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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think a child doesn't need EVERYTHING brand new

146 replies

milliec · 28/04/2008 16:01

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
treelover · 29/04/2008 09:37

i buy everything new, BUT, if i see a toy in a charity shop they would like, then i am quite likely to get it for them. if its cleanish, and in good condition, then its a bargain. i also get hand me downs from friends, but i dont buy second hand clothes, silly non logical habit of mine.
this woman needs a reality check.

talilac · 29/04/2008 09:42

I have way too much old stuff cluttering up my house that I've been keeping "just in case", or to ebay or whatever.

Inspired by this thread I got in touch with the local women's refuge last night to offer it to them, they replied straight away saying "yes yes yes!"

Its been said here elsewhere, but the lady from the refuge told me that a lot of the women they help have literally nothing but the clothes that they stand up in. My old stuff - clothes, toys, books, videos, dvds, unused toiletries - will help people in rotten circumstances start fresh, and that is amazing to me considering that its just cluttering up my house at the moment. Thanks to you all for inspiring me to send that email last night.

GrapefruitMoon · 29/04/2008 09:45

I think the woman in the OP probably has some deep-seated insecurities.... maybe she hasn't always had money and so wants to prove how well-off she is now by this sort of attitude.

The one truly posh person I know (family have been country squires in home counties for zillions of years) has absolutely no qualms about accepting hand-me-downs for her kids and is quite open about it.... in fact most people I know, rich or poor are quite happy to pass clothes around/accept offers of outgrown clothes.

I rarely buy clothes for my boys - they get given new clothes as presents from extended family and loads of good quality (including designer) stuff as hand-me-downs from friends.

ChairmumMiaow · 29/04/2008 12:59

Someone's got to buy the new clothes to start them off on their rounds but yes, throwing them away is crazy.

We've hardly bought anything new between presents and hand me downs. A (new) friend recently asked if we'd be offended if she passed on her old baby stuff! I wondered why she thought that and now I can see. We also got cot, crib and bath from SIL, and only bought a new moses basket cos hers was a bit too battered.

We're handing one batch of hand-me-downs back to their original owners, and everything I got from SIL, and bought new is going to SIL's sister who is due with a boy in August. (well she's going to come round and pick what she needs)

People are crazy!

blueshoes · 29/04/2008 13:18

love your name, ChairmumMiaow!

AbbeyA · 29/04/2008 13:38

I have never kept it a secret that I buy second hand stuff! I wash it before they wear it!!! I buy new as well but I always pass it on or sell it. Anyone who has to have all new stuff for a baby, who couldn't care less what it wears, has a lot of insecurities.

becaroo · 29/04/2008 13:55

I must admit I find it difficult to find pepole who want my second hand stuff!

My ds is nearly 5 and I have resorted to putting his clothes in charity bags and clothes bins because if I offer them to people I get turned down. (my sister is very much of the same mind as the lady the OP spoke to!)

I live in a smoke and pet free home and his stuff is worn (obivously) but of good quality.

I am expecting my second child and am borrowing cots, moses baskets and allsorts of things!

lollipopmother · 29/04/2008 14:04

I would have no problem at all buying nearly-new things, I fully intend to do it. I buy second hand things for myself all the time, I can't see an issue with it. I was going to buy a second hand Zeddy teddy but my partner pointed out that I'd have to wash it first and it'd probably lose its softness which I conceeded was a possibility, but for normal clothes that babies will only wear a couple of times anyway I'd have no problems with buying second hand.

Iklboo · 29/04/2008 14:04

We bought lots of stuff second hand. It saved us a fortune

misdee · 29/04/2008 14:08

i am currently on the look out for a second hand changing unit, ikea dikvad i think its called [goes to check ebay again]

Ripeberry · 29/04/2008 14:16

I love going to charity shops and looking at the baby/toddler clothes.
Its the only way to buy designer labels at a sensible price
I've bought a couple of snowsuits on E-bay and lots of Xmas presents, would cost a fortune otherwise.

AbbeyA · 29/04/2008 15:58

I much preferred buying unusual,good quality, clothing second hand than cheap new stuff.

bogie · 29/04/2008 16:02

I only ever have hand me downs and second hand stuff because we can't afford to buy new.
All the stuff me and ds wear no one could tell it was second hand its always in really good condition.

seeker · 01/05/2008 10:29

We always have hand me downs and charity shop stuff because it's better for the planet, it's one in the eye for big business and it allows dd to make catstrophic fashion mistakes without breaking the bank. What's not to like?

jammi · 01/05/2008 14:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

CorrieDale · 01/05/2008 18:21

How unbelievably stupid! I've heard many people define 'good' parenting (e.g. good mothers don't smoke, don't smack, don't use jars, don't buy non-organic, etc) but don't buy second hand clothes???????

DD has worn Ebay finds, NCT finds, charity shop finds, hand-downs from friends, even her brother's clothes. She looks adorable in them all.

barnstaple · 01/05/2008 18:35

We get everything from charity shops etc. This is the first year (dd's 8) that we have been able to afford new clothes for her, and I indulged hugely (about £200 on new summer stuff!). Boy, was it fun! It won't happen again for the foreseeable future and this lot should last a few years. It will then go to charity shops. Next time I get a nice windfall like that it'll be new clothes for me!

The woman you describe is outrageous. I don't care what she spends on clothes or where she gets them, but to bin them when she's finished with them is the height of selfishness and stupidity.

AbbeyA · 01/05/2008 18:41

I can't imagine why you would turn down perfectly good hand me downs to buy something new for the sake of it, especially at the age where they grow out of them so quickly.

abgirl · 01/05/2008 19:54

Buy almost everything child related from ebay unless relatives offer to buy something for them, otherwise anything new is bought in the sales. Could afford new but chose to spend the money on other things, like saving for DC's futures. Also sell off old baby stuff on ebay, often making more than I bought it for - again don't need the money but it stops our house/loft getting cluttered. Anything that doesn't sell goes to charity, am v anti throwing stuff away, what a waste!

FourJays · 01/05/2008 20:01

It makes me so happy to see the little boy who lives behind us enjoying clothes that belonged to DSs.

blithedance · 01/05/2008 20:46

I would (and do) buy almost anything secondhand. I was just thinking today (as I threw the Mothercare catalogue in the recycling) that if I had my time again I would know that virtually everything you need can be got nearly-new. I know baby clothes don't have much resale value, so why buy new in the first place? And we were kindly given so many things for our boys.

I am a bit that the person the OP was talking about would not even give bits to a charity shop to raise money for a good cause.

Smithy · 01/05/2008 20:54

I buy virtually all my clothes (for me) second hand. Get loads of positive feedback about outfits and styling!

Most of the boys stuff is charity / second hand too. Bought ds2 a lovely sweater last week with the St George flag on it. The number of comments about "such a nice jumper etc"!

Such a narrow minded woman - still all the more bargains for the rest of us!

BibiThree · 01/05/2008 21:11

Nearly everything dd1 had at birth was second hand, either from sil or colleagues, or the bulletin boards at work. She had a new travel system and a few new outfits and toys, but my dts have almost everything second hand, except the new things other people have bought them.

I am planning to pass on our baby things to my best friend if she wants them, and am in the process of boxing up my maternity clothes for her.

I blimmin' love rifling through bags of things from friends, and get to try things on myself and dds that i wouldn't have picked myself.

Elasticwoman · 01/05/2008 21:24

Milliec: the mum at your nursery has more money than sense and obviously didn't get her Thrift badge in the Brownies.

No wonder the landfill sites are full to overflowing.

doublethetrouble · 01/05/2008 21:39

My son gets nearly everything handed down. I have very kind friends with good taste who have had 6 boys between them and I think its great. I'm always getting complimented on his clothes and whats the point in buying new stuff when there is already good clothes passed down from friends. Although my friends dont expect it I buy there kids the odd treat to thank them so everybody is happy.

This woman obviously has more money than sense. I can afford new and do sometimes but getting 2nd hand clothes means I'm being more environmentally friendly and don't need to work all hours so my children get to spend more time with me.

Got a my son a Ralph Lauren shirt on Saturday from a nearly new sale. It cost me £1.50...I'm so proud!.