How old is too old to have a baby?

[Shaz83]

Just wondering how old is too old to have a baby? Fair enough being healthy etc is fine.. but how old is too old?

For me the cutoff was 30 as I have health issues and knew I would struggle.
I have friends who had their first in their late thirties and early forties and are absolutely thriving.

I think you're too old to have kids when you feel too old to have kids.

Can anyone good heartedly recommend a mainstream secondary school in Wandsworth? I have checked all the reviews of the schools and basically almost all say not to take my kid there as of bullying, teachers on power trip, mental abuse etc… I am a bit scared now as i cant afford private school.
All feedback would be much appreciated 🙏🏻

Had mine at 36 and 40. Have never felt particularly tired or that I was too old. I’m really fit and healthy though and at 58 am fitter than I’ve ever been. No regrets at all.

Hi @EniHilo

Just to let you know that you posted your question on a thread about maternal age so you won’t get any replies to your question.

If you ask MN to move your post to a new thread you’ll hopefully get replies to your question.

Good Luck

@EniHilo you need to start your own thread not comment on someone else’s, you’ll get more replies that way.

Oh noo!!! Sorry everyone honest mistake, first time here

You won't be too tired, 36 is young- I had mine at 28 and 33 but out of friends we are very much the odd ones out as they were early 40s with under 5s.

You’re not too old! Age is just a number. It’s attitude and fitness that matter. I’m 58 and have never felt younger frankly! I’ve got to the age where I DGAF anymore which has made me feel really free, and I’ve been following a fitness regime that has made me feel great about myself. I hate the attitude that you’re too old to do that, too old to wear that, too old to have a baby. It’s all bollocks! Embrace your inner young person and go for it!

I think under 40 is fine, after that I think the teenage years would be a lot to put up with

After my first round of IVF at 37.5 my GP commented that I was still young and not to worry, there was still plenty of time for it to work. I went on to do a second round and none of the doctors or nurses, in the hours of appointments, testing, consents and education videos etc, ever said anything about age being a credible risk factor to mum or baby. It must be small enough that they don't feel a need to warn people. I did choose to do PGT-A for chromosomally normal embryos and had euploid blasts on both rounds.

I had to have IVF in the end to have my baby. My husband and I are both 37 and love our baby dearly. When people ask us how we’re finding being parents we answer truthfully that we absolutely love it. But we know we love it more because we’ve decided never to do this again 😂 We would have gone till whatever age but I think if you had a choice early 30s would be better. I used to be so fit and was doing Zumba till fairly late in my pregnancy but late pregnancy and a c section means after an 8 minute run I’m exhausted. I think it’s possibly easier to bounce back if you’re younger.

I was 34 when DD was born. She recently turned 18. I'd actually say go younger,, not older. We met young, 3DC, and have been married 30 yesrs. Our eldest is 28. I became ill when DD was young with a serious condition that couldn't have been predicted. Being younger and healthy with much more energy is better in my opinion than any financial advantage. I never thought I'd say that.

I think people vary a great deal in how quickly they age at a biological level. Some look and feel old by 35. Others are still remarkably youthful at 45, so it’s hard to generalise. This applies to fertility as well and even lifespan.

Women that have children later are statistically likely to live longer so citing average lifespan for the whole population doesn’t capture the reality for instance. Also, anecdotes of people struggling to get pregnant over 35 or feeling very tired in their 40s don’t apply to everyone. A healthy woman of 40 can easily have better fertility and energy than an unhealthy one at 30.

Am quite surprised in the number of people saying 40 is too old.
i had my little one at 40, I had travelled the world, lived abroad , had my high powered jobs ~ so by the time I was 39/40 I was ready.
I am in a great place mentally, financially, and physically am the healthiest I’d ever been and have the life skills and so much patience now than I did when I was younger.
Some people have to go through years and years of IVF to have a baby too. So I would say everyone is different… You do the right time for YOU!!!

Totally depends on how you feel and your circumstances I think. I had my first at 19 with my ex he's now 12. I'm now nearly 32 trying for my second with my current partner and if we're lucky enough for it too happen we'll definitely keep going and have more until we can't anymore the more the merrier in our eyes. I still have the energy as I did back when my first was young

I had my first at 24 and second at 42. I’m now 46 with a 23 year old and 4.5 year old. The second pregnancy was rough,
not terrible just different to my first. It took its toll on my body, I coped fine with the sleepless night but DH who is the same age as me struggled. I wanted another about 15 months later, we were both 44. DH said no we were too old, at the time I was upset but looking back over the past couple of years he was right. Physically it would have been too much. Even though we are both healthy . Instead we got a puppy lol well that’s something else entirely! Fast forward this year and we’ve both had surgery for wear and tear and broken bones etc. I think early 40s fine but any later it’s just too hard on your body.

i had mine young so never really had to think about it. But if I hadn’t I think my cut off would have been about 35.

this isnt because I think I would feel too tired or unable to cope with a baby in my late 30s or early 40s. I’m 39 now and fitter and more active than many in their 20s. But because both my parents health started to decline in their 60s and I wouldn’t want to have a child at college/uni still needing a lot of support when I’m that age. My parents had a baby in their 40s and it was tough on all of them. It’s not for me.

I always felt 35 was my cut off. I was 29 and 30 when we had ours but I wanted another one or two. However, financially we were never in a position for a third. When I got to 35 I still wanted another but by 37 I knew I was done. I wasn’t broody anymore.

My kids are now 15 and 17 and I’m glad we stopped at two. I know we couldn’t give more children enough time or resources without it negatively impacting the whole family.

I’ve always said that 43 was the cut off for me personally, but I won’t really know until I get there. In general, I think mid forties is the cut off. After that I’d be raising my eyebrows a bit. Absolutely not after 50, regardless of whether you’re the mother or father.

It's quite sad really. Invented numbers of kids on various threads. And 4 threads about how she's definitely not too old at 41, because the 200+ people who've said that it's too old in their opinion didn't say that she was too old directly.

But this won't matter because she's pregnant already with a daughter on another thread. Yet considering whether she should have "another" baby on this one. Then there's a 9yr old. Yet simultaneously "all of my three children are under 4"

She's clearly struggling. There's an imaginary 6 bedroom house and she's vairy rich too. Whatever makes some people happy I guess.

Omg still going on….grow up get over it please your life must be that sad if you still thinking about my posts….. there are real people with real issues out there and serious issues and you still going on about this. Omg just really get over it if you can. Because I’m past it and very relaxed in my self.🥰

Say one more thing to me regarding my posts I will report you for bullying.

My user name says it all. I'm a very happy, healthy mother to a now 19 month old. Ideally would I have had her younger? Probably yes. But I don't regret it for a second and I've got more financial stability and patience than I had in my late twenties/ early thirties. I would consider myself a "young" 42 though if that makes sense and people are usually surprised when I say how old I am.

I didn't meet my DH until I was 30, first at 33 then a failed pregnancy followed by ttc I felt 40 was the limit. Found I was pregnant a week after my 40th birthday.

@Shaz83 to be honest, OP, you have made this post only to get validation for what you want to do! you should really be discussing this with your hubby/partner!! also, have you considered what would happen if you were to split up/divorce? would you be able to afford and look after 5 kids by yourself?? everyone is entitled to their opinion regarding what constitutes an elderly mother!!