Who is wrong - lottery winning question

[MidnightMilkman]

Tonight is £140m on the euros.
Just had a row my DH over spending the money 😆😆

One of us would give immediate family members a good amount (e.g. £3m each) which would still leave us with over £100m. I'm talking siblings. Parents may get a bit more. Kids can have what they want.

The other would pay their mortgages off and occasionally take them on holiday, but wouldn't give them any other money.

Who is being unreasonable?

YABU: paying off their mortgage is enough and they should be greatful for that

YANBU: give them £3m and let them make their own decisions what they do with it

Love the idea of giving family and possibly friends significant sums, I just don't think it's possible without completely changing your relationship for ever and not necessarily for better. Imagine how you would feel if one of the people you had helped went off the rails a bit, say spend it all on an amazing holiday rather than paying off their mortgage or supporting their children through university.

Or they quit their job and came back quite soon to ask for more.

Very tricky. I Love this game

This would be perfect.
I'm reality I might only have £70m to work with, as to do what I want I'd lose half in the divorce 😆😆

I've stopped playing the euro millions and switched to the regular lottery as I'm genuinely not sure what I'd do if I won hundreds of millions, it would certainly be rather isolating and I'd worry about the security aspect. If I won the regular lottery and won say £5.3m I'd be able to semi retire and never have to worry about money again. I would keep it a secret though!

If he gets the £100m and you take the £40m then you both get what you want (although you get quite a bit more than you want), then you can both do exactly what you want to do with it regarding family and friends.

With the traffic these days she's a wise young lady!

We've discussed this at length on car journeys etc. & we'd tell people we won the million pound raffle, so we could spend a bit without too many people holding their hands out! We'd then wait a little and stay gifting the family slowly, but surely, ensuring they all got a fair share.

Husband wants to buy houses, do them up and rent them cheap to army vets etc. I'm older than him, so want to retire, having music lessons in the morning and language in the afternoons (in between treating all my friends and charities).

Not that we've thought to hard about this.....

I actually pretty much always buy a ticket and play this game too as it goes

Fwiw I got 2 numbers and 2 stars the other day and won a colossal £8.20. At that point I had a 1:120,000 chance of getting the other 3 numbers…maybe next time.

I think having wealth like that would be more enjoyable if you had people to share new, wonderful experiences with. Not much fun going to fancy places if you're on your own or only hanging around with your husband. Spread it around a bit and you can have a group of people to enjoy the good times with.

I love this game!
I would make sure some is invested so I can have a steady income from it.
Same for both DC.

Sadly, I wouldn't give to family as I think the green eye monster and greedy guts would appear with 2 or 3 of them....

But I would try and get the rest invested/ spent on a local midwifery unit. In my dreams, this unit will have NHS and private mothers to be. I would hope that with this, plus any money I have left & invested it can pay for itself, if not, it will become a charity.
(Maternity services in our area are shit. Hospital is 14 miles away in next town. The saddest thing I have witnessed was a young mother in tears because she had to go home from hospital a few hours after giving birth. HCA & midwife tried to convince her that it was best for her... but the real issue was that we had no beds left and we simply had to send mums home asap to make space or others already in labour. (Our buildings are not fit for purpose and partly closed for repairs because they are riddled with raac concrete or asbestos.)
So yes, with that kind of money, I'd love to do something special for our little town!

Exactly, waste of time, discuss it lol when you actually win.
You may change your mind if it was reality anyway.
What you think you might do is different to what you do?
Do people really argue over something that hasn't even happened yet?

I wouldn’t tell anyone how much we won. Then give each close family member an equal, set amount with the condition that they could do what they want with it, but there will be no more. Then use the rest to enjoy our life!

I was just thinking, and some tax expert might confirm or deny..... let's say I bought the ticket by myself. I won 120million. I give half away to family and friends as gifts.

If I'm unfortunate enough to die within 7 years presumably that's added back to my estate for Inheritance Tax? Now I do realise that there will be a massive amount to pay anyway, but wondered about this, and it may be more relevant to smaller wins.

I have thought a lot about this! I'd invest enough to give us a good income for the rest of our lives, pay off our mortgage and build a bigger house with a big garden. I'd also buy everyone in my family/close friends a house and a car and then set up a trust to give them all a 'salary' of e.g 100k per year (which is loads when you have mortgage to pay), plus trust funds for all the kids. I'd also buy a big house (maybe a castle in Scotland) and use it as a family holiday home where everyone can gather and spend quality time together. And then lots of money to charities and to set up a foundation of my own to support the careers of artists. I daydream sometimes about being able to tell them all that they'd never have to worry about money ever again, wouldn't that be so lovely?

I never actually buy a ticket though, so looks like it'll remain a daydream!

I have thought about this. I'd seek financial advice and made sure I left enough in my will to cover any inheritance tax.

I'd give enough to pay off the mortgage and then set up an account with a naice travel company for everyone to book a holiday each year up to say £30k. Trust to fund education through to end of university for all nieces and nephews.

A lottery winner once did an AMA here and posters were absolutely brutal that she didn't share her money with family and friends even though she didn't win anywhere near todays amount.

I enjoy my privacy so anything I give away would have to be given away quietly

Paying mortgages off is a poor method. It rewards the financially profligate and extravagant and gives less to the cautious siblings who have been diligently over-paying.

I would give basically the same amount to each sibling but with a small uplift for the one who has triple the number of offspring as anyone else. But I would make the total distributed to total to 10% of the total winnings. That would make it less than £3m each though.

I'd pay for a fab holiday/cruise for parents &PIL & buy them anything they needed but wouldn't give them a large monetary sum as it would just be a gift to the taxman to do so realistically.

I "won" (inherited) a decent sum some years ago and we took our (very good and kind to us) friends on holiday. Not a luxury break, but somewhere different, paid for flights and car hire. It was great! Would love to be able to treat family and friends all the time if I could.

So yes, pay off mortgages AND take them away when I could - with £140m, that's a lot of holidays!

I'd also like to buy this massive pub in our local park and turn it into a community centre with something for everyone young and old but just do the fun bits and not worry about making a profit.

Definitely getting ideas from this...

Love the idea of a travel agent with a budget per family per year.

On reflection, maybe £1m is a better amount. Totally life changing, but not an amount which might send family off the rails.

I think I'd keep it secret apart from maybe our parents. Not because I would begrudge anyone X amount of money, but because people's attitudes change and you end up expected to solve everyone's problems.

I'd say we'd won a much smaller amount to account for a much nicer house, and then not live particularly differently. I think.

I wonder if there's a way to gift everyone £5m anonymously, and pretend we'd also been gifted £5m 😆

It wouldn't work, as it would be obviously us if both sides of the family had money gifted.

I wouldn’t do any of it. Infact no one would know I’d won id just be that really generous daughter, sister, auntie, friend who goes over board with presents and insists on paying when we are out! I may even book close them a holiday on me and insist of paying for everything 🤣

If your family is content and doing ok - I would think very carefully about giving them anything. I would also not tell them about the win.
you can’t pay off mortgages because the amounts given won’t be even.
Whatever you give may lead to resentment . If you have 100m and you give your brother 3m - before long you will be seen as ungenerous or above yourselves. It is rare that a family member or friend looks on your good fortune and feels genuinely happy for you. For the rest of your your life extended family members will come begging or asking for sponsorship or investment.

Ooooh…
Id definitely give them the money and let them spend it as they see fit.
Id also give some money to my kids school to redecorate and buy much needed resources. I’d also give some to local groups again to help them upgrade their facilities etc.
Id love to do something to help DV victims. I’ve never been a victim but a friend of mine has, so anything that can help people and their kids escape that situation and help them get back on their feet.