How old is too old to have a baby?

[Shaz83]

Just wondering how old is too old to have a baby? Fair enough being healthy etc is fine.. but how old is too old?

I think 35. I personally think the ideal age to have a baby is age 27/28. I wouldnt have considered it after 33.
I'm 45 now and there isn't a chance I would cope with a newborn. Also I don't want to be doing school run and sort/pay childcare in My 50s. I want to start preparing for retirement, saving, paying off mortgage.

I made this thread to see if 42 is old and to get reassurance what is wrong with that?

Absolutely! It’s all down to personal circumstances and rarely choice! I had mine at 32 and 40 with 2 losses.Not what I would have chosen but there were positives about such a large age gap, especially as I became the only parent. Now I am in my 50s and unlike other friends, who are still building careers, will be able to retire on a healthy pension and still be a hands on Granny (I hope!)
often it’s the hand you’re dealt- when I was 20 I wouldn’t have dreamt of having a baby ‘late’ but then I thought 25 was old…

Not everyone gets a choice. I kissed a few frogs in my 20s and early 30s, but would have been joyous to be pregnant. Stable relationship by mid 30s long enough to start trying. About to turn 39 after years of trying, miscarriage, failed ivf. Bit depressing reading that in most people's opinions I'm "too old". My fault reading the opinions though!

Lol .

Many posters pointing out that according to your own words, on your own various threads, you are:

1. pregnant with a daughter
2. considering a pregnancy
3. all your three children are under 4
4. have a 9yo DD

Is not bullying. You might want to look up what that means. You said those words, but seem to be mad that people have caught you out. And it's simple fact, all the versions can't be true. It's not our fault you're lying. Only you know why you're doing it.

Getting sulky at the (now many) posters now catching you out on your many versions of "DC" that you simultaneously claim to have at the same time is shitty. Because actual people are taking the time to advise you. Genuinely.

And you've made up at least 3 different versions of your own life, which you keep avoiding acknowledging, despite me being now the 4th poster to catch you out.

Absolutely MN should be having a look "behind the scenes". I think I'll let them know.

I think for most people their cut offs are in an ideal world as no one can really say for sure how they’d feel if they went past their ideal age and still didn’t have a child. Some would probably decide they were too old, but I suspect many would move the goal posts.

for me personally it’s never been an issue as I had my kids young. In an ideal world I wouldn’t want kids post 35 due to my family history. But other people have different circumstances and so probably don’t feel the same way. Everyone has to make the choices that seem right to them at the time. Other people can make their own and shouldn’t worry about what others think of their choices.

I had mine in mid-late 30s. Already felt worn out with the second one at 39. I always told myself I didn't want to be pregnant in my 40s. But I understand that for some people it's not a choice – several friends just didn't have the opportunity to have kids until their 40s.

I know someone who had kids in her 50s (IVF). Each to their own, and it worked out ok, but I think it's irresponsible, as the kids could end up orphans at an early age.

I can't help but find these questions bad taste, I know they dont mean to be. Plenty of women start trying earlier but it takes years. I remember seeing a lady on here who was ttc for 18 years. When you need treatment, you often have long waiting lists, and have to wait months between failed cycles. I know this is about personal preferences, but I think everyone's opinion on what 'too old' would be would be massively different if family planning didn't come easily, whether through infertility or life circumstances that have never lined up to have a baby until they were deemed 'too old' by others.

ok this is the real story I’m considering in getting pregnant straight after a couple of months for my 6th! Because I have always wanted a big family and struggled with infertility for so long! Hence why I’m asking is it too old! Fair enough I might have not posted correctly and fair enough I should have mentioned my 9 year old bless her. She is self managed I thought I mention the younger ones because I do have 3 under 4! I didn’t know I had to mention it straight away! So now leave me alone!!

My husband laffed and said babe we are never getting divorced! 😂

Look, you're 41 and you want a baby. If you've thought it about it carefully and your DH is on board, then why not go for it?
I don't see why you've started four posts about this. It's your life, if you'll be happy to do it then go for it. Our opinion is irrelevant (especially when you dismiss the negative posts anyway).
You'll always get a range of opinions (as you have in your four posts). Some people think 30 is too late, while others think 45 is fine. Some people love being older mums, whilst others find it tough.
There's are pros and cons of being an older mum, just as there are pros and cons of being a young mum. It seems like you only want to hear the pros.

I don't think there is a right answer to this. I'm 43 and have not been lucky enough to have children. A close friend in her 30s has a toddler, and whilst I have loved being involved in his life from the start, I have come to realise restarting fertility treatment again now would probably be a mistake.

I have a colleague who is 46 who.has just had her 5th child (happy accident she called it) and she has just got straight back into the swing of things and is loving having another one.

@Shaz83 surely it depends on your circumstances? I would have loved to have a baby in my 20s or 30s but sadly that was not possible.

I'd advise some self care and in future don't open and read these threads

I had my last baby 4 months ago at 35 I wouldn't want any after the age I am now

Exactly, it hugely depends on the person. There are 50 year olds with more energy, and in better health than some 30 year olds. Some people need more sleep than others, so do better on less. Others would prefer to do other things than raise a baby as they get older, especially if they have dcs already. Just do what suits you!

In an ideal world I think 40 is the oldest. Dealing with teenagers in my 59’s would be sheer hell. Couple that with menopause and looking after elderly relatives it would be awful. But everyone is different.

Yes I just want to hear pros absolutely! No one wants to hear the bad side! Not me anyway!

You have come to the wrong place then.

You have summed this up perfectly in 2 lines 👍

After menopause!
Every one is different. I had my last at 33 but have friends who didn't meet their partners until later. I don't consider myself a better parent than them because I was younger 🙃

Why does it matter what other people think ? I see some people on this thread saying over 30 is too old.. which is just bizarre to me, in my 20s I was out travelling and having the best years and can’t imagine having kids at that age. Im sure it has its advantages though. It all depends on your own circumstances and it doesn’t matter what other people think .

Personally, 40. Met DH at 27, married at 33, DDs at 34 and 38 and was very very much done at that point!

not really there has been some lovely people who have been reassuring so thanks so much to those people. others negative comments I don’t listen to…