Who is wrong - lottery winning question

[MidnightMilkman]

Tonight is £140m on the euros.
Just had a row my DH over spending the money 😆😆

One of us would give immediate family members a good amount (e.g. £3m each) which would still leave us with over £100m. I'm talking siblings. Parents may get a bit more. Kids can have what they want.

The other would pay their mortgages off and occasionally take them on holiday, but wouldn't give them any other money.

Who is being unreasonable?

YABU: paying off their mortgage is enough and they should be greatful for that

YANBU: give them £3m and let them make their own decisions what they do with it

Rather depends on if you like your family members......

I had a massive fight with my abusive ex when I suggested I would share a very generous amount with charities in 3rd world countries

He went ballistic with me saying I would do more damage than good 🙄

Anyway
The decent friends and family would be at the top of my list for sure

I would give most of it away. That's an astronomical amount of money and it would be very isolating to have so much.

I'd give them the money! Paying off the mortgage specifically is unfair. What if one sibling owes £75k through overpayments and the other just borrowed £500k?

ETA: I also work for a small firm of 8 and I'd give them something too. Maybe £250k each.

I would do an even amount to each of them. Like Suzuki above said, one may have better financial sense than the other, or be at a different stage of life.

I think the best thing would be to keep £5 million and invest it in 4% savings. That would give you a regular income of £200,000 a year, which would be good, but not enough to be isolating. Then give the rest away.

I would not tell a soul I won it, bank it, work and continue as normal for a few months. And then decide how to divide/spread around.

Any gift would be generous.

I'd be very very concerned about privacy so I wouldn't be flinging cash gifts around.

I also think I'd rather spend the money on causes that need it than enabling someone to buy a fast car and designer bags, which would primarily be the case in my family. I would happily buy property for my siblings and would establish trust funds for my nieces and nephews.

I wouldn't be giving my family millions. I'd be working for a year or so then retiring based on good "investments" I'd made. They'd never want for anything - I'd pay off mortgages, cars etc. However once you start giving people millions I bet there's an expectation you'll look after them forever and give more and more.

Ooh I love this game.

We'd give money, like £1m +.

BUT I'm currently very low contact, verging on no contact with my only sibling, who lives on a different continent. I might not tell him at all to be honest. DH's siblings we would give the same amount each, and then parents would have a slightly higher amount. Like 1 mil per sibling, 3 mil per set of parents, or 2mil siblings/ 5 mil parents.

I know people who would be broke in 3 years if they were given a lump sum, as they'd give up work then overspend. Better to buy a thing, like a house, holiday, car but never offer actual cash, depending on the temperament of the receiver, of course.

That's if I won silly millions, £100mil plus. If it was a smaller number of millions it would be adjusted!

Considering The odds are roughly 140 million to one that you’ll win…

I vote that Yabu for even considering this question

Edit to add; jackpot is £140 million.. but the price of a ticket is £2.50

My sister had grand ideas about buying herself a house paying off the parents mortgage (they were divorced at that point) she said ahe would pay a years rent for me....I was unemployed housing benefit paid my rent at the time I pointed out she could have changed my life by purchasing the (then council) house for me it was way less than the parents mortgage and would mean I could work around her niece easier she said no one years rent would be all I got and I would be grateful for it I then suggested that she pay for my driving lessons and perhaps a small car (at the time that would have been way less than 12 months rent) she said no 12 months rent and be grateful then she asked what I would do if I won the lottery I said I would be grateful 😂

We don't discuss lottery wins anymore 😂

fwiw I think my driving option would have been the best cheapest option and it would have been life changing for dd and myself and it was practical!

I used have this argument with my ex. He thought an equal amount should go to each side. Therefore his two siblings would get twice as much my four, but if his brother and SIL won, and he would get half as much as her sister…That would not be OK at all, and all the siblings should get the same.

Ds2 (21) and I discussed this the other day, he would give away most of it and then go back to uni to study statistics 😳

i can’t work out if i have failed as a parent or not 😀

I would give 1ml each to each family member. That's enough to be pretty life changing. That about 30mil gone.

I would buy a massive house or two somewhere stunning for a few million which would be an extended family property for he eral use.

I would take anyone interested on lavish summer holidays once a year and another for Christmas so we don't have to host.

I would have a generous trust for my special needs child.

The rest I would put to worthy local causes. Refuges, buying land and turning it into forest, opportunities for non academic but talented kids who fell through the cracks.

I never buy a ticket and I still play this game.

I discussed it with dd her ideas are the same as mine secure housing for all then holiday! I suggested she learn to drive she said no but she would get herself a rail pass 😂

I don't either! I think I bought one on the very first lottery.

If I did, I wouldn't tell a soul. I wouldn't see anybody in my family destitute, but they don't need any more money however much they might want it.

For that kind of money, I'd go to financial adviser first and work out how much to keep myself to give me a certain income (as @FixingStuff suggests). Then give away a good maybe 90% of the rest to various charities / good causes.
Then think about gifts to family & friends.
Not because I don't care about them .... just that maths, even if you ask for them to keep it confidential. It'll be the talk of the town how big your win was if you can afford to give away £40m .... and I'd hate that going on as I wouldn't want the ongoing expectation of support / more money available to them.
Then again I've always said I'd just like my life but no financial worries after a lottery win - not necessarily the 5-star lifestyle.

But great problem to ever have!!

I always think it wouldn’t be fun being filthy rich if the people I love most aren’t rich too. I’d enjoy my own wealth so much more if I’d been able to make my immediately family members wealthy!

For further context, we do love our families very much.

I think £140m is too much. I'd much rather win £10m, and then I think they paying off of mortgages (or approx £300k each in case of different amounts owed) would be good and not tight.

But he also doesn't want to win £10m, he wants £100m. I'm actually not sure if he's just winding me up (I think not as we have this row often) or if he just can't comprehend how much £140m is (quite likely).

As a PP said, I also think it would be very isolating to win that much. Which is a good reason to spread the wealth with those closest to you.

I'd give 5m to a few select people - my siblings, parents.

I'd set myself up with a rock solid financial set up, and the same with my son, with about 20m.

Then I'd sit and stew on how to use the rest. I'd probably dispense it into local cooperative schemes anonymously, and hire local people in roles to serve the community - e.g. provide free home help to elderly local people, free vet treatment for pets, free things for local children.