To feel very harassed by Health Visitor, refusing to give managers email address

[mangobearpop]

I am feeling very harassed by a HV despite expressing to her several times I want to Opt Out.

She has called me numerous times now to ask for my email address to send some info over, I must of given it to her about 3 times now just to get her of my case.

She text me on Tuesday to ask again for my email address and claimed she was sending me emails but they were not going through?

After weeks of going back and forth over my email address the emails finally came through on Friday.
She wants to call me in 4 months time to see how I am getting on.

I feel very harassed by this woman and when I ask for the managers email address she refuses to give it to me.

I have contacted PALS - no response.

Does anybody have any idea who else I could contact to withdraw my consent and to Opt Out as I feel so harassed by the unwanted contact.
There are no safeguarding concerns as she told me that "I am doing well".

When I call the office number the receptionist refuses to give the managers email address out.

Block the emails?

No judgement but what’s your reasons for opting out?

It seems like a bit of an annoying tech mishap but is it literally just this emails thing? It's quite common to see the HV every few months, they just do the development checks and then you leave again. It sounds like there's just been some tech issue or incompetence somewhere that's drawn it all out. Checking in with you in four months' time doesn't sound like she's harassing you in any way.

Health visitors are council services rather than NHS ones in some areas - so that may be why PALS aren’t helping.

ask the receptionist for the complaints procedure. That may be different to the managers email.

Well you're rid of her for 4 months now so I'd forget about it. She just wanted your email to send you something and now she's done that, she's not going to be harassing you for months. Unless there's a lot you've left out, I don't see the problem.

I had a very bad experience earlier in the year and found the initial HV very pushy and a liar.

She told me it was mandatory to have the HV service.

I thought I had heard the end of it after sending a text to the support number about my concerns and shocking service.

This is a new HV and again is very pushy and doesn't listen when I say I would rather take my child to the GP.
The HV even says they cannot help with medical issues so I don't see the point in the service anyway?

She was asking me to come to one of those baby clinics despite me telling her I wanted to Opt Out.

Is there more to this story? It doesn't seem like harassment, professionals will often ask for an email address or contact no at each contact to confirm it's still correct, it can be due to a prompt on the system and GDPR fear!

She had phoned me several times now despite me advising her I want to Opt Out.

She called me several time asking me the same question and then proceeded to text me asking the same question when I had already told her 3 times.

I don't want any contact with them as the experience earlier in the year with the HV basically intimidating me in my own home has really put me off.

There is no back story I just don't want the service as it caused me a lot of anxiety.

She kept asking because the emails weren't going through. Now that's sorted, she's scheduled to see you in 4 months time. I don't really think that sounds like "harassment" at all really. And taking babies to the clinic regularly is pretty normal, it's just weight checks, asking how YOU are etc. You sound really worked up about something that isn't a big deal to be honest.

That's not the point. The point is that OP wants to opt out, has the right to, and as is so often the case with health visitors, they are forcing their hand and not allowing her to. She has informed this health visitor multiple times she no longer needs or wishes to use this optional service, and the health visitor is ignoring her wishes and making an appointment for her that OP has told her she doesn't want. You cannot, and should not, be able to force an optional service on people - it's not right.

It's not mandatory, and the fact that they act like it is, is what puts so many people off. They give themselves a bad name.

OP, put in writing to her that you are opting out, and ask her to confirm that she has received this - both in text and email. If she avoids it, repeat - don't confirm the appointment in 4 months time if you don't want, just ignore it like she does, and repeat yourself. Be just as forceful. They do push because most people give in under pushy behaviour..

@mangobearpop stand your ground and I would also speak the your GP and log yhe issues.

I had a horrific HV when dd was born, she was vile.

I had quite severe ante natal depression and was under ss for a few months because I struggled to accept I was pregnant (17 years of being told it was impossible by 2 different gynaecologist meant finding out i was accidentally pregnant was a major head twist), they were very worries abiut and etc

I was on pretty strong pain Meds during my first trimester and needed Weaning off them under medical supervision. I needed to go back on after dd was born but they cross the barrier so I wasn't allowed to bf. Hv basically told me I was poisoning dd, the. She made an error on the weight chart when dd was 4 weeks old, told me I was over feeding her and she needed to be put on a diet.

I didn't know which way was up! At my 6 week check up inwas beside myself. I sobbed at the poor gp who immediately contact the service and de.anded a new hv and advocated so strongly for me.

You are absolutely right, you are not forced to engage with them but they do make it ridiculous hard to get away.

Good luck!! You have my sympathy.

Yanbu. Raise a complaint. It’s an optional service and so she needs to respect and act upon your request to opt out. Doesn’t matter what she or anyone else thinks about your decision.

YANBU

Id just block her number. I refused the HV service with my last child as simply I didn’t need it, I knew what I was doing and where to find I needed help and couldn’t be arsed with the visits. You’d have thought I was drowning puppies the reaction I got.

I'd also just block the number and reply to the email saying just to make it clear in writing you are opting out of the HV service

I also found them rude and full of hokum tbh, unable to do their own checklists properly and giving me unsolicited advice toto sleep train my infant.

I would respond to her email telling her you do not want HV services and she is not to contact you in 4 months time or, in fact, ever. That you consider her behaviour harassment and you will no longer be engaging with her or anyone from the service. Don’t thank her for the materials or engage in other pleasantries. Be very clear and to the point. Then block her email and her phone number.

If she tries to contact you again through some other method, do not respond. Block that email/number too. If she turns up at your door tell her to get off your property immediately and shut the door in her face. Call the police if she won’t leave you alone. Keep all emails and texts and record any other interaction just in case you need to document her treatment of you in the future.

It’s not at all common to see the HV every few months when you’ve opted out of the service.

Health Visitors are so busy they generally welcome with open arms, someone they can cross off their workload.

Why draw unnecessary attention to yourself with health services?

My view is that if you make a song and dance about opting out of a service like this that isn’t that cumbersome (they barely make an effort to arrange visits anyway) then should anything ever happen you won’t be painted in a great light.

That shouldn't be the case with an optional service - it's not optional if the decision can harm you in the future.

Lots of perfectly normal, good parents simply don't want health visitors. They raise their children perfectly fine. Plenty.

It's not a sign of nefarious behaviour, and making people believe that's how they will be viewed if they decide not to engage with the optional service, would mean it's not that optional at all. Because who would really decide to be viewed as suspect?

Most bad parents are hiding in plain sight.

There are plenty of threads on Mumsnet alone, to suggest this isn't the case, and OP's experience is far from the first, and far from uncommon.

And that's just online. On Mumsnet.

Moreover, this is exactly the reason for so many, who don't wish to engage with the service.

Why would anybody want to engage with any service, that will rake them over the coals at the first opportunity? I remember quite the thread on this, a while back, where the OP's decision not to engage with them, triggered them to initiate further trouble for the OP. Why would you honestly not undersand that some people really wouldn't want anything to do with such a service? Especially when there is plenty of support and help available elsewhere?

The summary of the threads here, and word of mouth generally, is that they either make themselves a nuisance, or are utterly useless. Very few experiences in comparison, found them to be a godsend.

There are real families for concern out there. A parent who simply decides not to opt in, or indeed opt out, does not and should not cause concern by and unto, itself.

It’s a big deal if she doesn’t want it. People go as it’s the norm and they often don’t realise it’s optional, when you’ve asked them to leave you alone, they should. Unless there is a safeguarding concern which there is not.

i had the same issue, constant harassment to bring my baby to be weighed when I had 5 kids under 6 to get too and from school and nursery and I knew my baby was doing fine because I could see her growing and hitting her milestones. One day she saw me getting in my car to pick up my older child and blocked me into my drive to tell me I had to go the next week or she would ‘have to lodge a concern’. In the end the practise manager gif involved and she was told to leave me alone.

I e just had third baby when they initially contacted me I sent an email saying I didn't wish to you the service as didn't with my other children and would be in touch if I needed anything, there was no push back

It doesn’t draw any unnecessary attention nor will it paint OP in a poor light, however HVs will often spout those lies to emotionally blackmail vulnerable people into agreeing to their bullying.

Shouldnt be no… but that’s not real life is it?! It’s not all sunshine and rainbows.

easier to just nod along with most of these visits unless something really untoward happens.

and you never know, it could pick up something that would have otherwise been missed