To feel very harassed by Health Visitor, refusing to give managers email address

[mangobearpop]

I am feeling very harassed by a HV despite expressing to her several times I want to Opt Out.

She has called me numerous times now to ask for my email address to send some info over, I must of given it to her about 3 times now just to get her of my case.

She text me on Tuesday to ask again for my email address and claimed she was sending me emails but they were not going through?

After weeks of going back and forth over my email address the emails finally came through on Friday.
She wants to call me in 4 months time to see how I am getting on.

I feel very harassed by this woman and when I ask for the managers email address she refuses to give it to me.

I have contacted PALS - no response.

Does anybody have any idea who else I could contact to withdraw my consent and to Opt Out as I feel so harassed by the unwanted contact.
There are no safeguarding concerns as she told me that "I am doing well".

When I call the office number the receptionist refuses to give the managers email address out.

Here being where exactly?

They are very pushy. I had to shut my door on the last one in the end as she wouldn't leave me alone. I got quite short with her in the end and told her my previous 3 babies had prepared me quite well for the fourth and I didn't need advice. She was still telling me the service was crucial when I shut the door.

I do agree with this . They've got the reviews in place for a reason and with the state of the NHS I would take what I was offered.

If anything there should also be a sight and hearing test offered to all 4 yr olds imo.

I told my HV not to come back after her first visit, she was awful.

She tried to, I didn't let her in and then I didn't hear anything from her.

Stand your ground, just ignore it all, it's not mandatory.

The HV I had with DC2 came to my house with the usual questions (from the red book mind you which I could fill out myself) and during chit chat she told me she didn't enjoy her career as it was repetitive and that she didn't have kids of her own as she found them annoying. I was stunned tbh.

I didn't find it an important review at all. I was sent a questionnaire to complete which I duly did. I took it to the review and the HV copied the answers, added them up and gave me the totals with no further discussion or explanation. I declined the reviews with my second child as I was back at work full time and didn't want to waste a days leave doing that again.
When I phoned to decline the appointment they told me they would refer me to social services so I told them to go ahead. Of course I heard nothing.

@Jyui Sorry you had that experience. That was one HV, not all are the same.

Some HVs go into the career to make a difference. To support the family's in what THEY want to do. They seek CPD, question their own knowledge, reflect and want to provide the best care to help families reach their potential.
I know HVs who have SAVED babies and mother's lives, for having seen something not quite right/red flags, due to their medical background and specific training.

And when there's a tragedy involving a baby or small child, there will be multiple threads here demanding to know why no-one saw what was happening, and what can be done to stop it happening again.

Because seeing the HV is not mandatory, and it's not only naice middle class women who post on MN who aren't obliged to let them in.

That was four different health visitors! All of the ones is my district plus one from the next!

A friend dated a HV for a while too who took great umbridge over dinner to a tale of me co-sleeping with my child, and insisted no one they care for does it. I assured them that a significant number of their clients were lying to them!

If it's any consolation I feel exactly the same about community midwives, who couldn't tell the difference between a nipple and an arsehole, never mind give any breastfeeding counselling.

I would love to meet a health visitor or community midwife with a good rigorous knowledge base and helpful evidence based advice however that is yet to be- I suspect they are the exception rather than the rule.

Normally in those cases there has been extensive multi agency involvement for a long time, I don't think anyone is calling for mandated HV checks for those reasons.

I had a similar reaction. I’ve had a few HVs and they’ve all been insipid and ineffective, giving outright terrible advice and not knowing up to date best practice. It was pointless continuing.

With my first she came round told me if I knew what to do if there was a fire and other similar silly questions, and what annoyed me was DD slept the whole time and I kept thinking “Just fuck off so I can have a nap before she wakes!”

The developmental reviews seemed particularly pointless to me. They were carried out by a nursery nurse. My DC went to nursery, where they were reviewed against all the same checklists, by similarly qualified nursery nurses.

Mine advised me to just ‘let him cry’ (he was a newborn) and then proceeded to incorrectly log his weight in the infamous red book, putting him at the 2nd centile rather than 50th! Of course everyone makes mistakes but I’ve yet to meet anyone who has had helpful input from a HV. Sadly.

Agencies are in a no win situation. How are they supposed to be able to safeguard adults and children? It's not that common that a parent will say 'yes I'm abusing my child, please do come in and help me'. The easiest way for agencies to see who is engaging is by them attending appts. The same as missing lots of school can mean that something isn't quite right.

There are no safeguarding concerns.

I had the initial visit, the 6 week review and opted out as the HV was so pushy (telling me I should breastfeed despite fighting an infection and being on antibiotics at the time).
It completely put me off and I text her to advise her I was Opting Out of the service after she told me it was mandatory.

The GP is well aware that we have Opted Out and understood the reasons why when asked.

The latest HV said she understood my concerns with the previous HV and advised me "you know where we are if you need us" so if there were any safeguarding concerns surely she would have addressed them?

The HV even told me they cannot help with medical concerns and to consult the GP so I am failing to understand that support she can offer?
I even told her I am happy to take him to the GP and she said it was fine.

I think it's wrong to force mothers to take an entirely optional service to especially when it is not needed.

I completely understand that there are people who abuse children who slip through the net but my son has been seen by the GP regularly.

I'm another one who would just email that I don't want t/ need he service. I didn't engage with health visitors for my first 3 DCs. My independent midwives would have provided support if needed during the first few weeks and after that I was back at work FT anyway. TBF the health visitors weren't pushy and quite happy to have one less DC to worry about.

Ring the HV office number and ask to speak to the team lead. They may not give out their email address however should absolutely speak to you via telephone.