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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you were absolutely flat broke in this situation, how would you make money?

559 replies

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 17:32

Some context - single mum of 3 teenagers. Qualfied as a nurse a year ago, so on the lowest increment for band 5 pay. i work all night plus extra bank shifts to maximise my income with enhancements. Moving up pay scales/banding is impossible at the minute. The extra shifts means my UC entitlement is 0 most months. I get CB for 2/3 of the children. Eldest has autism and whilst he works, he doesnt earn enough to be contributing anything substantial to the household. Ex gave up working and claims benefits, i get the standard £29 a month deduction from his benefits via CMS, he hasnt seen the children in over a decade so doesnt contribute anything further. I dont drive and theres no public transport running at a time that i can get to work, so i have to pay for taxis which are expensive but i have no other options. Its a 2 hour walk before/after 13 hours shifts and i usually do 4 or 5 in a week, im so exhausted i cant do this walk on top of my very busy active shift. We live in a rented house, which is a reasonable rent for the area, but still expensive. 1 child in school who can walk, 1 child in college who cant walk as its too far so i have to ay transport costs for them. I have some "unnecessary" outgoings, gaming subscriptions and streaming services, however my children are home alone 4 or 5 nights a week so they need something to keep them occupied as i dislike them going out and about whilst im at work, as i work in a very busy A&E department, im not easily contactable and like to know they are safe. I have some small debts im paying off from when i was a student and really struggled to get by.

Every month i run i out of money, its just impossible. I cant work more, i cant see where i can reduce out goings. I cant get a third job (my substantial and bank are two different contracts). I cant afford christmas, which i know isnt the be all and end all. But, when i was a student i promised my children a better future when i was stressed writing assignments doing placements and missing important events. But its not gotten better. Infact im worse off each month now than i was when studying. The recent NHS payrise left me worse off, as it bumped me into the next pension bracket, so the little i got backdated last pay, i now owe in pension arrears from April when the pay rise was back dated to. This amount is more than i received in back pay last month.

Life is just impossible. I cant give my children any standard of living, despite working my arse off to improve my career and do as many shifts a week as i am physically able to do.

What would you do? Genuinely? My only potential plan at the minute is the WFH pip assessor roles, its the same money im on now, but no travel costs. Keep my bank job to pick up an extra weeked shift each week. But its a job role i struggle with morally, and i would lose the patient contact element of my job for the most part. And A&E was my dream job, i love it, and the experience is vital for my future career aspirations.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
ForBetterForWorseOrNot · 15/11/2024 20:45

First you mention you live 2 hours from work on foot, is there a closer hospital or could you potentially move closer to work? If so that may help. Is your eldest eligible for support such as disability allowance as my son receives this due to autism so worth checking. If so your eldest may be able to contribute. Consider other roles if you have too. Is there an opt out regarding the pension to reduce this.

Kneebonefuture · 15/11/2024 20:46

ForBetterForWorseOrNot · 15/11/2024 20:45

First you mention you live 2 hours from work on foot, is there a closer hospital or could you potentially move closer to work? If so that may help. Is your eldest eligible for support such as disability allowance as my son receives this due to autism so worth checking. If so your eldest may be able to contribute. Consider other roles if you have too. Is there an opt out regarding the pension to reduce this.

Shes answered all these things

DragonFly98 · 15/11/2024 20:48

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 17:43

this is the best pan at the minute, but from what i can tell, its not the assessor thats making any decisions, even if they are "nice and understanding, when it goes to the decision maker, what they say isnt necessarily interpreted correctly.

It’s actually the other way round DM have very little ability to make decisions anymore and it’s very hard from them to stray from the assessors recommendations.

Winter41 · 15/11/2024 20:51

I do surveys on prolific.com. I sometimes make around £100 per month for very little effort. There is also a website called Appen. You can make money doing things like recording yourself reading sentences, sending in photos etc. £20-£50 per job.

BeCalmNavyDreamer · 15/11/2024 20:52

I've read your posts but not the whole thread.

I'm a secondary teacher who does some tutoring on the side - with an msc you could do some GCSE biology tutoring online. I do a couple a week over Zoom and charge around £40. You would need to swot up on the specification - you just need to read the examiner reports and mark schemes.

It's a weird one to get into so not an immediate answer but once you find some tutees it can boost your income nicely.

NurseButtercup · 15/11/2024 20:52

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 20:35

Band 6 A&E educator/quality is my career goal, which is why i dont want to leave the department if i can help it. But its also why moving up yet isnt realistic, 1 year qualified does not give me the experience or knowledge required, but im hoping all the effort i put in at work, and the amount of additional training i do, will mean i am able to get a role in education in the department in teh coming years.

Please re-read my advice. You absolutely are ready at minimum, to commence the conversation about progression. This time next year you could be in that band 6 role. Please don't talk yourself out of progression opportunities.

FYI - I achieved my band 6 within 18th months of qualifying. I wasn't even pursuing a band 6 at the time, I was happily plodding along doing the job, worrying about acquiring certain skills & competencies. I was very very strongly encouraged to apply for the band 6 & I got the job.

Passmetheaero · 15/11/2024 20:57

I hope you do go for a moped. It’ll
be so cool and friends/family
can buy you cute accessories for your birthday and Christmas. I’d be starting with this leg cover/warmer

If you were absolutely flat broke in this situation, how would you make money?
Heartbreakanddamage · 15/11/2024 20:58

PrincessofWells · 15/11/2024 17:38

Buy a bike for the travel. There are quite a few brand new mountain bikes from around £85. Or second hand.

@PrincessofWells
Before/after a 13 hour shift, in pouring rain, the dark nights and icy roads in winter??? Just no to this!

Very similar position to you OP. It’s crap 💩

PassingStranger · 15/11/2024 21:01

notanothernamechange24 · 15/11/2024 18:09

Where precisely is the OP supposed to find £800 for an electric bike from?? 🤷🏻‍♀️🙄

Some really stupid suggestions on here

And why should she have to cancel the subscriptions which are keeping her kids occupied and safely at home so she can work?

What would be far better is charging their useless father for abandoning his responsibilities to his kids.

I would look into lift shares with someone if you can OP. Even if it's just for the odd shift it would save a little each time.
Have you checked that everything you are paying out for is the best deal you can get? Look at changing your energy supplier etc. I'd also contact the school and see if there is any help available transport wise for your teen. Or look into getting them a cheap bike if that's an option?

Not to mention the electric bike could get nicked.

DoTheDinosaurStomp · 15/11/2024 21:04

It's actually terrible that a degree qualified nurse who literally deals with life and death situations on a daily basis is struggling financially.

Re the pension - I know the worry about not having saved enough in your 40s. However I would opt out for a set timeframe, say 1 year, to give yourself a bit of breathing space.

Is there a noticeboard or staffnet where people could advertise life shares? Could you start one?

Are you maximising the kind of shifts you do ie Sat night or all day Sunday to get the maximum enhancements?

Rosscameasdoody · 15/11/2024 21:04

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 17:43

this is the best pan at the minute, but from what i can tell, its not the assessor thats making any decisions, even if they are "nice and understanding, when it goes to the decision maker, what they say isnt necessarily interpreted correctly.

Don’t kid yourself. You will be asked to allocate points and all the decision maker will be doing is following what’s in your reports. They are not medically trained and rely on the assessors’ report, which they can use to override the claimants’ own medical evidence. No such thing as a ‘nice’ assessor. You will be bound by the rules and overseen by auditors.

Mumto32022 · 15/11/2024 21:05

School nurse - band 6 pay ?
or another role you could train to get band 6 pay. It’s quite a big jump in pay!

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 21:05

NurseButtercup · 15/11/2024 20:52

Please re-read my advice. You absolutely are ready at minimum, to commence the conversation about progression. This time next year you could be in that band 6 role. Please don't talk yourself out of progression opportunities.

FYI - I achieved my band 6 within 18th months of qualifying. I wasn't even pursuing a band 6 at the time, I was happily plodding along doing the job, worrying about acquiring certain skills & competencies. I was very very strongly encouraged to apply for the band 6 & I got the job.

I have spoken with the lead for education and she knows that is my career goal. After my preceptorship, ive completed the RCN emergency nurse competency framework level 1 and im working on level 2 currently. Once i have these completed I can then seriously start looking at career progression, but the frameworks are quite extensive, im getting them done as quickly as i can. Ive also completed other training, that generally, is more spaced in your first few years, ive done my minors, trauma and triage. Im also on the student wellbeing team, and ive just been accepted to start assisting and completeing audits within the infection prevention team. Randomly, i am also the alcohol withdrawal (which is mostly checking CIWAs are correctly completed) link, but that was more to do with personal interest rather than career progression. Im hoping being proactive in these things is going to help me progress at a faster than average pace. But it also depends on vacancies i guess.

OP posts:
Instakilogram · 15/11/2024 21:11

I am so sorry you are in this position OP. Thank you for all you do as a nurse in A&E. I am sorry I don't have much advise, but I wouldn't not take the pip job solely due to my morals. Morals won't put food on my child's plate or keep a roof over our head. It's a honest and decent living. Just follow the dwp guidance and what your employer has asked of you. You don't make the rules, there's no bad karma on you. It's just a job. Dont let anyone guilt-trip you into not taking a job that works for you (not unless they are willing to pay your bills). I wish you all the very best OP, and hope life gets easier for you and your family.

louddumpernoise · 15/11/2024 21:14

Its fuckin crazy that a nurse on band 5 is struggling so much.

thank you Tories and their voters, for 14 years of running our health service into the ground.

Hope you get to B6 asap.

FeetupTvon · 15/11/2024 21:15

I would go for the PIP assessor role.
I know that you are in your dream job but you can’t continue like this.

Chocbuttonsandredwine · 15/11/2024 21:15

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 20:24

My two younger kids do paper rounds before school, they have 3 rounds between them 6 days a week and they cover kids who are absent and will often cover the one day a week that isnt thier rounds too. They both get up early to get to the paper shop for 6am each day. They have a fantastic relationship with the shop owner, and enjoy their rounds, come rain or snow they are out at 6am doing them, they have one set round each, and prganise whos doing what on the third round between them and split the pay for that accordingly. I know they could probably earn more and McDonalds, but they have a great work ethic, and it fits around school, college, homework, and revision, they still get to see thier friends on the weekend.

it was just a suggestion, not a criticism just incase. They sound like great kids

Arran2024 · 15/11/2024 21:16

caringcarer · 15/11/2024 20:37

This made me laugh. 🤣I have my former foster son on the shared lives scheme. I'm amazed you don't think you have to do much. I have to get the teen up, drive him to college in the morning 20 miles then drive 20 miles home, then collect in the afternoon another 20 miles then go home 20 more miles through rush hour. I do all his laundry, cooking and cleaning and he has a severe learning disability so he can't cope with public transport or looking after himself. He can't read or handle his finances either. Then I have to drive him to the gym 3 evenings a week.and cricket training and karate the other 2 days. OP would have no time for all of this. 🤷

Oh, I have someone stay with me. They do all their own cooking etc. We just provide the room.

GivingitToGod · 15/11/2024 21:17

Congratulations OP on completing your nurse training ang raising 3 children. Working FT and more to keep the boat afloat. You are an inspiration and should be very proud. I don't have any magic answers but I would let PIP assessor go right now. You enjoy your current role which is very important.
The transport costs are a biggie and it seems that cycling would be too tiring for such a journey. You seem so capable and determined, I am sure you have budgeted for the usual food shop; batch cooking etc
I take my hat off to you, I really hope things get better for you

MikeRafone · 15/11/2024 21:18

PrincessofWells · 15/11/2024 17:38

Buy a bike for the travel. There are quite a few brand new mountain bikes from around £85. Or second hand.

after a 14 hour shift... really and hospitals are notorious for bikes being stolen

scotstars · 15/11/2024 21:19

I would try some of the online calculators to see when you take into account deductions, taxis etc if you are better off working or doing less shifts I know UC say you are always better off in work but this doesn't always apply I work part time as if I did another day I'd lose my top up from UC plus have to pay extra childcare

jaimelesoleil · 15/11/2024 21:20

Where is the dad contributing to the children?
Why are you paying for everything?

babyproblems · 15/11/2024 21:21

Spiceeee23456 · 15/11/2024 20:28

@stressedoutstudent
Nurse of 15 years here. I’ve done lots of work in welfare for nursing staff.
Look up the Cavell trust, the RCN foundation and many more. There are charitable and union funds which help nurses experiencing financial hardship. Give them a Google. Searching “funds for nurses with financial hardship” brings up a long list.

It is also worth contacting well-being or looking up a “legacy mentor” in your trust. Your managers may agree to you seeing them for an hour in work time. They may have access to further resources/financial advice that will get you through this time.

Check with HMRC your tax code; mine didn’t allow for my outgoings of washing uniforms, my registration fee and union fees etc, they may reduce your tax code or give you a rebate!

I know these aren’t life changing but just some resources I have tapped into as a nurse over the years.

Keep your head down, once you gain traction, experience and confidence the path to band 6 is quite do able and the pay jumps up!
Pension payments are not mandated. Stop them for a year or two.

Hugs. Thanks for all you do as a nurse.

Edited

This is an epic post! 🥰

girlofsandwich · 15/11/2024 21:21

Another vote for the e-bike, I don't even peddle anymore even if I'm on flat ground 😂Moped sounds great too though if not for you! I am the opposite to you, have never driven and wouldn't be confident on a moped.

Have you looked at your electricity/gas/internet and switched lately? I just switched electricity provider and my bi monthly bill is much cheaper and I got 200 euro credit on sign up. Really should be switching at the end of the contracts but I forget until I'm broke.

Is it worth reviewing your grocery bill? Some posters might be able to help you cut that without too much sacrifice.

Good luck OP, I hope you can find a way to stick with the job you love.

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