engagement ignoral

[mamechange]

AIBU to be a bit pissed off with my sister for not congratulating my son and fiancee on their engagement. Not even a like on facebook or insta. And I picked up my parents who were staying with her that day and said" it will be nice for mum to see the ring and give GS and fiancee ( name) a kiss"". Sis said nothing. Saw them all together again next day , which happened to be the day after my birthday and she said really loudly" no mum it's just a present from you and dad - nothing to do with me" Twice ( my parents are getting pretty deaf but I'm not)
I don't think she likes me does she?

I don't understand why you are letting this bother you. You are choosing to react in this way, no one else seems that bothered. You do realise that SM likes are meaningless anyway so why get worked up over it? Not everyone lives their lives on SM.

This.

You have some good news with your son, exciting times and a great future for them to look forward to. Instead, you're focusing on feeling disappointed over her not congratulating them.
Everyone gets excited and looks forward to different things and in different ways even when there isn't a back story. Given the fact there is one I think you're expecting too much, especially since you could be focusing on your son and the exciting times ahead. Let it go.

Why is it all centred around you? Why is your sister expected to “rise above” anything? If family and their opinion is important to him then why can’t DS message his aunt saying “Hi Aunt Susan, just wanted to let you know that Matilda and I got engaged last week! We’re very happy and excited for our wedding next year. Hope you’re well, all the best.”

If he hasn’t done that then perhaps your sister is a bit put out herself thinking that her nephew didn’t bother to tell him his news himself and she only heard it secondhand / on SM, and he isn’t fussed about her response. DS is an adult, if he’s disappointed and wants attention from people then he has to actively include them in his life.

Really it all sounds like a bit of a “me-rail” on your part. You and your sister don’t get along and you’re determined to turn this into another example of her failings.

Yeah maybe you're right though she is on his fb and insta so saw it the same as everyone else who wrote back"congrats" though. Not all of them were that close. Anyway, I'll forget about it but I'm claiming "ignoral" as mine. Considering a commission per usage. 😁

So she’s jealous and immature… don’t stoop to her level. Just laugh at her. You’re both looking like teenagers tbh.

If sister is ignoring the engagement she's not likely to come to life over the wedding.

My bet is she's got the big hump about something and won't acknowledge or attend the wedding either.

😂

OK According to the vote I'm wrong, but I sent a congratulations card to one of my DC's oldest friends when they got engaged. I just thought it was kind of normal to congratulate people ( particularly a close relative like a nephew). Maybe it's an Australian thing. I'm a bit stunned that everyone in the UK finds out that their niece or nephew is engaged and just ignores it. Not a card, a phone call, a text, a like on SM. Well you learn something new everyday!

Just because she has Facebook/insta doesn’t mean she has to react to posts. This is exactly why I got rid of mine!

I'm Irish rather than British, it would definitely be the done thing for aunts and uncles to send congratulations on an engagement. But the back story does complicate things.

It's definitely not normal in the UK to ignore. I'm from the UK and lived here all my life and that would be considered a very deliberate snub. Even if you don't do social media it takes two seconds to send a quick text.
I find all the people posting saying engagements are meaningless are really bizarre.

I don't think she likes me does she?

Well, I presume as she is your sister, you didn’t just meet her this morning and know far more about your relationship than anyone on here?!

no mum it's just a present from you and dad-nothing to do with me" Twice

I would have asked her if she had a problem!

This is an odd reaction to have- you wouldn't congratulate your own nieces and nephews for getting engaged? I genuinely cannot believe there are people out there like this

I agree. I don't understand why you wouldn't congratulate a family member or friend at a happy moment in their lives. Really unusual.

When I got engaged I told my aunt myself I got engaged. I also posted it on Facebook which she doesn't have.

But if I wanted people specifically to know I told them personally (or via phone call)

If my nephew got engaged I'd expect him to tell me in person to get a congratulations or we'd do that when we next met up. But he is 12 so not likely to be soon!

But unless the OP is continually checking in or monitoring her son and his fiancées’ conversations, surely it’s perfectly possible, if they all met together as the OP says, that her sister congratulated them then?

Though making it very clear her parents’ birthday present wasn’t also from her suggests she thinks the OP is a total pain for whatever reason, and wants nothing to do with her or her adult child. The OP herself acknowledges there’s a backstory.

Though I admit I only clicked on the thread to find out what the OP meant by ‘ignoral’.

Your sister may be thinking the same thing - that is kind of normal to let close family know directly, rather than leaving them to find out with everyone else on social media.

If there's a back story she may well have blocked you and your family on sm?

And it may well be why she is not involving herself....

Sounds to me like you know she's pissed off with you and you're looking for reasons to be annoyed/offended

Why not try to sort out the original rift, instead of projecting OP?

I'd wait until I saw them and congratulate them, face to face. Much more personal than some faceless social media platform, where I'd just be one of a stream of comments.

Oh, you say she is angry with you at the moment. Just ignore her. She wants you to react.

Britishers really are weird.

Oh, that makes total sense. I'm not one for grim social media slushy comments so I'd do the same, I thought you meant you wouldn't congratulate them at all!

Well, I guess it's better that a title of "Engagement Ignorance"

c'mon @mamechange facebook is so passé, don't fall out with your DSis over something some trivial.

don't sweat the small stuff as they say, or you'll drive yourself nuts.