AIBU to do my make up in the bathroom at work

[GonnaBeYoniThisChristmas]

When I get into work I often spend five mins in the ladies loo doing my make up.

A colleague told me the other day that “some people” feel uncomfortable using the loo when I am “standing around in there”. I think she meant because I am outside the cubicle doors standing at the basin/mirror.

I thought doing your make up at work was no more intrusive than washing your hands!

Listening in?

Most people realise and know when using a PUBLIC bathroom, they are going to very likely hear people doing their business because that is its purpose. You’re not doing anything different than any other human who goes in there.

Unless you’re the only person working, someone is likely to come in and hear you.

Most women don’t poop if they know there’s someone outside particularly a work colleague. It’s difficult to hold it sometimes. It would just be polite for the person lingering doing make up etc to just leave and let me poop in private! It’s just good manners.

I don't think there are many people left with manners anymore. It would seem everything is about them and their happiness. Fuck everyone else.

I agree sadly @BusterGonad

How is it good manners to expect someone to leave a public bathroom because you desire privacy?

If someone was standing there fixing/straightening their clothes and hair, brushing their teeth, would you still have an issue or is it just make-up?

These are the things people do in public bathrooms. There is never going to be a guarantee that you are going to get privacy when using a public bathroom.

Not the point of the thread but your work loos must have much better lighting than ours! I can go in fully made up and instantly look like a corpse in the mirror, Christ knows what I'd look like in natural daylight if I'd applied the make up in there. Ronald McDonald probably.

Not quite the same as doing a full face of make up every morning. I straighten my clothes, reapply lipstick, check hair (after using the toilet). I don't do a full face of make up everyday at the same time in my work toilets.

It’s the length of time they would standing there that would be bad manners. Obviously a quick straighten up in mirror, wash hands etc fine. But do the polite thing and leave after - not hang around doing make up you could have done at home

Seems that way nowadays with the entitlement people have. Imagine if u had a really bad stomach, it’s just manners to leave and respect the person, not hanging around listening and doing make up! Ridiculous sense of entitlement!

She has explained why.

Many of us who take public transport know it is pointless to just do it at home when you are going outside and walking to the bus stop/ train or cycling where you have to deal with the elements and/or sweating.

You end up having to reapply anyway. She is also not doing a full face of make-up.

She is not standing there to listen to people use the loo. She is using five minutes to make herself presentable at the mirror that is in there.

It’s entitled to expect absolute privacy in a public bathroom with cubicles because one can’t handle their own anxieties about people hearing them do what humans do in the bathroom.

The person who has an issue could either go in anyway, go in before her or go in after her if they want privacy but that isn’t guaranteed regardless what OP does if someone else decides to walk in while they are using the bathroom.

OP has already said she’ll stop anyway.

I hope there are a lot of architects reading this thread so they design more of the fully enclosed bathrooms in offices and other workspaces 😁 It could be used as a marketing perk for recruitment! Private bathroom poobicles down a long hallway for all!

My friend had a (female) colleague who just let it rip no matter who was at the sinks, and I really admire that attitude, but most of us aren’t there yet, as this thread has demonstrated.

To all the people who mentioned tooth brushing I used to find that annoying as well for the same reasons. Just rinse with water and chew a stick of sugarless gum or something! 😁

I wish I could have seen that poem that got deleted but thanks to the others who posted witty replies as I’ve enjoyed them 😁

Just lock yourself in a cubicle to do it. Not hard since most compacts have a mirror! No one can complain then, silly isn't it.

The person who has an issue may generally have a medical problem with urgency, hence why people with IBD can get cards which they show in shops etc saying they urgently need to use the staff toilets, otherwise they could literally soil themselves. I don't think people are grasping how soul destroying having IBD/bowel cancer etc is. You do NOT do normal toilet things, it doesn't look, sound or smell the same as a normal bowel movement. I feel shame in my home when I'm flaring up, it really is a horrible thing. The lack of consideration and thought for others on this thread is disheartening. Visiting a public toilet isn't the same, as you'll most likely never see that person again, but to walk past someone's desk, you work with on a daily basis, who've heard/smelt your bathroom issues is so embarrassing and they'll most likely joke about it, mention it to others thinking they're/it's hilarious.

Exactly x

@BusterGonad oh dear, I'm afraid to tell you that IBD and IBS are completely different things. One is a syndrome and one is an actual disease that can cause huge destruction to the body. IBD causes damage that only you can imagine. IBS is merely a syndrome that causes uncomfortable feelings and an upset tummy. IBD can have you fighting for your life, the other can have you resting up in bed with a hot water bottle and the shits. Once again I'll say you are ignorant and need to think of others

Thats really patronising. Funnily, medical training teaches you all about both. I’ve encountered people with both. I know the difference, but thanks for assuming I have no idea. However, you have missed the point.

It doesn’t matter if you have IBS, IBD, Salmonella poisoning (which really stinks if they have a decent bout), or any number of other conditions that cause noise or smell. That’s what a toilet is for. Toilets are not just for nice normal poo’s. They are for a myriad of things, some of which are very noisy or very smelly. If a communal toilet/s is/are used it’s accepted that at times they may be subject to the whole gamut of people doing typical poo/wee, explosive poo, smelly poo, really foul smelling poo, vomiting, having periods, injecting prescribed meds, shooting up with illegal substances, or other possibilities. If you go into a communal toilet, then you need to accept that people outside the cubicle will be subject to whatever you are doing in there, and that’s not an issue as it’s a communal space. If you are at the sink/s, you need to accept that you will be subject to whatever is happening in the cubicle/s as it’s a communal space.

While it’s nice for people to think that their toilet noises/smells are ‘special’ they are just not. Any number of conditions that are going to cause atypical noise and smell, no one is the Lone Ranger in that regard. Lots of people about with such conditions unfortunately, nothing special. It certainly should not prohibit anyone from using communal bathroom spaces for whatever reason - whether that be to go to the toilet, do their make up, get changed for the gym or whatnot. If people really think that Sue or Jane two desks over are going to put up posters with their face on it saying they stink in a toilet then it’s a) a HR issue, and/or b) time to look for a new workplace which doesn’t have kindergarten behaviour.

ETA - I also stand by the fact I believe I’ve smelt far worse than your IBD. So will have many many people. I have a friend that works as a medical examiner, and they get some really ripe stuff. They’d probably think whatever your smell is as air freshener in comparison. People who make atypical noise and smell may think they are really special, but they are really not, it’s just a subset of ‘typical’ really, so zero need for any hoo haa on either side of a cubicle.

I don't see an issue with this. Surely you have to touch it up and reapply throughout the day anyway. It's not like your doing it on the commuter train or bus! That would be a bit grim.

People who would actually make jokes about it and choose to embarrass people over bodily functions are jerks, plain and simple, and likely jerks in many other ways so why should we stop people from using the public bathroom for one of it intended purposes. Very doubtful they haven’t made worse sounds.

Most people aren’t bothered because it is a public bathroom and that is what is expected.

Consideration goes both ways. Expecting people not to use the public bathroom for one of its myriad of purposes because some have anxiety over people hearing them use the bathroom for one of the other purposes is unfair.

I still think incredibly lazy - OP said, five minutes if so, get up 10 minutes earlier and do at home! I'd decide on what to wear next day and lay out with accessories and ensure handbag was packed with whatever required. MrCat would pack my lunch!!! So fed up with people chomping continuously at their desks, doing home admin etc. I would brush my teeth (obviously did in the morning - also showered, prior to leaving for work!) after lunch and during my break. I didn't take an additional hour to go shopping but definitely noted people that took the proverbial and was in reviews.

Never in my adult life, encompassing many workplaces, have I ever heard someone joking about or even referring to what someone else was doing in the work toilet. It just doesn't happen.* People are adults – they know everyone needs to poo sometimes. You don't need to see it as a source of humiliation.

If I was at the mirror powdering my nose or whatever, and I heard something that might be embarrassing to the originator, I'd finish what I was doing and try to leave before they came out of the cubicle, but it's not reasonable to expect me to drop everything half-finished and run.

*except for the time one of the male managers was caught having a sneaky wank in there, that went round the office like wildfire

Honestly, how hard is it to understand that putting your make-up on at home when you have to take public transport and that it can and does get diminished by the elements or your own sweat by time you get to work if a larger part of it is walking and waiting outside.

It’s obvious the people who mainly drive everywhere and rarely ever take a bus.

@phoenixrosehere just seen. Only use public transport. Most of my working life was in London, however had to commute all over England and Wales, never once had to slather slap on during the journey; usually concentrated on breakfast! Just involves having a bit of a routine - ensuring clothes selected for next day and factoring time in to shower and make-up - I must have been good at latter because was asked to advise a few work colleagues re their wedding make-up. So obviously not doing outrageous Real Housewife type of make-up!