Another baby so soon after our first - AIBU?

[FranG65]

Hi guys, I’m wondering if I’m just a lunatic or if anyone else has experienced being super keen for trying for/ having another baby when they still have a young baby?
My firstborn is now 5 months old, and for the last few weeks I’ve had increasing thoughts of wanting to get pregnant again soon and have baby #2. I’m researching baby names and finding myself thinking through the logistics of 2 young babes, imagining what life would look like, that I need to check on work’s maternity policy, etc. Is this normal? I get so broody seeing tiny babies when I’m out and about too.
I feel SO excited at the thought of having another but also so guilty that I’m not just completely enjoying my first baby without even thinking of next baby.
I know many people have had babies as close together as this, if not closer, but I had always assumed it was usually an unplanned pregnancy the second time around. Help! I need either talking out of this if I’m being unreasonable or I need for others to share their similar feeling if I’m not alone haha. I know ultimately everyone is ready for more children at totally different times, but curious to know if many others have wanted another this soon.

For your health and the health of your 2nd baby, it's best to wait at least 12 months between giving birth and trying to conceive again, longer if 1st was a c section. This allows your body to fully recover, your uterus to restore tone, mineral and nutrient stores to replenish.

Of course, I'm sure you will get 'survivor bias' stories where people comes on and say they had 2 close together and was fine, and many will. But it does increase the risk of complications for both you and baby to have 2 close together.

I've got a smaller age gap than that and it turned out ok, albeit nearly killing me at times during the first 5 years 😂

Just realised I proved a point - hahaha!

Having DC in any age gap has pros and cons but for me, it was important to have the best of my health as healthcare professionals recommend having a gap of 2 years because that's the time it takes your body and nutrients to replenish after childbirth as it's takes a huge toll on your body. Also, I wanted to give both my DC focussed time, hence planned DC2 when DC1 was about to get funded hours etc so I can spend enough 1:1 time looking after both of them when they were babies. But, that's me, I want to give as much equal focussed time and resources to them as possible.

My first two are 18 months apart and they are so close. It's been absolutely wonderful, I wouldn't change it for the world. Sure it was tough at times but they have gone through a lot together, like potty training, pretty much at the same time.

My youngest is currently 5mo and we are not using protection. I would not be mad if I fell pregnant rn!

My body has been fine, other than my pelvic floor... But that's on me to do my exercises!

I distinctly remember being super broody in the first few months after having the kids. From about 6/7 months + it wears off. Must be some natural biological urge to have more whilst you're still in the zone so to speak.
Close-ish age gap here due to contraception fail (or rather we thought we'd be fine!) but even after our twins I had the ridiculous urge to get pregnant again for a good few months. Happy to say once it had passed it was gone forever! 😅
Edited for typo

There is 17 months between my two, but second born was 2 months early so should really be 19 months
They have always been very close and I found it saved money as I wasn’t out of the workplace for as long and they were at the same stages of things which sometimes made it cheaper eg there was only one year when they were at different schools which cost more in childcare for holidays etc

Other than the health considerations, I think its down to finances and priorities/preferences
We had a 3.5 year age gap which was perfect for us. We had focused time with DD1 before DD2 came along, and DD1 was established in nursery before DD2 arrived, so had focused time with DD2. It also meant I was in mat leave when DD1 started school, so could do the several week reception settling period without stress.
They are the best of friends, but occupy their own 'space', there is no competition as they are at different stages, have own friends, be own person. School doesn't compare them to each other as one is infants and one juniors.
The 3.5 year wasn't intentional, it took us well over a year to conceive the 2nd after the 1st being a honeymoon baby, but we strongly feel it was absolutely the best outcome for us.

I definitely think it’s normal to get a bit broody around this time as your baby is no longer a tiny newborn and seems so big! I used to feel jealous of pregnant women even though I hated being pregnant! I have a 4 month old and a toddler, there is 19 months between them. Personally i’d try to enjoy soaking up at least a few more special months with your firstborn, my 2nd pregnancy was so much worse in terms of sickness and I had PGP which meant I couldn’t get out much and I felt so guilty for my first. Some maternity policies expect you to return for at least a few months before being off again, some up to a year.

When I had a baby the age yours is I was already 8 weeks pregnant. That said it was my 5th and 6th baby so a bit different. It had its positives and its negatives. I think it's quite common to feel broody when you have a young baby.

I got pregnant with my second when my first was 5 months old. It was hard work but definitely didn’t affect my health. The pregnancy was much easier than the first as was the labour. DDs are really close as adults now and they were when growing up too.

I fell pregnant at 8 months pp. Going okay so far

I had 15 months between my first two and it was my favourite age gap of all of them. I had 4 children in 6 years. So much fun having them all grow up together! Oh and mine were all c sections.

15 months between my first 2, the first year was hard but they are great friends and played so nicely together.

I have 2 close together - both girls. Just over a year apart. DD1 was planned - I came off the pill and fell pregnant within 2 months. Then my periods were all over the place after she was born, and I didn't go back on the pill right away, and when DD was 6-7 months old I found out I was a few months pregnant with DD2. Unplanned but very much wanted and loved. 😍

We didn't think 'oh no what shall we do?' We just went with it. They were golden babies to be honest and always played lovely together as children, and were fun and polite, and were Angels to have around. We had the best Christmases and holidays and day trips together!

When they hit their teens though - 13 and 14... OMG I don't know how I got through it! 😆 They fought half the time for about 3 years, and were so sullen and argumentative. (Older DD was the worst!) They fought with other girls at school too. Every other month there was a row with one of the mums! (Always me they had a go at - never DH!)

College years were better - and the childish bickering stopped, and they went to uni. Both at the same time as DD1 had a gap year and had a job for a year (as she couldn't decide whether to go to uni.) So they went at the same time. Different unis too - 150 miles apart, and both 150-200 miles from us. That was fun! 😩 OMG the stress and the money it cost and the travelling and everything that went with having a child at uni - times 2! I don't know how we did it!

But they left for uni, and never came back .. Both late 20s, now, and live close to each other, (with their DP,) about 20-25 miles from us. We have the 2 most wonderful young women in the world in our lives now ... Clever, hard working, successful, happy, healthy, beautiful young women, and I wouldn't change a thing if I could go back in time 30 years!

I had 14 months between my first two, had no idea you were supposed to wait 12 months to recover until this post!

I then had a 2.5 year gap to my third and that was much harder to cope with.

If first birth was c section, need to wait at least 18 months before second c section to reduce the chance of uterine rupture and placental abnormalities.

I was super broody when my first was between four and six months. I have a theory it was my body trying to convince me to get pregnant again before the cute baby stage wore off and the difficult toddler stage took over and put me off!

In the end we had fertility issues and there’s a three year gap between DC1 and DC2, but it worked out well for us.

I had a c section and was pregnant again 8 months later. Two so close in age was very difficult in the early years but they're fairly close now in their early teens.

I had 13m between my first two..and 12 months later had number three! So all three in 2 years 3 months.
Never regretted it. It was tiring of course but they grew up enjoying the same activities as toddlers, follwed each other to nursery and school and are very close now as adults. Mostly it was fun.
The teen years were a bit tricky at times but we survived!
My body suffered a bit though!

Personally I think it's easier than a big gap as we weren't trying to accomodate wildly different needs and wants, but the sleep deprivation was a bit of a killer!

Thanks everyone, appreciate your comments and glad to know I’m not alone in my feelings! I think we’ll try again once DS is a year, or near enough. Hopefully I can hold off that long 😂

Ah this really put a smile on my face, thanks for sharing your lovely story of your girls 😊 it sounds like it all worked out so well!

Mine are 13 months apart. If you love being a mum then you might regret having them too close together. My time being a mum is 19 years long rather than, say 22 or whatever. My two adore each other and are thick as thieves on everything - they’re basically twins, but my goodness, I’d have taken a few more years of snuggles from the youngest when the eldest wasn’t interested anymore over them both eyerolling and then shutting themselves away to listen to music 🙂

Bless you for saying that! And all the best with whatever you decide! 😘

My first 2 are 14 months apart, and then I've got a 19 month gap for the third. My only regret is not packing 'em in sooner. Defo think close together is best overall - they share a childhood and have a comparable playmate throughout. It's much easier in terms of doing things when their ages/abilities/interests are similar.