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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want clean bedsheets?

81 replies

traffichater1 · 17/11/2024 12:40

Am I overreacting about this? So I’m not a germaphobe but I can be a bit funny about touching people and body contact with people generally - unless it’s my partner or DS.

My partner has stayed at mine all last week. His friend was travelling to the area and needed somewhere to stay so he left his keys for him and his friend stayed in his bed for maybe one or two nights. I’m not so sure. Yesterday my partner went back home and I followed him a few hours later. When I arrived, I asked him if he changed the bedsheets since his friend slept in them and he said that he did however I couldn’t see the old bedding that he would’ve taken off anywhere and it wasn’t in his washing machine. His wash basket is in the bedroom so I would’ve seen the bedding in it without having to dig around. So to sleep, I didn’t get underneath the covers and instead used an old blanket of mine which I’d bought over to his house a while back. My partner didn’t question this. He just every so often would make sure I’m covered by my blanket. Which indicates to me that he actually didn’t change the bedsheets because if he had he would’ve been insistent get into the bed as it’s clean bedsheets. I think it’s gross that he’s happy to sleep in bedsheets that his friend has slept in, however it’s his friend so he can do what he wants but for me that’s like sleeping in a hotel room that hasn’t been changed since the previous guests.

I’ve left now, but sent him a message saying that it bothered me. He hasn’t replied, but I’m curious to know if other people would have felt the same as me.

OP posts:
Loxiro · 18/11/2024 03:38

A pp said most don’t change the bed in between guests - I really don’t think that’s the case!

I’ve never came across one person who has thought it was ok for me to sleep in the sheets their previous guest was in. It’s always been clear they are clean not been used sheets!

I recently stayed at my guy friends house and he knew to make sure the sheets were clean. I know they were because he was putting new ones on when I arrived!

The only exception to that was as a young adult /students coming back from clubs and crashing at my friends where I’d be sharing my friends bed!

I agree with the majority on here - you’ve nothing to apologise for. You’re not being a germaphobe but even if you were it still wouldn’t justify his apparent lying. He had the option of saying he won’t be changing the bedding as he doesn’t think it’s important and then leaving the decision up to you if you want to stay or not. But it’s not on to be deceptive about it.

If there’s some sort of logical explanation and he did actually change the sheets he should tell you it asap.

Loxiro · 18/11/2024 03:44

Makingchocolatecake · 17/11/2024 18:22

I think it's gross but acceptable if he sleeps on the side his friend was in. If the friend was only sleeping in there a night or two.

Well he wouldn’t know for a fact what side his friend slept on.

Did his friend get in naked and sit on the left side for a while reading then roll over to the right side to sleep. Did he roll around a bit but mainly sleep in the centre? So many unknowns.

Sorry that’s just laziness, he should’ve changed the bedsheets.

marcopront · 18/11/2024 04:07

Maybe the friend is a germaphobe and had his own sheets and put the original sheets back.

I don't understand about the blanket was it freshly washed and unused. The friend or anyone else could have sat watching TV covered in it.

Loxiro · 18/11/2024 04:37

OP boyfriend would have explained that surely if that was the case? A quick “oh don’t worry friend used his own sheets” would have settled things.

Instead he assured Op that he had replaced the bedsheets friend slept in with clean ones.

So either he is telling the truth and did do that OR he was lying and she slept in used sheets.

MidnightMeltdown · 18/11/2024 11:08

Honestlyhon · 18/11/2024 02:47

It’s absolutely disgusting not to change sheets in between guests and I’m in disbelief people think that that is ok behaviour.

This ^

It's disgusting, you're basically sleeping in somebody else's sweat, grease and drool 🤢. He could have at least changed the pillow cases and the bottom sheet.

SomePosters · 18/11/2024 18:14

I wouldn’t be happy about the sheets but I’d be ending the relationship over the lie… it’s the one rule I have, break it and we are done. If I can’t even believe the words out of your mouth then we have nothing worth saving anyway!

I once broke up with a bloke because he lied about removing the plastic bag from a chicken (those cook in bags ones)
If you will lie to me about something so silly, so easily then there is nowhere for us to go from there.

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