the night before, so it was ready to play. Likewise for consoles and stuff he would make sure it was updated and ready just to play. Especially when they are young, stuff that requires construction before use can be a bit of a killjoy on Christmas Day (plus putting batteries in early avoids realising you've run out on the day!). For older kids, they are less likely to have stuff that requires construction anyway, and they are generally better at impulse control and waiting (or doing it themselves).

I add that neither of us are SAHPs, but we make use of the occasional evening once DC are in bed to do stuff like this.

Just to add, it’s not that my children were never allowed to experience disappointment, I just didn’t want it occurring over Christmas if it was avoidable.

Nope. I make sure I've got the batteries, and we've assembled a couple of bikes but no I don't open every toy

Im With you, I’m much more “shout encouragement from the sofa as I sip my Buck’s Fizz” kind of Lego Helper.

We've downloaded the software updates (that took several hours) so consoles of various types could be played on Christmas Day when the children were young, but the rest is just madness.

You should register gaming consoles before Christmas Day. Registration takes a while as does the downloading of software and hardware updates because the servers are busy on Christmas Day. Don’t forget to put the games discs into the machine too because games often have updates.

There’s no need to play the games though. YouTube will have videos of tricky levels.

Tell her she's welcome to come round and do all that for her grandkids since she's practically one of Santa's elves then...
Honestly, sounds like she's trying to justify her motherliness to alleviate her guilt from her big fuck up. Ignore her. You're doing fine x

Sorry what is registering a games console? With whom do I do this?

Im very pleased I posted as I didn’t know this. I thought it was like in t’olden days when you just plug it into the TV. DD got an Occulus for her birthday I don’t remember having to do this, I’m sure we just turned it on

The only thing we ever did was set up consoles and prepare them as sometimes it’s a pain and the children just want to crack on with the games . I knew a school mum who always built all the playmobil type stuff in advance , my kids were the type that wanted to do the building so we didn’t .

I’ve often read on here to build Playmobil beforehand because it takes a while and is very fiddly.

With batteries I note what it takes and make sure I have it in. The kids are happy to put the batteries in themselves.