Another baby so soon after our first - AIBU?

[FranG65]

Hi guys, I’m wondering if I’m just a lunatic or if anyone else has experienced being super keen for trying for/ having another baby when they still have a young baby?
My firstborn is now 5 months old, and for the last few weeks I’ve had increasing thoughts of wanting to get pregnant again soon and have baby #2. I’m researching baby names and finding myself thinking through the logistics of 2 young babes, imagining what life would look like, that I need to check on work’s maternity policy, etc. Is this normal? I get so broody seeing tiny babies when I’m out and about too.
I feel SO excited at the thought of having another but also so guilty that I’m not just completely enjoying my first baby without even thinking of next baby.
I know many people have had babies as close together as this, if not closer, but I had always assumed it was usually an unplanned pregnancy the second time around. Help! I need either talking out of this if I’m being unreasonable or I need for others to share their similar feeling if I’m not alone haha. I know ultimately everyone is ready for more children at totally different times, but curious to know if many others have wanted another this soon.

Honestly, hold off until your baby is properly on the move! So far you've experienced potato baby stage. Not without it's challenges, but it's very very different from mobile children! If once you've got a mobile child, you can cope with the idea of two mobile children, then go for it 😀

I felt very much the same as you btw (I discussed trying for number 2 a week after I had my first 😂), but I held off for a year, conceived immediately and had 2u2 for a while. I find it easy whilst the youngest was at potato stage, but flipping hard when they would both go in opposite directions and I needed eyes everywhere!

Two closeish together is great (mostly) now they are a bit older though.

Wow! Do you mind me asking if your baby sleeps well? I always wondered how people had them so close / had the energy to even consider it! Mine still woke every 2-3hours at 5months so wasn't even a consideration for me, only now thinking about it at 2! Always interested in people that consider it early!
And btw - you do whatever feels right for you, there's no right or wrong ❤️

Best thing l ever did OP

I’m one of those!
14 months between first and second babies both c-sections. Then 22 months between number 2 and number 3 babies- another c-section. All healthy big babies. And all great pregnancies, although recovery was harder after the 2nd & 3rd.

I went on to have number 4 c-section a few years after the first three. All healthy and all grown up now with their own babies.

Dd had only 15 months between her first 2, obviously hard work at first but they were very close and loving to each other from very early on.

No opinion on the morals or sense of it, it’s up to you! But speak to your GP before trying as it’s generally advised to wait a year before TTC again, for your and your baby’s health. A GP can give you advice which is more tailored to your circumstances.

I was pregnant again 6 months after I gave birth so there's 15 months between my two.
It's all a bit of a blur really but I think I did ok 😁

I had two in 18m and it is HARD! I then had the 3rd 2y 1m later so you do forget 🤣

What was harder about the bigger age gap if you don’t mind me asking?

I was very broody around then. I realised I was just broody for my baby as a day old / week old etc. I didn't actually want another one I just wanted to not let go of the moments that were slipping through my fingers... Not sure if that makes sense! Obviously lots of people do want a small gap buf for me it Wasn't right.

I wouldn't be wasting my precious maternity leave with my child on morning sickness and midwife appointments tbh. I'll wait until I go back to work, thanks

Enjoy your first baby without the distraction of a second so soon, it’s the hormones playing tricks on your mind

give your body and mind a break

i had a 3 year age gap which has been just about manageable for us but I underestimated how hard pregnancy would be when you’ve already got another child.

my first was fully toilet trained ready for the baby arriving and his speech has come on so much I’ve found it far easier to explain to him risk / danger around the baby and why I can’t get something right now for him because I’m feeding the baby etc. the difference even in a 3 year age gap compared to a 2 year age gap has been huge in terms of my eldest’s development

My boys are 16 months apart and I was never told, not once, that I was at increased risk of complications because of the age difference. And I had a c section!

Have never understood how people get that way when they're sleep deprived and in the trenches. Why make life twice as difficult by doing it again so soon😱🤦‍♀️

My brother and I are 10 months apart, which is wild. Thankfully born in different years.

I have DS(6) and DD(4.5 months). DD took three years of trying, miscarriages and a major loss in between, and was a result of IVF. I asked my OB and IVF doctor when we should try again because I’ve heard the 12 months thing but didn’t want to wait too long in case IVF took another 2-3 years and they both said as long as I was healthy and it was an uncomplicated delivery and postpartum I could start trying after my six week check if I wanted too. I’m currently 5 weeks pregnant naturally and excited for the small age gap if this one sticks.

Following with interest as I feel the same OP, I’m ovulating right now and it’s taking a lot of restraint not to ttc! My brother is only 10 months older than me so I grew up with a close sibling age gap. I’m also 35 so feel like my clock is ticking.

My mum had 4 of us in 5 years. My brothers fall in the middle, and there’s just 11 months between them. I’m not sure how she managed to be honest.

my son has 2 girls 13 months apart, and they seem to do ok, I have custody of 2 girls 16 months apart and it’s damned near killing me. Then again, I am 51 so that probably plays a part.

Mine are all spaced out so it's easy in hindsight I suppose to see it so differently. 17, 14, 9 and 7. There's no way I would have wanted them close together, would have made it too exhausting.

So I loved being pregnant and despite my DD horrific birth with both of us nearly dying and she was born natural with an episiotomy not 30min after she was skin to skin the midwife asked if I was OK and I said yep would do this all again tomorrow. 6mth later I got pregnant with our DS they are 15mth apart can be very close as well as argue like cats and dogs. I have always worked FT 40hr per week as has DH I went back when my DD was 9mth but then I was only back 5mth before being back off and with holidays at the beginning of mat leave ( full entitlement) then full 6mth full pay and 13 week stat then 1 week unpaid took my new years entitlement so actually had quite a bit of time off with both of them together which was great. I would loved to have had a 3rd though not so close to the other two but I honestly found having only 15mth between them actually easier to manage but and this is a big but I was very very lucky DD slept through from 11week DS 13 weeks and that's only because he had 2 weeks intensive 2hr wake up feeds as he lost weight as struggling to get enough on the noob so we had to do half and half. He also struggled with his bronchial Airways opening at night which meant every cold turned to infections leading to perforated ear drums but that didn't stop him sleeping he never fussed about his ears even his nursery were shocked how calm he was about it

Also a valid point.

Use your current maternity leave to savour time with your first born. Why waste it with your head stuck down a loo? Just enjoy seeing your first grow and develop. There's plenty of time to think about expanding your family. What's the rush?

I was already pregnant by the time my youngest was 5 months, I'd had a c section too, so definitely not advised....Two years of hell, but at 4 and 5, it's wonderful now! Short-term pain, long-term game. All their clubs, interests, and activities are the same. They bicker sometimes, but generally play together well, and life is good!

Mine at 20 months apart and best mates, the first year nearly killed me but after that it got easier in leaps and bounds. Now they play together and ignore me most of the time so I can drink my coffee in peace.

It's not unusual to be thinking about more babies at this stage. It may have something to do with your hormones... but I would strongly advise against it, just because you need time for your body to heal from your last pregnancy. At least a year. Some women have back-to-back with no complications, but others... are not so lucky.

That was unfortunately a failure on the part of the healthcare team with your first to not warn you, especially with the c section. They won't tell you once you are already pregnant the 2nd time as there is no point.

But maybe I'm biased as a developmental paediatrician, we see children where things didn't go well during pregnancy/delivery, and close pregnancies are common in the children we see. Of course most will be fine, but the risks are higher

I felt like this pre 6 months, but then she started to move, sleep less, teething, grab things she shouldn’t. Basically things got harder! She’s 10 months now and I definitely want to wait another year at least before baby 2 so she’s older and a bit more controllable!