12 year old forgot homework, aibu to want to drop it into the school?

[Trumped]

Will she ever learn then? 🙈

Impressed by all these schools that get (non essential) forgotten items to students. Surely that is a huge PITA for most secondary schools unless they are a quite small?

Never did it because I was a teacher. From a very young age my DC learned that they had to be responsible for whatever they needed. DS thought it was very odd that his friend phoned his mum from the school office to ask for his football boots.

I would take it. School days are tough enough without added pressure.

If he failed a maths test, would you expect the teacher to give him help with the bits he didn't understand or just say that he'll never learn if he gets help?

Take him his homework, he didn't do it on purpose and organisational skills are hard to learn.

I always did if I could . They are all fully functional adults now ,and appreciate their Mum.

Of course I'd do it. We all forget things

Mine are still little, but assuming it was a genuine mistake and didn’t happen often, I’d do it without question.
I forgot to get something I really needed the other day, and I asked dh to run into the shop on his way home. I can’t imagine a world where he’d have said no, and told me to live with the consequences.

Jesus, some of these replies. It's like nobody on Mumsnet has ever forgotten something in their life.

Of course you drop it off, as long as its not a daily occurrence and you're physically able.

I forgot my lunch the other days, and DH kindly drove it to the office for me. Oddly enough, he didn't refuse and then give me a lecture to 'teach me a lesson.'

I always did, if I could. My DS is now doing well at university so I wouldn't say it's a lesson needing learning by getting detention or whatever. I think that the actual lesson is learnt when the child feels the "oh fuck I haven't got xyz" moment. If a parent (who is able to do the drop) then refuses, I think the lesson learnt might be, my mum/dad doesn't have my back. Instead of, or in addition to, the lesson you are intending them to learn.

My two have pleasantly surprised me. Both are dyslexic, DS1 has additional issues that affect executive function. In 2+ years I have had to drop his PE kit off once. If they just assumed that I'd auto-pilot bail them out as a substitute for their own planning, then they can face the consequences from school. I am happy to support them for occasional genuine errors about things that they do care about.

I was a bit perplexed about DS2's near detention for not having the PE kit that was in his hand... the plonker opened the bag, saw the black jumper on top, decided that he had no t-shirt and shorts and ended up getting a rollocking and wearing lost property. I'd hope it's a lesson in "looking with your hands" but he's been quite persistant at not learning that over many years.

I have ended up traipsing along a motorway to intersect DH at services after he forgot his passport on a busy day when he was going to an airport via a site visit in the opposite direction. If normally organised people like him can occasionally flounder, the DCs can be spared some kindness too.

I get that if you’re at work and it’s really inconvenient, you might not drop it off. Or if your child is doing this every other week and you’re sick of it. But if it’s a one off/ rare occurrence and you’re able to drop it off without too much inconvenience, then I can’t understand why on earth you wouldn’t.

I'm very much a Tough Titty kind of parent.So, no, we don't bring stuff in they've forgotten.

Do it. My DC was suitably embarrassed not to forget again. They also know I care and will support them when there are mistakes.

When our children forgot things, one of us would take it in to them. It only happened a few times, it’s good to show them you’ll help them out. Anyone can forget something occasionally.

Would you want someone to bring you something you'd forgotten if they could? If so then yes, take it to her. She might worry about it all day if not.

I struggle to get out with everything I need at 36, my DH is the bringer of forgotten things.

I once refused to drop off forgotten swim kit. Turned out DS's House didn't have enough people to enter the House swimming competition as a result.
I have never forgiven myself for letting down a quarter of the entire school (even though it was a 80 minute round trip to drop it off).

as a one off, short term solution, to let the teacher know the child has completed it I really don't see the problem. There's no reason the child can't bring the hard copy in the next day.

well, a viable alternative to a scanner, and next best thing, is a decent photo taken on a phone camera, which most people are able to take? as a one off short term solution to let the teacher know it is done I don't think it's the end of the world to do such a thing.

Imagine your partner had forgotten something work related of equivalent importance. Would you drop it off? Go with that.

I often think we sometimes hold kids to higher behavioural standards (and punishments) than we expect from adults. May be it’s linked to focusing learning on kids rather than expecting it throughout life.

If we focus on how we’d like to be treated in that situation it can help.

I drop things in to ds if I'm able to do so. I also don't make a big deal of it if he forgets something, he's human.

This. Everyone can make a mistake, and it's important - as well as learning to take responsibility - to learn that people are there for you when things go wrong.

Not only would I do it for my DS, I have done it for his friend who lift shares with us. And another mum in that group has helped ds out when he left something at home. If they are generally good at putting the effort in, a bit of help to show you value them not getting a detention supports the need to be ready for lessons, not undermines it imo

I don't think my mum would have brought mine in, even if she could.
She wasn't able to drive and if even if she was off work, it was two buses to get to school and two back, so I'd be on my own!

Me too.

If my kid wasn't making any effort I'd rethink, but while they are trying their best I think it's good to help.

I've forgotten the odd thing the odd time myself. It's a rare occurrence but has happened.

I would. Bit mean not to.