How old is too old to have a baby?

[Shaz83]

Just wondering how old is too old to have a baby? Fair enough being healthy etc is fine.. but how old is too old?

Yes not sure what you're asking, I had my last one at 49, surprise pregnancy despite using contraception, obviously that was as nature intended, has given me a new lease of life in some ways. But had 3 other children to help. Ideal is younger for energy but some people don't meet the right partner until later on (I married at 29 so not that young). And not usually ideal for finance/career path.

I think anything under 40 is fine (I had my last at 33 but plenty of my friends had them up to 40) but my friend had a baby at 42 and she says that her DC has aged her by about 25 years overnight and she is physically and mentally exhausted.

I just had my first at 37 didn't meet my DP till I was 31 and when we started TTC it took us 2 years . If I have another one I would probably be 40 giving birth not sure I want another one as I feel that's too old but I don't want her to be an only child (I'm an only child)

Why did I have a child at 38? Because sadly life didn't work out as I wanted and I didn't meet the right person until later.
Of course, life is unpredictable and a young mum could die early and an old mum could live to a 100. I know that's true. I myself had cancer when my children were toddlers. My friend died young of cancer, leaving two children behind. My mum had my brother at 42.
However we do know that it's rare to die young and in general, the later you have your children, the less time you'll have with them.
I don't think being an older mum is a disaster, at all. We all know older mums who are doing a great job (I include myself!! Haha!). I just think that in an ideal world there are many benefits to having them younger. Like I said in my first post, many women have a really tough time through perimenopause/menopause - low energy, insomnia, anxiety etc. I wish I'd had mine earlier so I had more energy when they were younger.

That’s because you have children at a young age But there are others who have not been as lucky as you. If you had no children by 35 would you stop trying no 1 can say unless they actually stop with no children.

I had children at 43/45 - natural conception, trouble free births. Now in early 60s - so the dreaded ‘teenagers in 60s’ territory. It’s actually all going fine. Still working full time - not floored by menopause during toddler years. No zimmer frame yet or lack of energy. I seemed to cope with pregnancy better than many younger colleagues - no time off - and this was before the days of WFH, travelling regularly etc. Everyone is different. I agree that it’s unlikely I’ll be much practical use as a grandmother and will likely die earlier than most of their contemporaries’ mothers but I’ve been a solid, dependable, engaged and loving parent who was able to provide a comfortable home and allow them to reach their potential (so far). Very few people grow up in 100% ideal circumstances. Having a partner who shoulders their share is also a massive bonus.

So you think to be a mummy to a child for 50 plus years being there emotionally for them etc?? Is not enough time?

I would have said 35 but reading this post makes me realize I am weeks from turning 35 and I don't think now I am too old for another one...

It's clear you think it's brilliant to be an elderly mother and get all defensive at everyone pointing out the major downsides, so.... why ask for opinions?

Too old is when you're in menopause. (Excluding those who go through it prematurely).

4th thread you have done on this, perplexing, wonder what answer your waiting on...

Anything above 35 is too old.

Wow! This is her fourth thread on the same thing?

@LePetitMaman

OP has been writing these posts for about a week now, shooting anyone down who has the opinion that having babies 40+ isn't that great 😊

It makes me a little sad to see posters saying a woman is too old to have a baby over the age of 35 when that is when I had my first. I know I’m a great mum and don’t see myself as an old mum at all! In fact, I’m probably fitter than many mums who are much younger than me (bit of an assumption by I do pretty well in the mums’ race at sports day- haha). Mumsnet can be really harsh and a bit odd sometimes.

I don't do that advance search on posters, cba doing that but I remember the name as it's a friend's nickname and the content.

I'm genuinely not trying to be mean as I can see OP is clearly mentally struggling.

I don’t know a single person of my generation who had a baby before they were 30! I think most people are quite influenced by their local demographic!

I don’t have a child so I don’t know how valid my opinion is on this but surely your body tells you when you can’t have a child anymore. Menopause. Unless obviousness you need help to start off with. Then of course it’s down to your own discretion how long you try.

I only asked when is it too old to have a baby? I didn’t ask for negative comments did I? That’s my opinion I’m not being defensive It’s just obvious if that’s how you feel then why have a baby late??

Yep, so you didn't want the opinions. Just people saying it's a brilliant idea to be an elderly mother.

I didn't realise this was your 4th thread saying the same thing, and agree with PP view on that. Wishing you well.

And why does it affect you? You got a problem with that? I can do 10 threads about the same topic no one is forcing you to comment🤷🏻‍♀️

Why does it bother people so much if I post the similiar thing??? No one is telling you or them to read it?? 😂

No one is bothered. Just to be clear.

Simply observation on behaviour, and the conclusion people might draw from that. Hyper focusing, repeated identical threads and defensive snipes at people (the majority) who post the opinion that doesn't support yours, suggests you are far from " 😂 "

Wishing you well.

Christ, you're annoying.
And abusing the goodwill of this community.

and no one is asking you to read my posts….

I don’t see how? What is wrong with you all? I’m being positive saying it’s not all bad being older. And I’m getting abused!