How old is too old to have a baby?

[Shaz83]

Just wondering how old is too old to have a baby? Fair enough being healthy etc is fine.. but how old is too old?

I had DS at 41/nearly 42. I was a very young 41. I feel ancient at 55. My DP is now 60 and has struggled from the beginning. I feel guilty that DS is an only child, with older parents.

Oh, this again!!

Your body decides when its physically too old, the rest is personally choice.

Over 35.

I didn't say that. I said most people who have a baby late will get less time with their children, and also that more of that time will be when they're old.
Yes. I know that some people live to 90 or 100 but most don't. We all know what the average life expectancy is and that most people will die around that age. Also, while some 95 year old are sprightly and in good health, many aren't. I have quite a lot of experience of dealing with older people who have poor quality of life and whose children worry and stress about them.
But look, I'm not criticising older mums. I'm an older mum and I know some brilliant older mums. For many women like me, being an older mum is the only option they had. Life in our society is geared up to having fun in your 20s and establishing a career. It's pretty hard to find a man who wants to settle down young too!
I'm simply pointing out the reasons why I wish I'd had them younger, and the benefits of doing so.

My friend had her second set of twins at 47. Her first set were 17!

It's annoying because you are already over 40 and considering another baby, yet you haven't actually expressed this in the OP. You have an agenda which is causing you to argue against opinions (and that's all they are, opinions) that someone your age is too old.

You're loaded with a big house and garden, apparently, so just have the baby if you want one.

@Shaz83 OP are you thinking of having a baby or another baby? do you yourself think you might be too old?

Yeeaaaaah.

Turns out in September OP had a "9yr old daughter", but in November she posts "all 3 of mine are under 4"

I wonder which ones live in the "6 bedroom house"....

i have read so many posts from so many people on here and other threads I have made which are similar… reading them has made me feel that having a baby at 42 is not actually that bad. Those that sent such beautiful positive posts have for sure change my mind set. My mum is my perfect example but wanted to hear from others.
you then have people sending posts who put Down the major down sides but nothing positive just it’s all bad.
for people like me and others out there who suffered infertility like I did for 6 years and suffered miscarriages.
should we give up at age 41?? Let’s say.. because it’s too old?? Nothing good comes from those negative posts and it does hit a nerve naturally…
i have asked when is it too old I didn’t ask for pure negative comments that make you feel like it’s not a good idea…. Because those negative comments are not nice….just put a number there is no need to post complete negative comments because there are older moms at 41 and pregnant how must they feel when they read negative comments. Fair enough I asked how old is too old but my god I didn’t think people would actually post pure negativity i thought it would be lovely reassuring comments which most have been and I’m grateful.

Yes I’m considering another baby I’m 41. So I am too old. Thanks for making a 41 year old feel good. 👍

yes I’m considering having another baby I’m 41. And i thought maybe I’m too old… but thanks to the posts that are positive have made me feel reassured ❤️

Had my second and last at 39 he was a really easy baby and it wasn’t a problem. He’s 9 now eldest 13 and all good

I had my only child at 43. It keeps us young. We're active, healthy and financially secure. Pros and cons at any age!

Wtf are you on about! I do have 3 under 4 and a 9 year old! So what! Is the problem yea I do have a big house 🏠 and?? Are you hating? Like what is your problem??

Because you wouldn't say "all three of mine are under 4" if you had a nine year old.

As you well know. All of the children are not under 4 if one is 9.

I didn't know this!! Such an important thing to consider.. I had my first at 35, and am pregnant with number 2 who will arrive when husband and I are 46 and 37. Our toddler is being assessed for autism - this could be related to our older age, but then again autism could have presented at any age.

Having a babies younger wasn’t an option for me as i hadn’t found my person until i was 31. Not only that, i think relationship and financial stability, (and health) are most important when considering children. So your question actually cannot be answered simply.

I had DD1 at 41 & DD2 at 42. They were born 18 months apart. I didn’t meet my exH until I was in my late thirties. My DDs at 16 & 14 now and I’m so glad I had them later in life. I’m just more together and relaxed.

I was 37 and had no issues getting pregnant.

I quit my job and am a SAHM for now until school age. I spend more time with my kid than my young mum did with me and my siblings due to work (no dad around really). I wouldn't of been mentally or financially been able to cope with a baby in my 20s. I am tired due to a highly active young child but if he slept better and was a bit more chilled then I think I would be ok 😆

I think it's less of an age issue and more to do with your own situation.

My personal cut off is 40 (for myself). However for others I wouldn’t even blink up to 49-50. I think at 50, 50+ is a bit reckless.

I had mine at 20 and 26, my mum had me at 37 and I felt she was way too old when I was a teenager so that put me off. I’m please now that I can leave my children alone at home for the day and not worry, we also go away lots as a couple and have lots of personal time. definitely don’t envy my sister who is 38 with two toddlers, my other sister had very much unplanned twins at 39 and then a horrific mid life crisis when they were 10 (she’s a lot older than me) so that has also put me off wanting any more, but lots of my friends are early 40s having first children and they are fine, they say they did their living before hand.

Oh it definitely keeps you young!! I love my motherhood experience.. the good and the bad.. feel blessed to have that little creature who’s currently attempting to destroy the printer…

I think it depends on when you started - I think if you started young it might difficult to have another at 40. However, if you waited until your forties - it will be won't effect you as much.

I'd say 35 or so, assuming you have a choice and can get pregnant when you want to. I started at 24 and had my last (of four) at 33, but have many friends who had babies around 35 and said that was their last. I do know a very few people who started having children in their late 30's, with later children in their early 40's but they found it quite exhausting.
None of this can apply obviously if you have trouble conceiving.

My mother had my (only) sibling when I was 9 and she was 43. So some years later she collected child benefit and her state pension at the same time. Apart from being a little embarrassed by that I don't think she minded being an 'old' mother, and I couldn't have asked for a better one.

I had my first at 34, my second at 35 and my 3rd at 37. I had my 2nd quickly as I was older and I had a lot of people around me with fertility issues. I was always aware that by 35 you have half or less than half of your egg count. I'd have a 4th if someone handed me a 4th but I definitely wouldn't have a 4th pregnancy in me. It's just really harsh on your body I think, everything hurts and you get every plague going with younger kids and you can't even take a lemsip. Pregnancy is lovely and all but it's hard going. I think I was old enough in my late 30s but who's to say I wouldn't of felt just as wrecked in my 20s. It's hard to know but the egg thing is something to consider.