AIBU to be hurt that my partner is taking Fridays off work, while I take Mondays?

[carlottavaldes]

My partner and I are in ours 40s, childfree by choice, and we both work from home.

I don't work Mondays and haven't for the past 5 years. My partner recently decided that he's also going to go down to 4 days at work - and take Fridays off.

I feel hurt that he didn't decide to also take Mondays, so that we could have an extra day together. I like my Mondays, doing my own thing, so it's not like I'd want us to be joined at the hip, but it would've been nice to have the option of going for lunch together, or going away for the weekend with no pressure to get back before Monday.

He says he chose Fridays because he's going to play golf, on his own, and he doesn't want me to be a "golf widow", but that seems like a non reason, as he wouldn't be playing the entire day.

I know that separateness is as important as togetherness in relationships, and I have my own life, but I still feel hurt that we didn't even discuss which day he'd take off. AIBU?

I think you’ll enjoy each others company more for having your own time apart. It’s good for you. Pre DC DH spent a lot of time together (moved abroad). We have less time by ourselves now and really value it.

They get given back to you on pro rata basis so you can take the holiday when you want, not forced into the bank holiday. I loved not working Mondays

YABVU.

My time to myself is so so precious. I would be so enraged if DP wanted to muscle in on that!! We both work part time and generally I do my own thing on a Tuesday morning and a Friday morning. Its my sacred time for myself and I love it. We see enough of each other in the evenings and weekends. We also go on separate short break holidays. I love time together but I am a person who needs a fair bit of space too.

I think let him have his own day off alone and be happy for him!

OP means she gets that proportion of the BH allowance added to her leave to take another day. It’s quite good if you’re part time to take Monday off then you get to use your share of bank holidays whenever you want.

Late to the party on this one but I totally agree about having a different day off. DH has a Wednesday off for childcare reasons and kept it like that long after we needed childcare, as an aside on a 4 day week Wed is a great day to have as you are never more than 2 days from a day off.

Now we are both retired we’ve just booked a cottage for a holiday in January. We are going to have half a week each with a day together in the middle.

I have Wednesday and hubby has Friday.
We both like a day to chill, do our own thing and then have the weekends together.

I think the problem here is that it wasn't discussed. Had you both talked about it, he would have suggested it with the reasons why, you would have gone through discussing the pros and cons to each of you, and then you would have come to a conclusion, which I'm sure would be him taking Fridays off because you would have understood why it was the best option. That way you wouldn't be feeling how you do now and having to ask advice. So I think talk to him about it to understand his thinking.

I work PT and have Mondays off- I would be miffed if my DH started having the same day off 😂 I like having time to do my own thing.

I think it's fine. I personally would much prefer a day to myself than a day off with DH. It would be more enjoyable and refreshing to have a whole day alone than another day doing things with DH. No offence to DH (I love him and I love being with him) but I get no time to myself. Time alone is precious and valuable and I understand his reasoning of not wanting you to be a golf widow. Let him enjoy it and don't guilt trip him.

I can just imagine the thread If he'd chosen Mondays too "AIBU to want to murder my dh, he's taken over my lovely peaceful solo day"