To think parents shouldn’t bring toddlers to fancy restaurants?

[ThatFancyExpert]

It’s not about “hating kids,” but some places should be reserved for adults who want peace and quiet.

Depends on the age of the child and their behaviour.

Then go to an adult only venue 🤷🏼‍♀️

Depends on the style of restaurant and the time. Sunday afternoon yes. Friday night no.

I've got a 3 year old and a 6 year old and couldn't think of anything worse than the stress of trying to keep them quiet/well behaved.
I'd much rather book a babysitter and go so I can enjoy it (and everyone else can to!)

This again. Yawn.

A fancy restaurant wouldn't allow toddlers. So maybe not that fancy??

Depends on the time you go. If it's a late eve dinner then I can't see any (many?) parents taking the kids. Also depends what you mean by fancy. DH and I eat out a lot and we are rarely bothered by kids/noisy families apart from the pubs and restaurants that we know are family friendly. Parents and kids are allowed to eat out too!

Then the rule should be "no noisy or boisterous diners allowed" and we can bin off all the braying drunks

I would take my three year old to a nice restaurant at lunchtime because I can be fairly certain he'd behave himself. I wouldn't take him in the evening because it would be past his bedtime and he'd be overtired.

Some places are reserved for adults. I'm sure choosing a later meal would also likely mean a more child free atmosphere. Opt for one of those.

Unfortunately, not true. We endured parents trying to force their maybe 3 yr old to eat lobster (he very clearly and loudly did NOT want it) at Marcus Wareing at the Berkeley. A few years back, I admit. But it definitely happens.

What's your definition of fancy?

Context? There are lots of restaurants, often the lively ones in places like Mayfair, that don’t permit kids in the dining room after a certain time so they’re a good bet if you want an adult atmosphere but they’d be the absolute opposite of peace and quiet… So you might need to decide if it’s the kids that bother you or noise in general! Also- lunch service, weekend, located in a hotel, a la carte not tasting menu are all factors that make it more likely you’ll get families so could be things to think about avoiding.

As a parent to a small child who behaves relatively poorly in restaurants, I see both sides of the argument.

I feel terrible any time we bring DD to a nice place and she starts making chaos (at which point one of us will usually wait with her outside/in the car while the other eats), but also, we want to enjoy nice dinners too, without having to pay a ton of money for babysitting every time (all of our family members live pretty far away, so we can't ask them to babysit very often.)

Personally, I love carrying out and eating at home, so DD can be as chaotic as she wants without disturbing others, but DH likes to get out of the house and be served.

There’s a really nice and very expensive restaurant locally to us - Michelin guide, but not a star. Last time we visited (and we’ve been about a dozen times for various special occasions) they put us almost sitting in the laps of a couple with a whinging toddler.

Not only did it spoil our meal, but the couple couldn’t have been having much fun either since one or other of them had to keep taking said whining child out.

Our complaint to staff at the end of the meal (obviously not in the couple’s hearing) fell on entirely deaf ears. It’s put us off returning tbh.

People who are spending upwards of £100 per person don’t want to be sharing their hard earned celebration with somebody else’s bored child.

I feel terrible any time we bring DD to a nice place and she starts making chaos (at which point one of us will usually wait with her outside/in the car while the other eats), but also, we want to enjoy nice dinners too, without having to pay a ton of money for babysitting every time

But not so terrible that you refrain from inflicting your DC’s chaos on other diners who are not her family and so might be quite justified in being irritated, rather than charmed by your DD

To be honest I think the trick is to take them right from the start when you go somewhere more expensive and they learn to behave from the outset. We’ve always taken our Dc except to restaurants with an age restriction ( quite a few in London), mostly because on holiday I don’t like to use hotel babysitters, and I can only think of one time it went wrong - thankfully it was a mid range family restaurant. Dc aged about 18 months threw a piece of pizza off the high chair tray onto the floor and it made quite a mess. But I do think it’s harder for them to start out only going to high street family friendly type places then seek to crank them up to something more upmarket later as they don’t understand that it isn’t just the same as Pizza Express.

Depends, on the time, the child and the restaurant.
I would have taken my DD just about anywhere from the age of 2- 3 as long as it wasn't too late at night. She was always a very quiet and well behaved child and provided there wasn't a really long wait between ordering and the food arriving she was no trouble at all. My DSs on the other hand...no. They were both quite a bit older before we'd go anywhere fancier than the local pub.

Of course you're entitled not to want to share a restaurant with children but if you want adults-only then you need to choose an adults-only venue.

Haven't we all had this debate a couple of weeks ago?

We went to Ox in Belfast a few years back, it has a Michelin star ( So 'fancy). It was evening time and a couple came in with their child who was about 3 or 4.

He was incredibly well behaved and the three of them looked like they were having a really good time .

Would I have taken mine? Absolutely not!

I wouldn't expect someone to bring toddlers to a Michelin starred restaurant in the evening.
But rich people with kids like to eat out too. I do think that it's good to get children used to eating nicely at the table and talking/listening, not making a mess etc. But obviously you should start with things like the caff, then pizza express, then graduate up to more formality.
I can't say I often see small children eating out on the evenings except in fairly casual family orientated places. As long as they behave and don't disrupt others I don't really mind the age of the other diners.

I honestly cannot see any enjoyment from a meal where the entire time is spent trying to contain a child who does not want to be there, trying to stop them disturbing others and then ending up eating separately while the other watches the child in the car. How is that enjoying a nice dinner?!

We don't eat out much anyway but pretty much completely stopped when children were toddlers because it was no fun. They are now 6 and 7 and able to behave perfectly in a restaurant - not taking them from a young age did not strip them of the ability to do so

I've a 3 year old and I agree 100% . My little terror has no place at a fancy restaurant, I can't think of anything worse for me then trying to keep him entertained in such a setting. I certainly wouldn't want to inflict him on others who are spending a lot of money to have a good time. Certain places like nice restaurant and pubs are not for children.

Some people can’t easily get childcare so no I don’t think it’s unreasonable to take your children to a fancy restaurant. They may not be able to go at all if they don’t bring the kids along.
However, is it ok for children to be disruptive at a fancy restaurant? In my opinion no.
One of mine has additional needs and we don’t have many people we could ask to babysit. If we take her out somewhere like this, we will take plenty of things to keep her entertained and she’s usually quiet and well behaved. We do this knowing if she has a bad day or is just not happy, we’ll leave. I also would only do this during the day, if I kept mine up late and took them to a restaurant, the over-tiredness would probably be awful!