How old is too old to have a baby?

[Shaz83]

Just wondering how old is too old to have a baby? Fair enough being healthy etc is fine.. but how old is too old?

@Shaz83 I was classed as an elderly prim at 25!!! I think that anyone who has a baby after 39-40 is crazy!!!

I was 36 & 38 when I had my boys and I'm now 46. I would definitely say 42 would have been my cut off.

I had DC at 40 & 43. I'm now 57 and we are all doing very well.
I was tempted to have had another one but I couldn't afford it.

It's very personal.

I was done having children by age 18 which is another extreme, so I wouldn't be in a position to tell anyone they are too old as they could say that I was too young.

It depends much on individual circumstances. In an ideal world, I would have preferred to have had children before 30, or definitely by 35. As it was I didn't meet my husband until I was 31, and we married when I was 33. Our son was born, 3 weeks off my 36th birthday. So, I was 35 at the time my son was born. We didn't have any more children after. A friend of mine had her 2 children in her late teens/early 20's, split from their Dad, met someone else and had a 3rd child at 44!! There is no right or wrong answer, it's purely down to individual perception and circumstances.

I've got to 35 having never considered having a baby. Definitely feel way too young.

Still on the fence about the whole thing but leaning towards staying child free.

Most of the women I work with (London Finance) who have kids had them late 30s / early 40s.

And you have no idea what it’s like to have a baby within that bracket.

So many children are born to families devoid of love and care. As long as the child is cherished and loved, who cares how old their mother is?

I had my two in my early thirties after some fertility struggles. I would've kept trying until it happened, or until I was physically unable. Whatever age that may have been.

Kids before 35 is easy to say when you've had your kids. Well I am 28 weeks and over 40 midwife was amazed at my stomach muscles today. In hindsight I would have started earlier but a combination of career/travel/life got in the way but now I feel more financially secure, married, earn well over 100k with room to grow, house.

I got pregnant with my first and only aged 36. 40 was the cut off I had in mind at the time, but had I not got pregnant by then, I may have increased this, I don’t know…

Good question.

I would have possibly/probably had two if I started before 30. As it was, a number of health factors meant I waited until 32/33 to try, and had my son at 34.

Because of said health factors, I'm reluctant to consider getting pregnant soon (horrible pregnancy meaning that I can't work on my health to improve it during pregnancy), and realistically not until 38.

If I improve my health, I won't want to throw it away on a shit pregnancy. If I don't improve my health, I won't want to make it worse with a shit pregnancy.

So I'm one and done.

I thought it was over 35.

I agree with you. I had my first at 21 and second at 22. 30 would be too old for me to have another imo. It’s not an ‘old’ age but it’s ‘old’ in the sense that I can’t be arsed at that age

There are two aspects to balance when choosing to have children: biological and social. Biologically, everyone would agree that younger is usually better, so say ages 18-30. Socially, a lot of women don’t feel they are in a secure enough place to have children young.

In a perfect world, I would have aimed to have children around ages 25-35 probably. However, my life circumstances meant that I’m actually having them around 40. Being married, financially stable and with the ability to stay home with any children while they are young were important factors to me so I’m doing it later (and it’s working out well).

If fit enough 45ish. Though if you can have one without intervention later then who's to say it's too old? My friend had hers at 46 (after being married at 29 she'd pretty much given up), and Cherie Blair at 48...
I didn't meet my DH til I was 39 and had mine at 41 and 43. Sure it would have been nice to have them younger but life doesn't always respond well to deadlines.

This is the crux. I am an older parent but very healthy, financially secure, happily married, strong extended family, flexible work. I think that some younger people may have more problems than I do due to lacking these supports. But I would still not be an older mother by choice, if only I had been able to conceive when younger. I am just lucky that circumstances allowed older parenthood to be pretty straightforward for me.

I had mine at 39 and 41 and I'm so glad I didn't have them earlier. Just the right age for me

I would have drawn the line at 40, both in terms of my health and thr baby's health (plus likelihood of conceiving without considerable heart ache every month). I had one of mine at 32, and one at 38.

I had my girls (twins) at 32. Hubby was 43.

I think 40 would be my cut off as a woman - more because i couldn’t personally imagine being 50 with a 10yr old. Not sure it matters for men (as long as they are still fit n healthy).

I agree it's going to be different for everyone.

I had my first at 24 and my second at 31.

I wasn't sure I wanted another and decided at 30 I'd give it a go. But only gave myself that year. If it hadn't happened, I wouldn't have done it any older than that.

My youngest has just gone to university. I wouldn't want to be bringing up a child now.

There seems to be at least one of these threads a week. I think nature decides when you're too old. Most women can't conceive or carry a pregnancy to full term past about 43. Yes some do but most will struggle. That to me is nature saying "You're too old".
I had mine at 35 and 38. All I wanted was to have children so I would most definitely have been trying in my 40s if I didn't have children by then.
However, I do wish I'd had them earlier. My children have limited time with their grandparents, obviously they have less time with us too. Raising kids during menopause is hard.
I think one issue is women often feel fantastic in their late 30s and early 40s. I felt brilliant when I had my second at 38. I felt no different to when I was 25. However, many women (not all) are about to hit a pretty rough period of perimenopause and menopause. Going through that with young kids is hard and exhausting.
I'm 50 very soon and have a teenage daughter and 11 year old son. Thanks to peri, I have insomnia, Brain fog, anxiety, low energy. It would just have been better to raise children when I was younger.

Nature gives us a pretty wide window for a good reason. Different women have different needs. If you start your period at 13 and you finish them at 50 then I'd shave five years off each end and say ball park anywhere between 18 and 45 is ideal. I was older at 34/36/38 and I do feel think on how old I'll be when my youngest is 40 - will I still be around ect but then I see my mum struggling to look after her mum. There's only 18 years between them and it's hard on mum who's almost 70 trying to look after an almost 90 yo and I'm not sure I'd want my kids struggling to care for me when they should be enjoying retirement. Swings and roundabout's.

Depends what you mean. Too old physically? When you've finished menopause. Too old practically? How longs a piece of string

Anytime after 40 i think is personally insane. Although my cut would be up to 35

35. Has my last aged 34. I felt enough was enough by that point.