Who is wrong - lottery winning question

[MidnightMilkman]

Tonight is £140m on the euros.
Just had a row my DH over spending the money 😆😆

One of us would give immediate family members a good amount (e.g. £3m each) which would still leave us with over £100m. I'm talking siblings. Parents may get a bit more. Kids can have what they want.

The other would pay their mortgages off and occasionally take them on holiday, but wouldn't give them any other money.

Who is being unreasonable?

YABU: paying off their mortgage is enough and they should be greatful for that

YANBU: give them £3m and let them make their own decisions what they do with it

I have read somewhere that the people who are happiest after winning the lottery are those who win roughly what they earn on a year.

That amount means that you can pay off any debts, pay a nice chunk off your mortgage, have a nice holiday and then the money is gone. Your life carries on like before but everything is just that little bit easier.

I can see that.

Personally I would find a horrible rare disease and use the money to cure it. I like that idea. It means I would change the world forever.

But that's so-called lottery winner on the AMA on here said she kept all her money in the bank and didn't invest it because she didn't see the point. It was just a load of rubbish.

I like to play this game a lot - mentally deciding what I would do. I actually think I wouldn’t like a huge massive win because I would feel obliged to give a lot away and some “family” members don’t deserve anything. If I won a million I’d pay off the mortgage and any debts, give DC each some money, help my parents out etc and save/invest.
a larger sum would be tricky - where do you draw the line? I have a sibling not particularly close but would feel I’d need to help. A few dear friends I would help, cousins? Some
maybe not others

You know, I get weirdly het up about people who say that sums like 10k-100k etc aren't "life changing".

If I won a paltry 100k, I'd spend 5k on getting pros in to sort the house out pre-sale rather than DIY. I'd put an extra 50k on the deposit for the next house. And I'd spend the last 45k on a sabbatical from work, giving notice after we'd moved house. I'd spend a year doing training courses whilst my son was in nursery three days a week, whilst still covering my share of the mortgage and slowly building up self-employed work.

That's pretty fucking life changing to me, but people don't think about just making the every day a bit nicer. It has to be al holidays and yachts.

(I did actually win 10k a couple of years ago, just after I'd quit my job and then found out I was pregnant - the peace of mind was very life changing!)

This would be perfect .I'm reality I might only have £70m to work with, as to do what I want I'd lose half in the divorce.

How many weeks do you have to claim the prize? You can get divorced within 20 weeks. Asking for a friend obviously

I'd set up a trust for family members (after paying off mortgages and student debt) so that descendants (based on whatever rules I establish) can benefit in perpetuity. It'll be endowed substantially and properly managed so that there's about £1 million to spend every year. Descendants would have to approach the Trustees for funds so there'd be some due diligence.

I'd also become a philanthropist. I'd endow a particular small charity I love with at least £10 million - they'd do amazing things but then I'd also set up a grant making charity in memory of my family, I'd endow that substantially too and then I'd make grants in line with my charitable principles.

Mainly benefiting women and girls.

I agree. £100k could be very life changing. I'd like to do an extension, but in reality I'd probably take it straight of the mortgage - keeping our mortgage payment the same but reducing the terms - it'd take about 10 years off, which really would be life changing.

Agree with this.

Well, first of all, I would not tell anyone I had had a significant win.
I would sort myself out first. Invest a certain amount and then look at what was left over.
Of course I would give my family money, but I would also donate to my old school, perhaps set up something for homeless people.
Luckily my husband died 20 years ago, leaving me a "poor" widow, so no other discussions required.

Your dh sounds really tight, OP, and I’m in agreement with you. Such an insane amount of money, I can’t believe anyone would keep it all to themselves!

But then everyone in my family is really sane, well-adjusted and solvent. I know they’d be really respectful and discreet about it. I’m sure how I’d feel about it if not!

Exactly this! You'd need time to process such life changing news & not make any rash decisions immediately.

I wouldn't be broadcasting a win by giving people large sums. They'll burn through it then knock on your door for more. I'd quietly give my 70yo mum a card to a bank account in my name and tell her to spend what she wanted eg do renovations, replace carpets, paint etc

I wouldn't give my sister or her kids anything - they have more than enough eg both kids have been bought cars at 16yo. So they don't need help.

I would probably stay living in my modest two bedroom unit. Easy to look after and meets my needs. I might buy a house but would have to pay people eg cleaning and yard.

I'd probably look at buying a property that a friend of mine could rent for her riding school. Give her some stability. And maybe somewhere for my other friends to keep their horses.

After that I would look to help kids get out of poverty and support animal charities (but not the rspca as I find them very incompetent). Children - scholarships to good schools and education support, paying uni fees so they can start debt free. Animal charities - people who run good services like some breed specific rescues I know who do amazing rehabilitation work and have substantial vet fees. My money wouldn't go offshore as it would provide economic input to my local communities.

I would change the world for women to ensure their safety

1. setting up a DV task force to enable women to be fast tracked into safe positions for them and their kids
2. invest a lot of money in pressure groups to change family law arrangements away from abusers
3. change society by shaming and naming errant fathers, not single mums
4. invest tons into setting up a process for pervy men to be shamed and put away
5. payroll more pressure groups to ensure the law is changed for rapists and abusers to get accountability and appropriate sentencing
6. move to a beachside home in the sun, drink cocktails 🍹 with loyal friends and family and think job done! ✔️

It's the 30th anniversary of the first lottery draw today

I have given this thought too even though it will never happen! It’s a difficult one as I guess you don’t want relationships to change or be treated like a blank chequebook forever, but you also want to help family out.
id first look at paying off mortgages/ debts/ student loans/ uni costs for Nieces/ nephews etc/ any care costs etc - because if folk have all that paid that is pretty life changing! I’d then look at who got the most and too everyone else’s amounts up to the same value so it’s fair. I’d give generously for birthdays/ Christmas and treat for holidays every now and then but I wouldn’t be giving out any other big sums of money

Absolutely! I'd give my family not a single penny. And I'd make sure they saw me spending what I had! I'd give sums to my DC, my partners kids and his ExW and my ExH. My 'D'M and siblings.....nothing!

I'd buy a bigger house, invest so I and descendants had lifetime income sorted out, book an amazing holiday first. Then I'd give every family member £750k for a house - and invest that for younger nieces and nephews until they were 25.
Then I'd set up a grant giving charity and if possible I think I'd but a lot of rental properties and rent out to families at a cheap rate so they could save for deposits. I'd also give to refuges and my daughter's school.
Never going to happen though...

I wouldn't tell anyone except dh - I wouldn't even tell my kids - what kind of life would they have with no goals or ambitions - I think it would destroy them and their relationships (I have seen enough of that already)
Not sure what I'd do with the money - probably set up a charity.