to not get my 6 yo's son's hair cut for family wedding to please my mum and dad?

[jasper]

6yo youngest son has long curly hair. It just kind of happened partly because I am so lazy and also because he looks so nice with it long IMHO.

My mum ( who is wonderful) has always hated his long hair and never misses a chance to say so. I just smile amd ignore her.

Today however she took me aside for a proper chat and begged me to get in cut for big family wedding this summer.
I said no. She said she will not go to wedding unless I get it cut. I said don't be daft, of course I won't get it cut for that reason.

She said he (ds) looks ridiculous and everyone in the family thinks so.

I said Really, how interesting. I could not care less. His hair stays long.

She said Everyone thinks he looks like a girl.
I said so What? Everyone thought I loooked like a boy whenI was young.

She said PLEASE cut his hair.It is not normal for a boy to have long flowing hair.
I said I don't care .I like it. Dh likes it, ds likes it .

Every so often I ask him if he wants it cut and he always says no.

Mum says he only says this to please me.

AIBU?

coco you are VERY naughty!

scottishmummy that is exactly how i see it!

His hair sounds lovely.
As long as he's happy with it, don't cut it. Ignore your mum.

www.mumsnet.com/Profile?nick=eandh&photos=p&o=1209331842820
look at the first pic with apologies to eandh
!

it looks just liike that, but a bit more mussed up.

Now my anonymity on mumsnet is completely blown

okay so NOW AIBU?

It must look beautiful

DONT touch the hair.annihilate any predator with scissors.let it flow,flow and grow

I don't get it. How is your anonymity blown?

lyra because there can only be one 6 year old boy in Scotland with hair like that!And that identifies me as his mum.

coco and scottishmummy thank you for your kind words.

Personally I can't abide long hair on little boys, but I would never dream of commenting. It's none of your mother's business -- she's allowed to have an opinion, I suppose, but really once she's seen that you like it like that, she should keep her thoughts to herself.

It drives me bloody bonkers when Mothers say they won't go to weddings for whatever reason.

She will be the only person missing out.

I haven't read the whole thread, just the last few posts, but you must not cut that boys hair.

No one else will even notice, it's about the bride and groom after all.

tell her NO!

coco you have made my night!

agonybeetle what have you got against long hair on boys? I am curious.

I would love my dd2 told have long,red,curly hair. She looks like she wears a bush on hers, I couldn't even get the brush through it today, after washing it.

I love boys with long thick hair.

Your mother is jealous. She doesn't want anyone to upstage her own thinning permed barnet.

Your mum may be very lovely normally but you've clearly stumbled across her achilles heel. Or hairdo.

On this issue, she is barking. If your ds looks anything like eandh's gorgeous picture and he's happy with his looks, then don't let scissors anywhere near him (except for a trim to deal with spilt ends - I'm assuming we aren't talking dreadlocks/never washed or brushed?).

I know quite a few little boys with long hair - some look lovely, some not so great, same as boys with short hair. I really don't get why anyone should have an overwhelming preference about how long other people's children should have their hair - wtf?

this is a generational thing eg Long Hair Ach thats no Right.scottish granny's can be fearsome

Dunno, just don't like it. I think boys look cute with short hair (not a crop, just a proper little boy's haircut).

I don't really understand why you'd want a boy to go around with hair like a girl. Each to their own, and all that, I just find it a bit odd. What do you do for school, tie it back with a bobble?

Anyway my 8yo ds would rather eat slugs than have long hair, so it's not a problem I need to deal with. If he really wanted it longer and straggly (skater style) I suppose I'd go along with it. But as long as the hair in the picture -- don't think so.

My step MIL once cut a nephew (so her step grandson)'s hair, whilst babysitting, without his parents' knowledge or consent. It's one of those incidents that's gone down in family history...

I think some people really do get upset by long haired little boys (or cropped little girls). But come on - like you're really going to have ds's lovely hair cut when he likes it like that, & you like it like that, just to humour his grandma! Definitely 'smile & nod' time.

"She said PLEASE cut his hair. It is not normal for a boy to have long flowing hair"

This is the root of it I recon. They don't like the fact that he doesn't look like a boy is supposed to look. Silly if you ask me. For every person who thinks it's wrong there's another who thinks it's fine.

Don't get it cut if you think it's nice.

Bet you there'll come a point when you really don't like what your kids do with their hair and then you'll have to grin and bear it

Oh yes, another handy stupid-person detector, fussing about the length of a child's hair BECAUSE THE CHILD MIGHT GROW UP TO BE GAY OR SOMETHING IF YOU DON'T ENFORCE CONFORMISM AT ONCE! Laugh at them and do what you please, bigots should never be pandered to.

Must say I wouldnt give in to emotional blackmail, its a bit much to refuse to go to a wedding because of grandchilds hair.

BUT

What about a tidy up, rather then a off with the lot cut, could go to the shoulders, still long, but she may be happy with that, lets be honest, the guilt trips mothers can lay on us are tiring if nothing else. I might be tempted for a quiet life and a shorter cut, plus is very long, I have long hair and its hot under there in the summer, so will probably be better for ds as well.

Actually TMMJ two of my DDs have waist length hair and nits aren't that much of an issue as their hair is plaited tightly at school anyway. Shoulder length hair that is not tied back would attract nits more readily I think.