Ignorant sister.

[bubblesxx]

To sum it up I bend myself backwards to support my sister. She's currently living in temporary accommodation with my nephew and niece after loosing her rental, a nice temporary accommodation she's got her own little lodge, I've emotionally and physically supported her every step of the way, I feed her children, give her money, wash and dry her clothes, anything she needs I'm there, but she's also quite selfish, if you can't do something her attitude changes. Regardless we see and speak daily as our children go to the same school, but on Friday after school pick up for the entire weekend she falls of the end of the earth, I call and she ignores, I message no response, not a message to say she's a little busy nothing at all until the next Monday at school drop off, and I'm beginning to get a little frustrated with it and feel like she only initiates conversation with me when she needs something. She's well aware my life is quite isolating I have 2 neurodivergent children, no car I mostly just spent my time inside and I enjoy small conversations with people throughout the day to feel less alone, am I being unreasonable? I just constantly feel used and then dropped when I'm no longer needed.

Stop being so available to her. She also doesn't have to speak to you every day. You need to be less enmeshed.

How does she ask you? If it's face to face at the school gate that's awkward and hard to get out of if you are not used to saying NO.

But if it's via a message, then baby steps, don't respond.

If she asks for a lot of the same, then look ahead, pre-empt what she is likely to say and rehearse your refusal. Say it out loud to yourself, hear what is sounds like, how the words feel in your mouth as you say them.

It's hard, but you don't have to do everything she asks. Give yourself permission to say, "no".

Give her a taste of her own medicine and block her number on Monday till Friday afternoon. Run at the drop off/pick up time when you see her „sorry,need to dash,speak later”

Seriously OP? All healthy relationships should go both ways. Your one with your sister is not. She’s only in touch when she wants something from you.

Drop the rope,let her come to you.

If you are only doing her favours in the hopes to get company/attention in return, stop. She's not going to do that, so you need to stop agreeing to help her and then resenting her.

She might just want to be alone with her kid(s) at the weekend, having a restful time, especially if she's working during the week. Or doing something else she finds relaxing or interesting, and not stuck to her phone.

Maybe invite her over especially if you want to see her? When you talk to her during the week, invite her over for Saturday lunch.

If you continue helping her, accept that she's not going to be the person you want her to be. That's not necessarily a bad thing. She doesn't have to be sociable in the ways you prefer. It doesn't make her a bad person - and as I said, stop helping her if this is a transactional thing for you and you're not getting what you want in return.

I actually love her to bits, we have ALWAYS been extremely close, we we was young I was the one who made stupid choice and she was my sensible older sister as we got older we kinda switched and I took on the role of supporting her because she's lost a lot due to her actions, we are only 11 months apart, we have been like twins our whole lives, for most families daily contact is suffocating I understand that but that's our normal, for 8 years since we've had our own homes we have always multiple times a day had quick catch ups over the phone and then it stopped a few months ago, she just started ignoring me and it hurts because I feel used and unwanted, I don't have friends I'm quite socially awkward we have always been eachother a best friends

but she is in a bad way, perhaps depressed op

OPs sister does this quite often, it’s not a one off. She clearly just wants space from her sister at the weekend.

Not replying… I’ll just turn up 😂 lol just, no.

Exactly. Would actually force yourself on someone in this situation? I guess people just do things differently.

Don't be a doormat.
That should force her to grow up and stop taking advantage of you.

@Anotherworrier a simple message to say I'm busy or can't talk right now only takes 2 seconds.. of it be the other way around and I had gone silent or if she wanted something from me I'd have 100 missed call and texts, she'd call my partner.. it's the dignity of just letting me know that means the most to me

Can’t wait until you ask her on Monday?

There relationship has no boundaries or healthy communication. Showing up uninvited when someone clearly doesn’t want to see you won’t improve that.

She's talking about the weekend!!

What's work got to do with anything?

Sounds like you haven’t got any either, the amount of times you’ve replied on this thread

My life consists of appointments and home visits for my children, my son (5) goes to school during the week, he is ASD/adhd but is handling things well currently, my daughter age 2 is level 3 ASD has 1 home visit a week and 1 group visits a week, hearing check ups and speech appointments, anyone with children with additional needs would know life at home can quickly become overwhelming I don't have time for friends. I suppose half of my problem is I feel so alone I crave adult interaction

Block her number, she'll soon come over when she wants something. Minimise contact with her and get on with your life.

Sorry OP but I'd find that a bit intense someone wanting to call me constantly. Its OK to not speak to someone for the weekend, people need their own time too.

Where's your partner?

I think you relying on her for contact is unreasonable. Some people like a break from even just chatting at times - it is an interruption to what you're doing