How old is too old to have a baby?

[Shaz83]

Just wondering how old is too old to have a baby? Fair enough being healthy etc is fine.. but how old is too old?

So true I was out enjoying life to the max care free! And couldn’t imagine being stuck at home with kids so young I wasn’t ready until I met dh at 30…
and you are so right I should not care what people think.

I had my second and last at 25, which I know is on the younger side. But I’m 37 now and absolutely can not imagine having a toddler or baby at this age. For me 30 is the cut off. My Mum had me at 30 and I viewed her as an older Mum.
I think for me, I view this time in life as ‘my time’ where as I guess most people do that in their twenties when I had 2 children.
But I do feel at 37 I’m getting ‘old’. I worry about health problems beggining to arise in coming years and I’m glad that my kids will be older when and if that happens.

People grossly overstate the risks of later pregnancies and forget that younger pregnancy is no guarantee against additional challenges or poor outcomes.
Nothing in life is perfect. We all take life as it comes.

I had mine at 38 and 41. They are teens now. I do feel a bit sad I am not younger to enjoy their teens but we are still a pretty active family and do a lot of adventure sports together. Also a bit sad about the grandparent gulf - I could be in my 80s with primary aged GCs.

But sad enough I wish I didn't have kids. Not on your nelly. That's insane!

Making this a mildly interesting question - the answer to which is always: there are different drawbacks at different ages - a sweet spot in the middle (27 to 32) with the fewest drawbacks, but life seldom works that neatly and as long as you can get pregnant it's fine.

@Nursingadvice my mother was 39 having me and I never even noticed she was an older mum until I was a teenager. I can’t believe you thought your mum was old at 30! Maybe where you live it is different to where I live but even when I was a child 30 was in no way old to be a mother.

No such thing as “too old” for a natural pregnancy in my opinion. I don’t know many people under 30 who have the house, finances and career in place to think bringing a baby into the world is a good idea. Hence the “older” age of mothers these days.

I am 36 and pregnant with my first. For me personally the cut off would probably be 40 for having another.

Then why ask:

Just wondering how old is too old to have a baby? Fair enough being healthy etc is fine.. but how old is too old?

If you don't want anyone to actually answer the exact question you've asked because your age is what 95% of people consider as too old?

If you wanted a thread telling you what you want to hear, maybe go with:

Tell me what's great about being an elderly mother. Only great things. Nothing else.

Because as this is your 4th identical thread that's got 4 lots of identical answers that you don't like. If you keep asking the same question, you'll get the same answers.

Also wondering if you've (allegedly) had a baby 2 months ago, and didn't think you were too old for that, why on earth you need all this (attention?) pondering when you're the grand sum of 2 months older than when you find it acceptable to have a baby? It's 2 months.

Depends how fit and healthy and active you are. Two friends had final babies in their forties. One is super fit and active and is a real powerhouse and loving it all. She’s full of energy. The other one is…not. And she’s really, really struggling.

Active mum has a bad sleeper too and the other one has a really good sleeper. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Among my DCs friends, well educated professionals, the usual
age for first baby is 35 ish, maybe 37 if it takes a while to conceive. Second ones then usually up to 40/42. DS became a father at 38 and DD will be just 39 when she has her first .

Yep I’m 50 and don’t really feel much different to my 30’s. I’m a little bit lazier and less fit, but that’s mainly because technology has reduced the need to be as active.

i would have another baby now if i got pregnant, I think I’d cope ok. I don’t want to though as I’m getting my life back and have shit to do.

I do think this narrative that older mothers find it harder and are more “tired” is more because most older mother are on their second or third. I don’t think there’s much difference in energy levels between a 20 year old with one and a 35 year old with one. If you’re comparing yourself at 20 with one vs at 35 with 3 then of course you’ll be exhausted at that age 😂

why do you keep on messaging me…… like u got a serious problem…..If 95% of people think I’m too old at 41 then fine it doesn’t bother me now because I have also read so many positive stories and reassuring ones so I don’t listen to the negative ones…. I soak In the nice ones which has helped me incredibly with my insecurities because of my age…me thinking I am too old for another….i know I’m not too old now…. It’s just my insecurities and I shouldn’t be insecure.. and I won’t let you put me down no way!

Could not agree more. Saying when you would like to have children is like saying when would like to ideally win the lottery. Every journey is different and it’s not always straightforward or easy. It happens for each person differently and giving a time is potentially wishful or naive and not always realistic.

The right time is the right time for you.

I'm not messaging you.

Are you confused as to how a public online forum works?

It's just stupid pretending you're actually pondering if you're too old to have a baby, when you had one two months ago (although the number of kids you allegedly have changes thread by thread).

Omg omg is it too old to have have a baby two months older than I clearly think it's fine to have a baby? 41 is brilliant, but the very idea of being 41 and two months? Your 6th. When "all my 3 children are under 4"

Okkkk.....

She was 60. (This was some time ago!)

Ok lol 😂😂😂 let me explain to you now once and for all. I Have twins and another child 3 under 3. I have a 9 year old. So basically I have had back to back pregnancies I’m pregnant with my 5th. Im due very soon. I’m considering in getting pregnant asap for my last which would be due when I’m 42 if I got pregnant asap again so being pregnant at 41.
I have all ready explained my self that I should have been clearer and explaining my self again when I shouldn’t have to. Yea I have made 4 threads they have not been clear I should have been clearer I realise that. So now please leave me alone.

Meant to say 3 UNDER 4. Hopefully that’s made you feel better. 🙂

My friend is preg at 45

( shes had 5 failed private ivf and now preg with donor egg )

Im 37 - nearly 38..

Had a heart breaking miscarriage at 36.5

About to do ivf

Wow congratulations to your friend.

im really sorry about your miscarriage I really hope ivf works for you.

I had my first at 37 and last at 40. I’m 54 now and it’s all been fine

Exactly, it’s individual to the mother involved surely and nobody else’s business.

Personally 30 for me.

But 38ish if no medical concerns.

Had mine at 26 and 28.

I was 32 with my last and I think that was just a bit old. I wish I had them before 30. I would definitely have one now at 39/40 if I didn’t have any though.

Surely it totally depends on individual circumstances though. If I’d had my children before I was 30 they wouldn’t have had a stable home to live in and myself and my partner would have been unmarried and not earning enough to give them a comfortable upbringing. By the time we were 32 and expecting our first child we were married, owned our house and were both in stable employment. We spent our 20s travelling and experiencing life.

There isn’t a particular number that is too old to have a baby. A pensioner could provide a more stable and loving home for a baby than a 20 year old in some circumstances.

A 9 year old and a 3 year old is not back to back pregnancies.

I made this thread to see if 42 is old and to get reassurance what is wrong with that?

Why make apparently multiple threads and why make it so general it seems to attract criticism of older mothers?

The only place I see this idea of less time with kids being used as a reason not to have kids at all as an older mum is on your threads.

In the end everyone will have an opinion and none will really care as it won't really affect them. Every pg I had someone close to us kicked off about it being a bad idea - even though it had no effect on them.

Honestly when we become parents, age gap how many where we brought them up everyone had vocal opinions on - ultimately it was fuck all to do with them and zero impact on their lives.

If you are actually struggling maybe see if you can access some counselling in RL and talk it though with the other half of this equation your DP/DH the main other person affected.

Otherwise constantly stating these threads to get offended people have differing view on parental age in the abstract so you can get upset and offended is bloody odd and hard to see how it's helpful to anyone.