How old is too old to have a baby?

[Shaz83]

Just wondering how old is too old to have a baby? Fair enough being healthy etc is fine.. but how old is too old?

How old was she when she got her state pension?!

For women, if you are biologically capable of conceiving naturally , you're not too old.

For men I would suggest a cut off of around late 40s to ensure you're not still bringing up children past retirement age and to make it more likely you'll live to see your children grow up.

Would have been 60, my mum got hers at that age so child support benefit until they are 18 so overlaps by a year. That’s my maths!

Clearly are bothered otherwise why message a negative comment.

Depends on your circumstances. I would have loved to have kids in my 30s and it didn’t happen, I had to wait till my 40s The most difficult for me is a lack of support - I’m looking after a 6 year old and elderly parents. As well as a full time job. It’s all a bit much sometimes tbh, but that’s the same problem many women face, regardless of age.

40. My mum was 60 when I graduated and looked more like my grandma. We weren't close due to the age difference. She seemed like an old lady. And then too old to be a hands-on grandma when I had my dc.

I wouldn’t want to be coping with teens in my 60’s and I’d like to be around to support my children in their adulthood and if they have children of their own. I’d hate to have care needs as they are trying to cope with young family. I had mine in my 20’s and another at 31. Life in my 50’s is mine and has been for years, I have all the time I want to do anything or nothing and I really do appreciate it. Like everything the load increases over time, a 3 year old in late 40’s might be manageable but a 17 year old in mid 60’s not so. It really depends on your health.

I had my youngest at 44 - she’s 22 now - the pregnancy was the pits (I had hypergravidim but I also had that with my 1st). The rest was no different to my first. I think it really depends how young you feel - I didn’t feel any different to many of the other mums who were 10 yrs younger (I don’t think many of them knew).

33 to 36 is my ideal age to have kids but it’s taken us longer than expected so I’ll be at least 35 when we have our first. I think up to 41 is probably fine in this day and age. My parents had me at 41/42 though and they felt a lot older than my friends’ parents when I was a kid, and I do think the age gap feels quite significant. But having kids any younger than 33 just doesn’t feel realistic when you’re saving up for a house and building a solid career and nest egg which you can leave to compound over the years. Plus we got to do a lot of fun travelling and have great experiences that our friends who had kids young wish they had had before having kids.

No one cares lol. You're an elderly mother and you think it's great.

But would very much like to know why you're lying that "all 3 of my children are under 4" on one thread when you've got "DD aged 9" on another, and the threads are 2 months apart.

Liars on the internet intrigue me.

I had my first at 37 and third at 44 (came as a total surprise). Having children later in life meant that we were more confident, had decent jobs, had travelled extensively and lived life to the full before kids came along.

As long as you're body is able to do so healthily, it's not too old.

Most people can look after a baby. A 50 year old could look after a baby. But I don't want to be parenting a teenager in my 60s! I also don't want my teenager being worried about my health and longevity because I'm in my 60s. One of my best friends was in tears at uni because her dad was a lot older than her mum (in his 70s at the time) and was diagnosed with alzheimers, she was 20. While things can happen any age, I just wanted to have my kids as old as possible before having to worry about my health or care.

In my friends group almost 100% of us had our first child between 30 & 40. One had a baby at 18 and another at 23/24. After uni we all started on career paths, travelling, working overseas, and didn’t get married until late 20s. As much judgement as there is on this thread for having a baby over 35 you can turn it around and ask how young is too young. I find it odd when I meet someone in late 30s or early 40s who is already a grandparent.

I had my children in my early 20s and would be gutted if my children had children before 30. I’ve spent loads on their education and want them to go to uni and build a career and travel the world whilst carefree (and not end up reliant on a husband like I was). I would say start at 32 with 40 as the finish nowadays.

I didn’t meet my husband until I was 40, we had our daughter when I was 41, been trying for a second since she was 9mths old (she is now 3.5) and it’s not happened. I’m desperate for her to have a sibling as being older parents, want her to have someone into adulthood. We will give it until next year when I turn 46 before giving up and getting a puppy!

This is such a strange thread, I’ve answered YABU, because you’re going to get (and have got!) so many different answers. Not sure what you were expecting.

Everyone has a different opinion, and no one can really give you a definitive answer.

Some say ‘oh I’m so glad I had mine young, now in my 40s I can do whatever I want’ whilst others (myself included) felt they weren’t ready for kids in their 20s. Or 30s even. Personally, I wouldn’t want to be a grandma in my mid 40s, and I don’t feel old and past it at all.
But each to their own!!

I just really divides people, and I think it’s completely unnecessary tbh.

I wanted to be done by 35, and I was lucky that was possible as I met someone and we didn’t have any fertility issues. I don’t judge others for being older parents, though. People have all sorts of different circumstances.

One of my bosses has just become a Dad again in his 60s (second marriage, younger wife) and I do privately think ‘good luck to you, Sir!’. But he seems thrilled, so fair enough.

Had mine at 33 would love to have another now at 43 but sadly went through early menopause. Wasn't up to it in my son's early years due to problems with blood clots etc.

I’m not really sure. A couple of my friends had their first children at 40/41 they have fair more energy than me. I think maybe I could have done 38 so starting school now. My SIL had hers at 18 and 20, she died at 36 so I don’t think who can make your decision based on how long you’ll have with your children. More how fit and healthy you are at this time.

Some women start at 40 as they only settle down at 40. I'm 43 and I wouldn't have one now unless my contraception didn't work.

My mother is old and need support and care. I have my own small children. Many people have involved grandparents and I have extra responsibilities. Mother was 38 having me. I've already lost my father. I don't think dying young itself is the problem it's burdening a young person in their 20s with your care. It's not being able to physically play with your kids. I have been jealous all my life of those who's parent are involved in their life. Now that could be due to age but an older parent could make extra effort to be there but mine just didn't. If you are aware and trying to mitigate it then it's fine. If you expect your child to pander to your old age while having a young family of your own then done do it. It's cruel. Because we can't say no we are too busy to help- that's abandoning our parenting who gave us life. I'm a shell of a person so many people rely on my care. My dad died last year and all I felt was relief I now would have more time for my kids. That's so very wrong. But that's the reality of having to care for elderly parents. Just be aware of that

It totally varies on you and your situation at the time.

My husband and I agreed that we would not have any children past our 20s and had two children in our 20s.

That has worked out really well for us and that's what we wanted. However, it's not for everyone.

I had my 3rd at 36. But I was lucky that I’d met DH early and had DC1 at 30.

I knew I wanted to be a mother so if circumstances had been different & I hadn’t met someone I would have probably tried for children up to the age of 45. I’m 50 now and the thought of having child under 5 is a bit scary!

that’s because I was mentioning how I have very young ones that’s all. Yea I have a 9 year old…. And now you know is that a problem? So what is the next argument?