Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think a child doesn't need EVERYTHING brand new

146 replies

milliec · 28/04/2008 16:01

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Original poster
milliec · 28/04/2008 18:40

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
BouncingTurtle · 28/04/2008 18:45

What a bloody wagon she is!

Did you remember to tug your forelock to her and say yes ma'am?

MrsTittleMouse · 28/04/2008 18:45

It just gets worse doesn't it?

Mrspanic · 28/04/2008 18:46

What a loon ! binning it !

i have 4 dcs and we're well off . Most of their stuff is new but I have no hesitation buying 2nd hand blazers etc for rapidly growing ds1 at the school shop. Equally his stuff goes to ds2 or back to the uniform shop.
Little ds3 was in a nursery concert and needed some kit we ddidn't have at home. Sorced it from Oxfam, along with 3 or 4 immaculate tops of excellent quality for about 50p each.

What's not to like ?
Take the point though about always wearing ill fitting hand me downs possibly not being fair on a child if parents can afford otherwise, but it's SO wasteful not to recycle, either within the family or via charity/ refuge/ ebay/freecycle, or some other how.

bozza · 28/04/2008 18:50

DD has had a lot more handmedowns than DS. But that is because in the 3 years between DS and DD I got to know people with children. DS is on the small side though so does get trousers handed down from taller friends of the same age. DD has a wardrobe literaly bursting with handmedowns or gifts - at least 80% I would say. Far too many clothes. 20odd skirts etc. Will obviously be worn infrequently and passed on when done.

Some of DS's clothes are on their third wear having gone through DS and first nephew and now on second nephew.

bozza · 28/04/2008 18:51

I have received handmedowns for DD with the tags still on...

HappyMummyOfOne · 28/04/2008 18:59

DS does have everything new but I do pass on everything he outgrows to either charity or friends that would like them.

Would do the same even if we had more than one as my sister lived in my clothes and was always sad she got second hand clothes whilst mine were always new - it wasnt fair and I did feel sorry for her.

blueshoes · 28/04/2008 19:02

milliec, lol that she thinks you have to be in financial difficulties to use second hand clothing. I think she just cannot get her head around why anyone would use hand-me-downs if they had a choice.

I think she is rather sad, really.

Crunchie · 28/04/2008 19:13

milliec she was at least trying. She obviously realsied she had upset you - she may have got completely the wrong end of the stick, but she tried to say saoory and now you think she is worse.

Anyway FWIW I started out having the mix of 2nd hand and new, loads of hnadmedowns/ebay etc. BUT as my kids get older I find I do buy new (mine are now 7 and 9) becasue I prefer them to try it on, they have strong opinions of what they like and less people pass on stuff to us!! I also find their clothese get well and truely wrecked by the time they have finished with them and they are rarely in good enough condidtion to sell on/pass on. I do have 2 dd's so everything I buy is large for DD1, she has it 2 years and then I get another 2 from DD2!!!

I try to get grown out cardis etc for school as my DD's are the smallest in their class, but no-one offers!!

DOn't be too harsh on the woman, she maybe bonkers but some poepl just can't stand the idea of 2nd hand, and really see it as a siggn of poverty. I would talk to her and aplogise yourself tbh - agree to differ IYKWIM

llareggub · 28/04/2008 19:19

I must admit I think it is absolutely shameful that my son has so many clothes. He is a PFB and a first grandchild so we did go a bit mad clothes-wise to begin with. We had lots bought for him as well. DH's cousin has a son 6 months older so we get lots of hand-me-downs and sometimes DS doesn't get to wear half of what he has been given.

I've more or less stopped buying clothes for him and he still has lots.

I've bagged up bundles of clothes and I am going to pass them on to my teenage pregnant cousin.

I have a bundle of precious items to keep for the next one. I could never throw baby clothes away. They hardly get worn out, do they?

kategarden · 28/04/2008 19:19

I think it is quite sad that anyone would feel like that as a parent (especially throwing in the bin). I can understand totally though if DC's objected as they got older trying to buy new if possible. I still remember (age about 10) being so thrilled when being bought 'real' shop clothes as opposed to home-made.
Mind you, my DD's favourite dress is a hand-me-down - I just discovered recently that it was made about 14 years ago by one of our friends for her niece who is now 18. I think its so sweet to think of all these little girls up and down our valley wearing and loving it over all these years.

seeker · 28/04/2008 19:23

We have a lot of hand me downs and charity shop buys. My dd is 12 now, and we do a lot of negociating about what the money gets spent on. Usually now we buy her messing around clothes at charity shops so that she can spend more money on going out clothes. She chooses how she wants to spend the available clothes budget - and very soon realized that if the needed some plain t shirts, buying them for 50p from a charity shop gave her more money to spend on invisibly short skirts from New Look!

I have also always talked a lot about the impact on the environment of buying lots of new clothes, and also the undeniable fact that cheap cloths are made by children her age and younger working is sweatshops.

scottishmummy · 28/04/2008 19:24

oh i just gave a huge bundle of mine away and the recipient really happy.

BUT some peope are funny i offerd same HUGE bundle many BN to someone and they got all humphy and thought i was insinuating that they could not afford baby clothes

fwiw i have no problemo with 2nd hand -just give it a wash.

lljkk · 28/04/2008 19:29

Crikey, Millie, I think this lady takes snobbery to a new level.
I would have smiled sweetly, said yes to her castoffs, and put them onfreecycle or taken to charity shop, etc.

Fair enough, if she only wants new stuff for her own dd. But not intending to pass items on to 'poor folk in the third world', or however she wants to think of those less fortunate than herself, that's what bothers me. Such an enormous waste.

I am giving away loads of baby clothes right now (stuff people gave me). I may try to flog some, The next nicest stuff goes to charity shops, the good enough stuff goes on freecycle (I have a rag pile too).

My mother made all her children's clothes, too, until I was 7 or 10 or so. I think that's what most women did until the 1970s. I can remember Mom was kind of sad when she had to stop because she realised she could buy my clothes cheaper than she could make them. My mom made her own wedding dresses, too.

blueshoes · 28/04/2008 19:29

agree, scottishmummy. Some people are funny about accepting hand-me-downs. I offer only if I know them very well and always with a slightly apologetic tone. I only give away the best stuff as well.

lljkk · 28/04/2008 19:33

I always say, "Would you be offended if I offered you..." -- most people are only not offended, they bite my hand off! I barely know anyone to offer clothes to, right now. One lady is getting DD's 2nd hand stuff, but I don't know anybody with baby boys who needs stuff (and a freecycler failed to show up for some stuff I offered her last week.)

I have several bin bags to go, too.

kategarden · 28/04/2008 19:35

Know what you mean about feeling funny offering - most of my close friends have boys, so no passing on to them. Freecycle is good, or when DD was younger everything went to her childminder who would pass it on to people either through her minding or through church.
When we lived in Spain everything went to Caritas (church charity) as I wouldn't DARE offer 2nd hand clothes to a proud Spanish mum

LittleMy34 · 28/04/2008 19:35

I got all PFB about DS1 and insisted on new buggy and carry cot (mostly because I hated the colour of the one offered , but got second hand cot and now am a regular charity shop/Freecycler!

Think the PFB thing wears off quick.....

talilac · 28/04/2008 19:57

lljkk - Honestly, if you can be arsed, stick it on ebay. Have a search under mixed bundles, they all sell. I know this because I keep getting outbid on things!

Other option is offering it out via your local NCT group - I know someone who did this and got 15 replies!

BabieWabbit · 28/04/2008 20:07

YANBU at all! I can't immagine just binning things when i'm done...If second hand things are in good condition i can't see the problem.

Yurtgirl · 28/04/2008 20:12

Millec - I wonder what she would say if you suggested she took it to a charity shop

I consider bargain hunting to be one of my favourite pastimes

TBH I am appalled at the wasteful way this woman and others like her behave

Original poster
milliec · 28/04/2008 20:29

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
chunkychips · 28/04/2008 20:42

What a buffoon! Living in another world. Some of my favourite outfits for dc (and me) have been from Ebay and charity shops. What a shameful waste to chuck it all in the bin. Even if she doesn't want to buy stuff from charity shops, what's wrong with taking your old clothes there. I wouldn't bother speaking to her any more. She'll wind you up every time she opens her mouth.

lilolilmanchester · 28/04/2008 20:54

I guess it's up to her (and more fool her) if she wants to buy new stuff all the time. But I think it's really ignorant to comment on your buying stuff second hand and I think it's selfish not to think of all the people who could benefit from her DD's "cast offs". Silly mare.

blueshoes · 28/04/2008 20:55

My nursery openly asks parents for second hand clothes. In case any of the littles need a change and don't have one in their bag.